Just no copying^^. That's all =)
If you do, i'll make sure u don't again -blink-
Swearing = ok (Y) cos i do it too ><
All work is original except for song lyrics xP
I take no credit for those at all~








Music Code here=)
GetItHere! lalala~ :D

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
January 2011
March 2011

you can tell who cares.

Labels: emotions

this will be a weird post.

everyone else blogs about their academic successes.

i blog about my joy of procrstinating xDDD

FINISHED DEATH NOTE TODAYYYY~!!! >w<

L<3

L is the SEX! >D

haha yeah.

fun today =)

everyday is fun

sorry to carumen-chan and mr madgewick for falling asleep in class TT

and thankyou carumen-chan for ur jumper =)

Don't you hate waiting in the office payment line for the WHOLE of recess...only to be rejected by the bell when you're one spot away from the window?
yeah?
yeah >[

on another note.
the hsc is my boyfieee 8D
quote Carumen-chan: 'jsf puts the time and effort in begugu, but begugu puts the time and effort in HSC. what an unrequited love."

Absolute values anyone?
LOLLLL Du Do Rina<3 ;P
maths is fun with Rina :3 <33
hahahaha i am virgin mary on lia's mobile xD
me and rina like comparing our boyfiessss -
'-mesinging- dudududududududududu (unconciously saying dudu's name xD)
rina: josephjosephjosephjosephjosephjosephjosephjosephjoseph'
funfun xD

heehee reminds me. miss lee has the cutest diagrams =)
'me important =)' xDDD
she laughed at my jaye snsd video =D

oh brainwave.
why do ppl think i'm bianca-ish in ref to taming of the shrew? O_O

Tina is funny =)
a nice person^^

lunchtime we had lots of fun chiming in on src open forum.
me and cath and bri and tina and grace and shirley =)
lol chiming ms ash's fotos xDDDD
90's theme for the snr dance anyone?

modern in the multimedia room.
i like the french revolution 8)
tis very interesting.
the history chanel is my other boyfiee xD

finished dead poet's society today.
robin williams<3
so epic and like...EPIC! =D -nicemushyfeeling-
the last scene makes me wanna cry =)
oh bromance xDD

a shout-out to phil cos i havnt blogged enugh to say it before:
glad it wasnt a bad break-up<3
hope you're alright -huggu-

YAYYY~! my realplayer video downloader button is up again~!!! 8D
-massyoutubedwnlding-

greencurry for dinner<3

i have a red beard rite now ><
dno if its sunburn or eczema TT

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school

yes my room is a fking mess.

you bought half the stuff in it.

and kevin's NEVER been tidy.

never see you telling HIM off.

gtfo man.

it's not like it's affecting YOUR image.

Labels: rage

oh btw will blog about camp later.

after i have time TT



Haha a call every hour turne dout to be only 2 ;P
-patpat-
thanks for listening though<3

things to do before end of day/asap:

[ ] Adv. Eng: Start looking for stuff for Relationships Supplementary Material
[ ] Ext Eng: Finish reading Induction of Taming of a Shrew and read 'background' in booklet
[ ] Maths: Finish all HW.
[ ] Jap: Kanji Workbook and Writing exercises and all sheets. Kanji Book.
[ ] PD: Dimensions of Health Exercise (Task 1 and 2) *STOP FKING DRAWING AND START TO WRITE!!!
[ ] Modern: Write up the JFK analysis at back of booklet u were supposed to do by last week.
[ ] Ancient: Survey and read up.
[ ] If I can't find diary by 2moz at school, get another one from officeworks.
[ ] A Capella: Learn 'Candy' and whatever other songs there are to learn for other vocals
[ ] Learn 'Do You Hear the People Sing?~'
****[ ] DO AFS PPT!!!!

will add and cross off as i go ><

GANBAROU~!

Labels: fail, stress

i did it again.
i'm so useless.

spur of the moments used to be so awesome.
now it's killing the people i don't want to hurt.

you can feel everything spiral down slowly.

i've always been a walking cliche.
so i'll say the cliche things...because that's the only way i can express myself.

i'm sorry for hurting you.
it hurts.
it hurts to think how much i hurt you.

it's so hard.

why can't i say the right things.

why can't i just shut up for once.

why can't i for once take into consideration what other people think.
(how hypocritical.)

i tend to exaggerate a lot.
and i didn't realise this.
or is that an excuse for being horrible.
maybe.
i'm pathetic like that.
trying to make out myself to be the innocent one.
i'm 2-faced.
if you didn't know, you know now.

what a hypocrite.

and as i scrolled down, my heart was painfully wrenching into knots.
i'm so shallow.
perhaps i knew all of this already.
or maybe it never occurred to me how fragile everything has become.
and as always
i accidentally knocked it to the ground.





Please don't forgive me.
i don't deserve to be forgiven.

Labels: emotions

i'm pissed...i can't find my diary.
it's new.
i've barely written in it.




...it has a copy of my birth certificate in it.




fk.



camp.was.interesting.

i had a revelation while i was there.
i always get very emo during camps.
i wonder why.

mum's screaming at me rite now.
cos i raged at her.
haha.
my mood's been shit the whole night.
so go away.
it's no justification.
but that's the onli reason i have.

you know...i honestly dont care anymore.
and i don't see why you do so much.
see that's the problem.
you're never there when i need you.
but you're always there after someone's gotten to me first.
that's why...i don't tell you anything.
why burden you with something if it's no longer an issue?
i wish you could understand that.
i'm not keeping secrets.
i'm lightening what you have to go through.
so please don't misunderstand.
and we can save the both of us a hard night.
if it bothers you that much
try to understand it's just timing.
there's only so many people i can cry to.

Labels: emotions

-pencil case drops-
Rina: NOOOOO MR SNUFFLES~!!

LOL



Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

Labels: emotions

Was listening to this song and i dno...just clicked.
It's not August but hey meh. they're talking about summer turning to autumn so gg xD We the Kings<3


Say a prayer
The summer nights are dead
The fall is coming
We were careless hearts
Who got caught up in this

You were shy
To the night you drove me wild
And you crashed into me
And I won't lie
I wish it lasted a lifetime

Please stay-ay-ay
Won't you stay-ay-ay
Tonight

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over

Now we wait
Cause August had to end
All our bags are packed
Just two broken hearts
That got caught up in this

I deny
That tomorrow you'll be gone
And so far from me
It's something strange
Never love the same way

Please stay-ay-ay
Won't you stay-ay-ay
Tonight

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone

We can try to drown it out
But it never stops breathing
We can take it all in
But it never slows down
We've come down from that cloud

Well say-ay-ay
What you gotta say-ay-ay
Please say-ay-ay
What you gotta say
Whoa-a-oh-oh
Whoa-a-oh-oh

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over
We're not the reason
August is over

Labels: emotions

i have a weird obsession with bye bye. by mariah carey (HAHA BYEBYEBYE!)
actually now that i think about it i have a weird obsession with depressing songs ><;;

i am feeling very lethargic now.
i wonder if i should go on msn.
i'm appearing offline ><

but i know if i do i'll end up repeating wat i've done for every night so far, neglect hw and end up falling asleep -flop-. and as a result i'll get more experiences such as that from Mr mac today...and frankly i dont wanna be death-stared down by mac again ><

this morning missed the 19 train for combined so ended up taking 35 with nathan.
lol gave him his souvie and he's like O_o ok. xD
meh...i suck at buying gifts for guys (Y)

nathan's short. LOL
even if he's taller than me now, i was taller than him for the first 14 years of our lives so GG xD

we got to leos and i just saw one of our nsg buses go.
then the 143 nsb bus came.
and the driver didn't let nsb's on.
aka me too.
fml~
sosososososoooooo i was late (Y)
me and nathan took nsg bus and then walked back down to nsb.

at combined we learnt the beauty of the earth (or at least i think that's wat its called xD)
it's a really pretty song =)
i hope we get to do it for anzac.
we also sang crossing the...something again xD
which makes laugh.
the bass part which goes "and there will be no moaning moaning..."
and even tho they only say it twice,
i keep feeling like they'll keep going LOL
like
'moaning moaning moaning moaning...'
xDDDDD
yer
i'm
sad
=D
hugh cracks me up.
lol luke called me in middle of rehearsal >< gg.
i should change my ringtone (Y)
having WEEEEEEEEE-A-WHUM-A-WAAAAAAYYYY suddenly screaming in the middle of a peace song for anzac isn't good =D
luckily i didnt get screamed at by ms moulton^^

at the end of rehearsal ms moulton gave lisamarie the callback list, with 11 names on it.
julia, ariana, lilit, sarah, lml, monica c, margery a, lilian d, lucy (i forgot last initial ><), amanda b, and...someone i forgot D; (i'm sorryyyy! ><)
haha -down-.
ahh wells =) was happy for ppl^^
sarah you lucky bum xP
went to cry with em (not rly LOL) about ppl getting callbacks~
nts: must film 'SHARE THE LAUGH!<3' with Em one day >w<

then shot off.
cos
luke that loser was already there xP

got back to school
LOL you wore the white shirt!
gg you found it (Y)
and...went on a high LOL.
does it make sense to go on a high to get over depression?
yeah?
yeah.
xD
luke missed like 5 buses xD
stupid loser who has a swimming carnival xP
nah thnks for coming you gay =)
i'm so nice =D (please detect sarcasm)
more and more ppl came, and we were playing with sabwina's whale LOL
me and carumen chan and bella and weelay started playing the 'poke ur arms through someone else's and start doing actions' game =)
yes i was very high LOL.
jumping while attached to someone is very hard xD as we found out.

assembly was epic =)
sat nxt to jojo and jassy<3
for once the hensh said something ppl ngaaawww-ed to. -shock-
haha nah he's kool i guess?
ms melky is as awesomes as ever =D
log's sarcasm fit in with her character for gen earth presentation perfectly LOL
gen earth bins that say thnx LOL
then src skit was FREAKING AWESOME~!
lilian as the reject -cuesong- 'loonnneeellyyyy, i'm mr lonely~ i have nobo-'
-music stops-
-runs up to a group, the group runs away-
'-dy, for my owwwwnnnnn~ i'm so-'
repeat a few times LOL.
so funny =)
and then judy comes on with her awesome jnr src kiddies and does rap to where is the love [NSG REMIX!!!!] xD
L.O.V.E~!<33
the jnrs are admittedly cute =D
subject changes nxt week monday yayy~
ancient~!! =D

got our train passes (BLUEEEE!!! >w<) and bus passes (...poo green? O_O)

we had pd 1st (well 2nd) period.
that was when my high was wearing off.
-low-
me and catlin talked about our respective situations
-depressed-
talking about it makes me realise how bad it possibly is.
lenloe and carumen-chan sat at the other table today.
we drew diagrams for dimensions of health.
i drew a gothic voodoo doll with button eyes (Y) [coraline inspired i guess?]
relecting my mood i guess ><
apparently it looked like sailor moon D;
-gets rid of bow-

recess, in E block
hit epic low.
i think was combination of a few things.
one of the being my convo with catlin.
then the other being...i dno?
><
but yes was down there at recess.
sorry if i was antisocial guys =(

maths~
quiz~
fk~ =D
but we've finished our first topic so yay =)
we're doing factorising now i think?

lunchtime had acapella~
ms cleggie is epic^^


but i was still low at acapella.
low to the point where...i physically couldn't sing.
now i know how reira felt in nana...
it just takes away your voice.
heartbreak i mean (not that i'm literaly heartbroken but...a similar emotion?)

left quickly after rehearsal but stopped by music noticeboard to see the callback list again.
=)
-sigh-
turned around and noticed another list on the other noticeboard.
and almost stumbled.
-SHOCK-
twas another list.
with 2 or 3 more names on it
+ the guys callback list.
the first name at the top.
'Rebecca Dai Yr 11'

You know that feeling where you're not crying cos ur sad, but ur not crying cos of joy either.
it's like this...trigger of a mixture of regret, surprise, exasperation and...relief.
that's what it felt like.
the dam would've broke if it weren't for everyone else there.

ah and dania got in too =)
so did eddie LOL (my bro jawdropped at that LOL)
but rayray didnt =(
feel kinda sad cos he was working so hard for it.
helped him practice on thurs when i went with bella and carumen-chan to their auds.
so i had free time to do whatever so i was helping him rehears the cafe song.
with its over an octave jump 'and i can hear them now~'
-patpat- nxt year rayray! GANBATTE!

ecoo ecoooo ecooooo
is gna be the end of me ><
i'm so baddd at it T_T
and mr mac hates me LOL (cos i didnt do my hw ><)
he even made me open up to my eco notes and show himt he empty sheet ><
T_T
cant wait to drop it bleurgh

modern with melky~
more jfk
watched the kool vid with the computer-generated graphics.
LOL was shit tired tho ><
my arm which was holding up my head kept slipping ><

walking to leos, met jojo and lauren halfway =)
(jojo was going to touch at artarmon =) )
and walked together =)
jojo's so kyoooot -squeee- >w<
haha we were contemplating how we met...but neither of us remember ><

claudz was going to epping to see jm get bashed up.
O_O
okkkkkk~
-nocomment-

we missed the 41 train so i had to wait till 52 for the train to pymble (Y)

Taylor Swift is 180cm ;O

at home talked to mum about uni courses and subjects ( i do that a lot nowadays ><)
major D&M about future.
then mum had to leave to go with dad to our rehab property LOL
(water leakage)

they were gone for ages and kev came out and told me so.
and i ended up napping on the couch for like...3 hrs?

so we ended up having dinner at 10pm (Y)
mum's new egg and crab roe dish is rly nice :3
i like pineapples.

after dinner talked to mum about kanji LOL
random much.

after opening the link lauren sent me (thnx btw lauren<3) for surrender all by trevor hodge,
i can't close it ><
as in...i just keep playing it on repeat.
and it's like drilling into my head xD
but its such a beautiful song =)
memories of rice '09<3



it is 3am.
i told caurmen-chan i'd be asleep before 2 ><
yet another broken promise.

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school

i've lost motivation to blog much detail.

haha i guess it doesn't take a genius to wonder why.

so i'm sorry but ur getting an abbreviated today for today's post =)

oh and its justified...i only got home at 8:30pm >< i'm tired shit~

Labels: emotions

keep ur opinions to urself btch

can u like...not shoot down ppl.

it's not even me.

can't you appreciate that some ppl TRY, and do their BEST!

so as far as i'm concerned you couldn't care less.

and for that matter, you can go btch as much as u want about how your life sucks like shit.

just leave my friends out of this.

quote The Notebook: "Go stick it where the sun don't shine."

Labels: emotions, rage

rage/pissed list:

1. miki-chan is with brig on all wkends for the 2 weeks she's shere (one of the wkends being in melb) so it'll be hard for me to meet up with her unless on wkdays which is hard as well. cos unlike some ppl, i care about how i do in yr 11.

2. i dont know if the jap matsuri (festival) was on at dasrling harbour today, cos it was raining. and i didnt go cos i thot it wud be cancelled cos of the rain.

3. gpa's bday dinner is tonight, but i'd rather stay at home and study/do shit. i love gpa and all...but family dinners are getting redundant. srsly.

4. subject choices. fking stressed. enough said.

5. blog post left on standby, then got wiped when i got back on.

6. eczema. period.

7. my selfish self.

Labels: emotions, rage

i'm pissed.

the 'compose' button is my worst enemy.

one day i will fking slay it.

cos when you go from 'edit html' to 'compose'

half my post disappears

-killsthecomposebutton-

on a lighter note...

how's everyone else's dreary saturay? =D

Labels: emotions, rage

Labels: emotions

i'm exhausted.

not physically.

i got more than 6 hrs sleep last night so yeah not like sleepy...even tho it was broken in 3 and 4hr sections.

like...from thinking.

it makes my head hurt @_@

just thinking about everything.

ok i need another word. LOL
'thinking hurts my head' ==;; gg

uhmmm reflecting?
yeah i guess.

reflecting on everything right now.

it's such a magnitude of feelings.

there are thoughts bouncing around everywhere in my head.
and nowhere to express them.
nobody to tell them to.

help...i'm becoming a cynic.
on the one thing i dont wanna be cynical about.
i dont care if it means i'm delusional.
or if it means i'm naive.
i just don't wanna become cynical.
yes i'm the type who prefers to be lied to if it keeps me happy.
(not really...)
but to put it in another way, i'd rather chase a fantasy
than become duped because of harsh reality.

Labels: emotions, stress

this morning was relaxed.
because mum was ok to drive me.

i was falling asleep on the train while sitting up.

when i got to school, i went in eblock. and i saw tracey and lenloe at the opp. door
but then when i was halfway down the corridor
another junior girl opened it.
== well gg.

In maths i sat with rina,
and we were doing surds.
notes notes~

contemplating to go library at lunch
(i forgot that i had acapella at lunch ><)

i feel bad =( jassy and lauren won't be able to do yr 11 Vocal cos of iscf =(
nobody would listen =(

lol atomic vocal =) -hi5jassy and lauren-

then had eco~ eco~ eco~ (no...bec. no)
talked to lauren bout rice =) ricesongs<3
and shared around oreos LOL

acapella *nts:learn candy!!

i feel sorry for jassy =(
cos she wants to learn so much but people who aren't considerate and only doing it for fun are making it worse.

we were talkinga bout determinants of health.
and carumen-chan mentioned negative ppl who sit in a corner and like...emo.
then lenloe slammed her on the back. i freaked out.
then lenloe slid over to join miss polly who was tlaking over there and said we weren't being productive.
-sigh-
hehe pd is fun with alice and catlin.

was raining, and decided to take bus to station for once.
then changed my mind halfway through crossing pacific hwy LOL

was singing forever and always as i walked to leos.
-cuesong- 'i'm singing in the rain~'
no bec...just no ==

at leos i walked past maccers and saw adrian standing there.
and i considered whether i would talk to him
in the end i walked straight past with head bowed.
wat a coward.

on the platform i saw the others,
but when they were getting on i changed my mind at the last minute and went down the paltform towards the end.
funnily enough, after waiting a while at the back,
adrian came down the stairs.
he walked past too LOL

the macquarie train came,
and the txt said he was on it.
so i ran onto the train.

met up...even if it was only for 5 minutes.

on the train, i plucked up courage to plonk down nxt to AJ LOL (ew...it's so weird calling him that LOL)
i think he looked at me and was like...O_O tf.
but then he talked first so =)
he's changed.
in a good way =)
like more mature.
maybe we both are =)
it seems yr 6 was such a long time ago.
i wanna put it behind me now, which is why i'm glad we were able to talk so easily today.
we talked about yr 11 and peer support lol.
he's doing very similar subjects as me! xD like...pd and eco and modern i think, and 3eng 2 maths xD
overall it was nice =)
i wanna break down that barrier that we never overcame in 4 years.
it would be nice if we could become friends =)
edit: his voice is SO much lower now xD like...it was maybe even whiney in yr 6
hahaha good times =)
it made me happy.

i guess this is what they mean by one day you'll be able to look back on that and laugh...=)

Labels: emotions, life, nostalgia, school

yerr...

becoz of this shitty situation wher i get fking cut every night at 11:00pm-11:30pm,
i dont get the freaking net when i'm most active T_T

so sorry if i stop talking to you guys on msn like randomly,
it's just that there's so much shit i need to do before i get off...
esp these few days when i havn't been home on time a single day
yer...since the start of the week i've been getting home around 6:30pm+
monday was 8pm (Y)

-sigh-

ah
btw

posts for yesterday and 2day will come.

i'll write them up online then post them with the right date later (WHEN I HAVE NET AGAIN! T_T)

i'm rly soz T_T
yes i'm overdramatic.
cos most ppl shud be asleep by now anywayz ==;;
but yeah...you know me LOL

mum stresses me out.
she fking stresses me out more than fking hw.
kevin saying rly scary shit about he wudnt care if she died has got me FKING stressed.
its his temporary feelings but i'm actually scared he feels like that for real.
fk.
and to add to it all, mum's giving me shit about everything.
sleeping.
work.
late nights.
msn.
suss about random ppl on msn (WTF?!)
and lots of other shit.

i need a cooldown period.

~breattthhheeee~

k i'm calm.

ona lighter note, thanks to all u guys for making my life, just a bit better than the parental hell it could be<3

so until later~

<33

Labels: emotions, rage, stress

FK
MY
LIFE~!

every fking night is like a fking race against the fking clock to do watever i can with the fking net before i get fking cut T_T

FARK THIS SHIT!~ T_T

-bitchrantover-

;D

Labels: emotions, fail, rage, stress

In PD,
We watched Homer (Simpsons) vs Cartman (South Park)
LOL
i kinda admire Homer's motivation as a father.
it was twisted...and also like...not really deep.
but to a point, it was admirable.
Homer looking at a Gym.
"a...gime?"
goes inside
"OOOHHH...a GIME!"

fking LOL xD
Cartman: "Dolphins are stupid! Because they live in igloos!"
satirical material makes me laugh xD



i've given up on coming up with titles for my posts (Y)

last night i stayed up till 3 contacting books LOL

i'm weird. xD

woke up at 6:30 to get ready for combined choir.
funfun~ it's been a while =)
combined is always awesomely fun^^ cos we have awesomes there =)

oh did i mention my mickey watch broke? D;
well the centre silver mickey head broke T_T
as well as the glass cracking =\
dont ask me wat i've been doing with it LOL
but anywayz, it still works.
but i'll leave it in my box of 'standby' watches for now
i'm now wearing the black heart dolphin watch that grabs onto ur hand.
haha its nice to not have to twist my wrist 360 degrees to get to the time for once xD

got to pymble in time for the 7:18 train~
met alex on the train with his yr 8...friend?-ish LOL
i was doing my kanji practice,
and we talked about stuffs.
alex might not do musical this yr =(
will miss toto~
i was counting on him doing gavroche too =(

nts: don't try to write kanji in pen on a moving train ==;;

we got to leos, and the 290 bus came.
i got on to walk from nsg to nsb,
and i bet alex i wud get to jblock before him
walked, got there,
gg...alex was there already ==;;
fml~ =D

but i was early for once so all's good =D
lawls everyone was talking about les miz.
suvie talks to tristan a lot O_O
she laughs a lot louder too LOL
just something i felt like pointing out.

me and lisa-marie and sarah talked to ms daley whoc am up to fotocopy something :3
i gave her a hug >w<
see i hug awesome teachers LOL
apparently she's been sneaking into capa staff and will get in trouble for it with english head if they find out LOL
she's also back to 30% art =)
yayy~ old room <33
and yayy she's doing crew this yr too >w< cant wait!! <33

i was the only alto for 10 minutes.
very sad LOL
'1, 121, 12321, 1234321...' and so on :3
i'm so out of tune LOL

we learnt new songs that could potentially go int he anzac ceremony =)
i like 'the winner takes it all'
it's so...like...epic xD
well it sounds epic.
but the other songs are very <3 too.
the new beginning or something one was very like...nice too.
tristan makes me laugh xD
so does hugh xD
so does sarah the midget ;P ahahahaha i love dissing her ;P

at the end of rehearsal we were leaving, the julia collapsed D;
from...not enugh sleep i think? (me: shifty sweatdrop)
was worried T_T
butbutbutbutbutbut~
saw tristan and his face was so like...D; worried.
and i dno.
that was just so <33
like ngawwww
he knelt down and like asked her if she was ok and tried to help her up
(altho julia be strong and stood up on her own =D)
for some reason, watching this whole exchange was very >w< for me
even though i shouldn't be happy over julia collapsing D;
i'm not.
but
-sigh- i'm still so HR (hopeless romantic).
i still go kyaaaa over like <3 situations.
yeah i need to grow up ==;;

we were talking to ms moulton about les miz for auds
and LOL apparently On My Own got cut from the score for the school version
which is crazy
cos its one of the main songs
and wats worse
everyone's shitting themselves cos everyone learnt that one for auds!!
xDDDD
like all the girls who know les miz,
are singing on my own
including me, sarah, julia, lisamarie, and monica etc.~

haha gged

then we nagged ms moulton and told her to put it back in xD
even tristan was -mouthdrop- at it xD
tristan is passionate about musical ;P
he wants javert and valjean's confrontation put back in so bad xD

we then walked back up
and me and sarah talked~ xD

btw there were some new ppl at combined today =)
the yr 10 alto girl sitting nxt to me was very good~
-feelsshit- xD
oh and paul wasn't there.
i wonder why not =\
it's not like him to miss combined

went back to school and tracked down bex.
we sat down with majo who was clinging to me LOL
then i went to talk to em and mon,
and em was telling us to party as much as possible in yr 11
cos we wud regret it in yr 12 haha
em<3 we had a 'SHARE THE LAUGH~!' moment~ ^w^
even tho we had no pillow to boobsandwich LOL
we air-cheseted (Y) xD

at assembly me and bex found the others.
turned out they were sitting outside eblock exit.
wahhhh didnt know ><;;
-sighhh-

assembly was interesting =)
twas multitudingly (LOL) funny =)
i fking LOL at the twilight representation of yr 8 LOL
orla wat a legend =)

our grade's was a bit weird haha
we were depicted as...err...nerd rivalists?
lol at kylie and alicia tho.
cambridge txtbook LOL

for 2nd period i had eco with steffu =)
we have mr mac
i felt bad cos after 3 hrs of sleep i was feeling otu of it ><
so...
i dozed off for a few seconds sometimes.
thanku steffu for always nudging me awake<3
its probs rly annoying for you T_T
but thankyou
and according to steffu mr mac notices it and ignores it =(
that makes me feel bad
so after that my eyes were wide awake LOL
ok from tonight on i promise to sleep before 1am.
unless i srsly cant help it.
i dont wanna fk yr 11 up...and to do that i'll have to be awake in class ><
i need to revise wats the other 2 characteristics of wants...err... wait...i know what complimentary and changeable is.
ok nvm ><

nts: highlight all sheets for studying from now on. and in ref to that, put another coloured highlighter in pencil case ><

after eco me and steffu went down and took a look at musical auds signup.
wowww so many ppl now. ><

i feel so...like...wont get it D;
i can do crew if i dont tho :3

we chatted to cici and juhi from yr 10 about it and i gave cici tips about crew =)
also toalked to them about work exp.
i like those 2 =) they did drama night with us
good memories~ them dusting my hair with baby powder LOL
my hair stank up the whole stage that night xD
we had so much fun =)
i rly hope they do crew^^ or even better if cici (cos juhi doesnt want to) gets in cast with us =D
oh yeah i gave cici best and fairest award for our team last yr so (Y)
she deserved it =)

not much time left in recess
went to pd with carumen-chan and lenloe~
yayy ms polly<3
3 of us sat on table with catlin and alouse,
yay i remember to give carumen-chan lenloe and al the pd notes~

fml i just fell asleep for 2 hrs...now i mite not have neugh time to do potential work T_T
ah...an i could've sworn my eyes were open O_O
the whole time. SHOWER SHOWER~!!!
ok all good.
blogblog~!

we watched south park and the simpsons in pd =)
was funny
we were comparing homer and cartman's ideas of health GG
xD
eww...1000(or something)g of saturated fat per serving DX
miss polly is awesomes<3
have i said that?
i might've...
or not ^^;;
well she is.
she's very young and full of awesome ideas =)
i feel bad if i switch but...-sigh-
i dnoooooooooo

lunchtime there was accapella~ :3
first rehearsal of the year^^
oh and i just realised.
i'm in 4 vocal groups O_O not including musical, if i get in...
haha i'm so...like..
lame
xD
i cant sing for shit anywayz xD -offtunewailing-

extra curricular activities for the year (so far):
acapella
senior vocal
yr 11 vocal
combined choir
volleyball
coaching netball
umpiring netball
peer mediation if the opportunity arises O_O
D2MG if it happens?
errrrr.....Musical if i get in? D;
and Dancekool if that counts LOL

shoot~ hang in there T_T

anywayz accapella (Y)
we sung 'Candy'
it be a sexy song LOL
like the -swayyyyswaaayyyyy-
kinda song xD
imma singing contralto for this song,
and we dont do much LOL
like...2 notes every 3 bars?
ahshit...that reminds me
i gtota learn my part at home ><;;
-pianopianooo-
Lara gave out expired snake packets at the end of rehearsal LOL
they taste fine tho :3
but if i die of food poisoning (SO not melodramatizing here xD)
then you know what my cause of death was (Y)

eng 4th period was meh.
mr harrs is getting...bleurgh LOL
we already got some tasks and stuff
and we're writing about relationships and stuffs.
need to write a short composition about an important relationship in my life.

sabrina...leave my social life alone ==;;
can't i talk to ANYONE outside my normal group who doesn't ask about it first thing ==
that includes catlin too -sigh-
its getting old.
i'm dating. get over it.
gg

it's not like i'm sick of dating. quite the opp.
but
why can't ppl just...like GARGH!
i'm sitting in eng trying to decide who to write about
and sabrina yells across the room, with everyone listening, with mr harrs listening,
"Bec you want a first line?!"
-silence-
"he was once yours, but now he is mine~"
and this is EVERYTIME something remotely related to romantic relationships pops up.
it's getting frustrating
like
-headdesk-
-groans-
-facepalm-
==;;
i love sabrina, but like...
its getting...not funny anymore T_T

related material...2-3 pieces. -sigh-

maths was for the first time in...god knows how many yrs.
was
fun!

ok mebbe thats an exaggeration.
but it was pleasant.
i guess its cos i'm doing easy as shit stuffs,
but being taught by miss Lee actually relaxes me.
not because she's a slacker, cos she's not!
it's just...her demeanor
is nice
and motivational LOL
i sat nxt to maddy z and beryl (LOL in my class again ;P)
ah and we got our txtbooks~
they're cambridge
but look very like...not professional.
and not snr-ish LOL
cos they're thin and colourful xDD
but ah wells
better for storage =D

i think i actually took in the entire maths lesson for the first time in yonks~

lol anywayz

after school.
i felt...rebellious?
so when i saw sarah with phil with ness and a couple of guys i'd never seen before,
i crashed and joined their group LOL.
jason xu and john i think?
oh and ness's BOYFIIIIIEEEE! >D nathan. lOL
this is the first time i saw them together >w<
so sweeeeeeet kyyaaaaaaaa
i paparazzi-ed them incase u were wondering LOL

and we just talked.
it was nice.
just after school
talking.
not stressing about getting anywhere.
i had to go to officeworks anywayz.
so i walked with them to NS.
we took the bus from dominos cos we werent bothered to walkt he rest of the way LOL.
after we got off i parted ways with them~
and went to berry square

at officeworks i bought the little note-taker recorder thing we saw.
cos i have money after working now LOL
and also bought a shitload of medium-sized notebooks, all diff coloured :3
for official notes for each subject^^
i also bought a phone book and a binder grid book for maths, which will be a lot more convenient =)
so yes.

i impulse bought at officeworks LOL.
how
sad xD

after officeworks, i walked to greenwood.
and at greenwood i err...lol walked around.
bought something at kenny's cardiology -fufufufufufu-
and then a top and shorts at SES :3
i like i like~^^
i only have like one pair of shorts so was a need~ (not rly xD)

got on train from there and went home.

~~

i'm worried about you.
you've seemed really stressed out and distant and...thinking all the time
these past few days...
i wish i could figure you out.
even though you explained already.
it still seems a bit vague.
please D;
talk to me.

~~

got home and mum picked me up.
lol kev stayed back afterschool for 3 hrs (from 2:30) to 'watch bball'.
gg
how shifty LOL
well itcould be true but still wtf =L

while i was opening my note-taker, the plastic broke and sprang off my face rly close to my eye.
it felt like glass waahh ><
wonder if there's a mark.

yeah as i mentioned above, i flopped on bed for 2 hrs.
-sigh- gg

ah yeahh...gg
i ended up having to give mum and dad my report.
no use avoiding anymore ==
-sigh-

i'm tired.
but i gotta do work.
i've got shitload of stuff to do by 2moz.
well better get cracking =\
till nxt time~

Labels: emotions, friends, life, love, school

LOL phone prostitution xD



freaking yr 10 dance song now
now i know how annoyed the rest of the school would've been with us last year LOL
I LIKE IT LOOOOOOOOUUUUUUDDDDDD~!

kev forgot his maths books this morning gg
so i had to take his exercise book to school for him ==
mum insisted cos he did his hw as soon as he got it so... ==;;

i took 8:11 train,
and twas hot.
roxy came on at lindfield and was wearing stockings
i'm thinking 'TF! she's cold-blooded~!' LOL
not rly ><

surprise~ found out we had scram presentation 1st period to yr 7s
lol had no idea
lauren couldn't be let out of class by brauner
so i got to be granny~
lol joy~ old woman~ ^^;;
twas fun...kinda LOL
the hat/bonnet thingy was very floppy
and i couldn't see LOL
i kept lifting it up to try to see the audience.

had first jap lesson of the year~
got a shitload of handouts LOL
nina and christine like btch about mizoshiri-sensei xDD
i'm guessing they're gna drop.
if that's the case we'll be left with 5 people in the class LOL
gg
it's cool though.
we're in this tiny room (languages study room)
all on the same table

in eng adv, we be talking about relationships (Y)
LOL mr harrs cant spell.
yes
as in eng teacher. can't spell.
LOL gg
he spelt hierarchical 'hierochicol',
then professional 'proffesional',
acquaintance 'acquaintence'
we were listing types of relationships
then he said 'relationships with non-living things'
then i thought...vibrator
LOL FK
YES
I'M WRONG~! xDDDD

we have to come up with a visual rep for a personal relationship.
and then alouse said my earrings represented my boyfie LOLL
as in
has a bow in his hair and has 2 balls LMFAO~!
wtf man xDDD

as soon as recess bell rang i sprinted to nsb.
only to find it incredibly awkward walking through it when i got there ==
i tried to find out through nathan where kev sat but i ceebed looking for him lol.
so i dropped off his book at the office.
the office ladies seemed...i dno...dodgy LOL
then i went back out.
i didnt see anyone i knew =(
anywayz. yeah
was very hot
and sweaty
and
kev didnt even end up getting the book ==
frekaing hell

after recess we had a meeting period,
and ms melky talked to us about how we can't change lines and shit in our timetables.
lol yerr meh
we got talked to about camp,
and cabins.
-siiiggghhhh-

for the rest of the period we had a free (when we have nothing in our meeting periods its free :3)
we started talking about camp cabins and stuffs, but people were like...tangenting.
well when ppl had come back and stuff.
i rly wanted to eat my wrap (lunch) but everyone was like
'YOU JUST ATE'
so i settled for playing with it.
xDD
the shape felt so funny as i was tossing it around xP
and it was all smooth and lol.
carumen-chan gave me nutella~ :3
chocolate on a hot day isnt good idea but meh =)
hazelnuts<3

i then took carumen-chan with me to get my jap award at the office (assumably i got it O_O;;)
but the office ladies were like yeah u need to wait till end of week O_O
ok...
then we went to music staff to 1) ask about acapella (haha me and carumen-chan both in 3 vocals<3) and 2) borrow a pen to sign up for musical LOL
ms cleggie is awesomes too<33
i love how she talks. its just entertaining.
its almost as if she's singing when she's talking =D

and then we went back to group's spot.
and i got guguuuuuued from lenloe.
and it was nice tlaking to lenloe more =)
we had an entertaining convo, mainly consisted of 'guguuuuu's and -squishface-
xD

twas fun :3

then me and lenloe and carumen-chan started comparing our veins LOL
lenloe: this looks really cool...
carumen-chan: that's internal bleeding O_O
LOOOOOOL~! xDD
epic fail
ah and green veins look cool apparently xD

ppl then went to sport while the rest of us stayed for ext.
altho cath, weelay, caurmen-chan and lenloe went to maths
and I to english~

freney's not as bad as i imagined.
from wat i'd heard she sounded pretty crap teacher.
but she's not that bad =)
she explains things pretty well
(altho i fell asleep during the break betweek double periods, i wasn't bored. just shit tired LOL)
we talked about high culture vs. pop culture.
anywayz
yes
freney's nice =)
*the canon LOL

ran to the public bus stop just in time to catch the 254 with lenloe and carumen-chan =)

at the back, we sat with catlin
and we talked with hari~ :3
haha talking with hari is fun =)
she gave us heaps of advice on yr 11 and stuffs.
and we talked about musical^^
she's one of my fav yr 12s<3

lenloe and carumen-chan and hari got off at wynyard,
and is tayed on bus with catlin.
at th called doosh cos catlin told him to come to th LOL
but lazyass didnt want to so i deserted catlin lol.
catlin was disappointed that we didnt 'mwah' LOL
nxt time i'll tell catlin said mwah to doosh ^w^ ;P
catlin then met up with HER boyfiiii ;P

we went to belmore park (after ages :3)
and went to our spot =)

we bummed and killed each other for the nxt hour lol
spotto is fun xP
will have many bruises xD

i decided to dog dance jsut this week for the last time.
since i wud have vball nxt week,
so, i wouldn't be able to see him again on monday =\
so then~
i went home with him xP

leave my blue bra alone~ T_____T

took newcastle train.
and i slept LOL
i squished my eyes on his lap haha sorry T_T
on the way home from mac uni we were fascinated by shattered glass lol.
and spottos
all along epping rd >[
you suck
just cos u know ur street xP

so then i walked back
~~
oh yeah.
it was the first one in a long time.
underground, and before we separated.
i had wondered if it was gna happen again =)




but why do i feel like that spark is gone...



i like fish meat =)

ok beta get to work now =)

haha yay for msn talking~ keeps me busy^^

ja byebye~ :3

*nts: remember to fotocopy pd stuffs for al
*nts2: remember to get mum to fill out camp forms so we can nab cabins =)

Labels: emotions, friends, life, love, school

you know...i wonder if i'm being a bit too laid back

and somehow, i feel a bit...shallow?

it's just this nagging thing at the back of my head.
everyone's working so hard.
like, i'm working hard too.
i promised myself i would
but.
somehow, all the people coaching and studying extra around me is...
daunting

and also.

is my blog too happy?
i read over it.
and it somehow sounds like just a random journal.
there's no...insight?
it's all just
i did this.
i did that.
like...wtf man
T_T

maybe it reflects who i am
maybe i am just that naive, shallow little girl (ok not little ==;;)

maybe it's time to grow up.

Labels: emotions

you can tell who cares.

Labels: emotions

this will be a weird post.

everyone else blogs about their academic successes.

i blog about my joy of procrstinating xDDD

FINISHED DEATH NOTE TODAYYYY~!!! >w<

L<3

L is the SEX! >D

haha yeah.

fun today =)

everyday is fun

sorry to carumen-chan and mr madgewick for falling asleep in class TT

and thankyou carumen-chan for ur jumper =)

Don't you hate waiting in the office payment line for the WHOLE of recess...only to be rejected by the bell when you're one spot away from the window?
yeah?
yeah >[

on another note.
the hsc is my boyfieee 8D
quote Carumen-chan: 'jsf puts the time and effort in begugu, but begugu puts the time and effort in HSC. what an unrequited love."

Absolute values anyone?
LOLLLL Du Do Rina<3 ;P
maths is fun with Rina :3 <33
hahahaha i am virgin mary on lia's mobile xD
me and rina like comparing our boyfiessss -
'-mesinging- dudududududududududu (unconciously saying dudu's name xD)
rina: josephjosephjosephjosephjosephjosephjosephjosephjoseph'
funfun xD

heehee reminds me. miss lee has the cutest diagrams =)
'me important =)' xDDD
she laughed at my jaye snsd video =D

oh brainwave.
why do ppl think i'm bianca-ish in ref to taming of the shrew? O_O

Tina is funny =)
a nice person^^

lunchtime we had lots of fun chiming in on src open forum.
me and cath and bri and tina and grace and shirley =)
lol chiming ms ash's fotos xDDDD
90's theme for the snr dance anyone?

modern in the multimedia room.
i like the french revolution 8)
tis very interesting.
the history chanel is my other boyfiee xD

finished dead poet's society today.
robin williams<3
so epic and like...EPIC! =D -nicemushyfeeling-
the last scene makes me wanna cry =)
oh bromance xDD

a shout-out to phil cos i havnt blogged enugh to say it before:
glad it wasnt a bad break-up<3
hope you're alright -huggu-

YAYYY~! my realplayer video downloader button is up again~!!! 8D
-massyoutubedwnlding-

greencurry for dinner<3

i have a red beard rite now ><
dno if its sunburn or eczema TT

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school

yes my room is a fking mess.

you bought half the stuff in it.

and kevin's NEVER been tidy.

never see you telling HIM off.

gtfo man.

it's not like it's affecting YOUR image.

Labels: rage

oh btw will blog about camp later.

after i have time TT



Haha a call every hour turne dout to be only 2 ;P
-patpat-
thanks for listening though<3

things to do before end of day/asap:

[ ] Adv. Eng: Start looking for stuff for Relationships Supplementary Material
[ ] Ext Eng: Finish reading Induction of Taming of a Shrew and read 'background' in booklet
[ ] Maths: Finish all HW.
[ ] Jap: Kanji Workbook and Writing exercises and all sheets. Kanji Book.
[ ] PD: Dimensions of Health Exercise (Task 1 and 2) *STOP FKING DRAWING AND START TO WRITE!!!
[ ] Modern: Write up the JFK analysis at back of booklet u were supposed to do by last week.
[ ] Ancient: Survey and read up.
[ ] If I can't find diary by 2moz at school, get another one from officeworks.
[ ] A Capella: Learn 'Candy' and whatever other songs there are to learn for other vocals
[ ] Learn 'Do You Hear the People Sing?~'
****[ ] DO AFS PPT!!!!

will add and cross off as i go ><

GANBAROU~!

Labels: fail, stress

i did it again.
i'm so useless.

spur of the moments used to be so awesome.
now it's killing the people i don't want to hurt.

you can feel everything spiral down slowly.

i've always been a walking cliche.
so i'll say the cliche things...because that's the only way i can express myself.

i'm sorry for hurting you.
it hurts.
it hurts to think how much i hurt you.

it's so hard.

why can't i say the right things.

why can't i just shut up for once.

why can't i for once take into consideration what other people think.
(how hypocritical.)

i tend to exaggerate a lot.
and i didn't realise this.
or is that an excuse for being horrible.
maybe.
i'm pathetic like that.
trying to make out myself to be the innocent one.
i'm 2-faced.
if you didn't know, you know now.

what a hypocrite.

and as i scrolled down, my heart was painfully wrenching into knots.
i'm so shallow.
perhaps i knew all of this already.
or maybe it never occurred to me how fragile everything has become.
and as always
i accidentally knocked it to the ground.





Please don't forgive me.
i don't deserve to be forgiven.

Labels: emotions

i'm pissed...i can't find my diary.
it's new.
i've barely written in it.




...it has a copy of my birth certificate in it.




fk.



camp.was.interesting.

i had a revelation while i was there.
i always get very emo during camps.
i wonder why.

mum's screaming at me rite now.
cos i raged at her.
haha.
my mood's been shit the whole night.
so go away.
it's no justification.
but that's the onli reason i have.

you know...i honestly dont care anymore.
and i don't see why you do so much.
see that's the problem.
you're never there when i need you.
but you're always there after someone's gotten to me first.
that's why...i don't tell you anything.
why burden you with something if it's no longer an issue?
i wish you could understand that.
i'm not keeping secrets.
i'm lightening what you have to go through.
so please don't misunderstand.
and we can save the both of us a hard night.
if it bothers you that much
try to understand it's just timing.
there's only so many people i can cry to.

Labels: emotions

-pencil case drops-
Rina: NOOOOO MR SNUFFLES~!!

LOL



Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

Labels: emotions

Was listening to this song and i dno...just clicked.
It's not August but hey meh. they're talking about summer turning to autumn so gg xD We the Kings<3


Say a prayer
The summer nights are dead
The fall is coming
We were careless hearts
Who got caught up in this

You were shy
To the night you drove me wild
And you crashed into me
And I won't lie
I wish it lasted a lifetime

Please stay-ay-ay
Won't you stay-ay-ay
Tonight

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over

Now we wait
Cause August had to end
All our bags are packed
Just two broken hearts
That got caught up in this

I deny
That tomorrow you'll be gone
And so far from me
It's something strange
Never love the same way

Please stay-ay-ay
Won't you stay-ay-ay
Tonight

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone

We can try to drown it out
But it never stops breathing
We can take it all in
But it never slows down
We've come down from that cloud

Well say-ay-ay
What you gotta say-ay-ay
Please say-ay-ay
What you gotta say
Whoa-a-oh-oh
Whoa-a-oh-oh

Breathe in deep
And say goodbye
The saddest song
I'll ever write
For anyone, anytime

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over
We're not the reason
August is over

Labels: emotions

i have a weird obsession with bye bye. by mariah carey (HAHA BYEBYEBYE!)
actually now that i think about it i have a weird obsession with depressing songs ><;;

i am feeling very lethargic now.
i wonder if i should go on msn.
i'm appearing offline ><

but i know if i do i'll end up repeating wat i've done for every night so far, neglect hw and end up falling asleep -flop-. and as a result i'll get more experiences such as that from Mr mac today...and frankly i dont wanna be death-stared down by mac again ><

this morning missed the 19 train for combined so ended up taking 35 with nathan.
lol gave him his souvie and he's like O_o ok. xD
meh...i suck at buying gifts for guys (Y)

nathan's short. LOL
even if he's taller than me now, i was taller than him for the first 14 years of our lives so GG xD

we got to leos and i just saw one of our nsg buses go.
then the 143 nsb bus came.
and the driver didn't let nsb's on.
aka me too.
fml~
sosososososoooooo i was late (Y)
me and nathan took nsg bus and then walked back down to nsb.

at combined we learnt the beauty of the earth (or at least i think that's wat its called xD)
it's a really pretty song =)
i hope we get to do it for anzac.
we also sang crossing the...something again xD
which makes laugh.
the bass part which goes "and there will be no moaning moaning..."
and even tho they only say it twice,
i keep feeling like they'll keep going LOL
like
'moaning moaning moaning moaning...'
xDDDDD
yer
i'm
sad
=D
hugh cracks me up.
lol luke called me in middle of rehearsal >< gg.
i should change my ringtone (Y)
having WEEEEEEEEE-A-WHUM-A-WAAAAAAYYYY suddenly screaming in the middle of a peace song for anzac isn't good =D
luckily i didnt get screamed at by ms moulton^^

at the end of rehearsal ms moulton gave lisamarie the callback list, with 11 names on it.
julia, ariana, lilit, sarah, lml, monica c, margery a, lilian d, lucy (i forgot last initial ><), amanda b, and...someone i forgot D; (i'm sorryyyy! ><)
haha -down-.
ahh wells =) was happy for ppl^^
sarah you lucky bum xP
went to cry with em (not rly LOL) about ppl getting callbacks~
nts: must film 'SHARE THE LAUGH!<3' with Em one day >w<

then shot off.
cos
luke that loser was already there xP

got back to school
LOL you wore the white shirt!
gg you found it (Y)
and...went on a high LOL.
does it make sense to go on a high to get over depression?
yeah?
yeah.
xD
luke missed like 5 buses xD
stupid loser who has a swimming carnival xP
nah thnks for coming you gay =)
i'm so nice =D (please detect sarcasm)
more and more ppl came, and we were playing with sabwina's whale LOL
me and carumen chan and bella and weelay started playing the 'poke ur arms through someone else's and start doing actions' game =)
yes i was very high LOL.
jumping while attached to someone is very hard xD as we found out.

assembly was epic =)
sat nxt to jojo and jassy<3
for once the hensh said something ppl ngaaawww-ed to. -shock-
haha nah he's kool i guess?
ms melky is as awesomes as ever =D
log's sarcasm fit in with her character for gen earth presentation perfectly LOL
gen earth bins that say thnx LOL
then src skit was FREAKING AWESOME~!
lilian as the reject -cuesong- 'loonnneeellyyyy, i'm mr lonely~ i have nobo-'
-music stops-
-runs up to a group, the group runs away-
'-dy, for my owwwwnnnnn~ i'm so-'
repeat a few times LOL.
so funny =)
and then judy comes on with her awesome jnr src kiddies and does rap to where is the love [NSG REMIX!!!!] xD
L.O.V.E~!<33
the jnrs are admittedly cute =D
subject changes nxt week monday yayy~
ancient~!! =D

got our train passes (BLUEEEE!!! >w<) and bus passes (...poo green? O_O)

we had pd 1st (well 2nd) period.
that was when my high was wearing off.
-low-
me and catlin talked about our respective situations
-depressed-
talking about it makes me realise how bad it possibly is.
lenloe and carumen-chan sat at the other table today.
we drew diagrams for dimensions of health.
i drew a gothic voodoo doll with button eyes (Y) [coraline inspired i guess?]
relecting my mood i guess ><
apparently it looked like sailor moon D;
-gets rid of bow-

recess, in E block
hit epic low.
i think was combination of a few things.
one of the being my convo with catlin.
then the other being...i dno?
><
but yes was down there at recess.
sorry if i was antisocial guys =(

maths~
quiz~
fk~ =D
but we've finished our first topic so yay =)
we're doing factorising now i think?

lunchtime had acapella~
ms cleggie is epic^^


but i was still low at acapella.
low to the point where...i physically couldn't sing.
now i know how reira felt in nana...
it just takes away your voice.
heartbreak i mean (not that i'm literaly heartbroken but...a similar emotion?)

left quickly after rehearsal but stopped by music noticeboard to see the callback list again.
=)
-sigh-
turned around and noticed another list on the other noticeboard.
and almost stumbled.
-SHOCK-
twas another list.
with 2 or 3 more names on it
+ the guys callback list.
the first name at the top.
'Rebecca Dai Yr 11'

You know that feeling where you're not crying cos ur sad, but ur not crying cos of joy either.
it's like this...trigger of a mixture of regret, surprise, exasperation and...relief.
that's what it felt like.
the dam would've broke if it weren't for everyone else there.

ah and dania got in too =)
so did eddie LOL (my bro jawdropped at that LOL)
but rayray didnt =(
feel kinda sad cos he was working so hard for it.
helped him practice on thurs when i went with bella and carumen-chan to their auds.
so i had free time to do whatever so i was helping him rehears the cafe song.
with its over an octave jump 'and i can hear them now~'
-patpat- nxt year rayray! GANBATTE!

ecoo ecoooo ecooooo
is gna be the end of me ><
i'm so baddd at it T_T
and mr mac hates me LOL (cos i didnt do my hw ><)
he even made me open up to my eco notes and show himt he empty sheet ><
T_T
cant wait to drop it bleurgh

modern with melky~
more jfk
watched the kool vid with the computer-generated graphics.
LOL was shit tired tho ><
my arm which was holding up my head kept slipping ><

walking to leos, met jojo and lauren halfway =)
(jojo was going to touch at artarmon =) )
and walked together =)
jojo's so kyoooot -squeee- >w<
haha we were contemplating how we met...but neither of us remember ><

claudz was going to epping to see jm get bashed up.
O_O
okkkkkk~
-nocomment-

we missed the 41 train so i had to wait till 52 for the train to pymble (Y)

Taylor Swift is 180cm ;O

at home talked to mum about uni courses and subjects ( i do that a lot nowadays ><)
major D&M about future.
then mum had to leave to go with dad to our rehab property LOL
(water leakage)

they were gone for ages and kev came out and told me so.
and i ended up napping on the couch for like...3 hrs?

so we ended up having dinner at 10pm (Y)
mum's new egg and crab roe dish is rly nice :3
i like pineapples.

after dinner talked to mum about kanji LOL
random much.

after opening the link lauren sent me (thnx btw lauren<3) for surrender all by trevor hodge,
i can't close it ><
as in...i just keep playing it on repeat.
and it's like drilling into my head xD
but its such a beautiful song =)
memories of rice '09<3



it is 3am.
i told caurmen-chan i'd be asleep before 2 ><
yet another broken promise.

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school

i've lost motivation to blog much detail.

haha i guess it doesn't take a genius to wonder why.

so i'm sorry but ur getting an abbreviated today for today's post =)

oh and its justified...i only got home at 8:30pm >< i'm tired shit~

Labels: emotions

keep ur opinions to urself btch

can u like...not shoot down ppl.

it's not even me.

can't you appreciate that some ppl TRY, and do their BEST!

so as far as i'm concerned you couldn't care less.

and for that matter, you can go btch as much as u want about how your life sucks like shit.

just leave my friends out of this.

quote The Notebook: "Go stick it where the sun don't shine."

Labels: emotions, rage

rage/pissed list:

1. miki-chan is with brig on all wkends for the 2 weeks she's shere (one of the wkends being in melb) so it'll be hard for me to meet up with her unless on wkdays which is hard as well. cos unlike some ppl, i care about how i do in yr 11.

2. i dont know if the jap matsuri (festival) was on at dasrling harbour today, cos it was raining. and i didnt go cos i thot it wud be cancelled cos of the rain.

3. gpa's bday dinner is tonight, but i'd rather stay at home and study/do shit. i love gpa and all...but family dinners are getting redundant. srsly.

4. subject choices. fking stressed. enough said.

5. blog post left on standby, then got wiped when i got back on.

6. eczema. period.

7. my selfish self.

Labels: emotions, rage

i'm pissed.

the 'compose' button is my worst enemy.

one day i will fking slay it.

cos when you go from 'edit html' to 'compose'

half my post disappears

-killsthecomposebutton-

on a lighter note...

how's everyone else's dreary saturay? =D

Labels: emotions, rage

Labels: emotions

i'm exhausted.

not physically.

i got more than 6 hrs sleep last night so yeah not like sleepy...even tho it was broken in 3 and 4hr sections.

like...from thinking.

it makes my head hurt @_@

just thinking about everything.

ok i need another word. LOL
'thinking hurts my head' ==;; gg

uhmmm reflecting?
yeah i guess.

reflecting on everything right now.

it's such a magnitude of feelings.

there are thoughts bouncing around everywhere in my head.
and nowhere to express them.
nobody to tell them to.

help...i'm becoming a cynic.
on the one thing i dont wanna be cynical about.
i dont care if it means i'm delusional.
or if it means i'm naive.
i just don't wanna become cynical.
yes i'm the type who prefers to be lied to if it keeps me happy.
(not really...)
but to put it in another way, i'd rather chase a fantasy
than become duped because of harsh reality.

Labels: emotions, stress

this morning was relaxed.
because mum was ok to drive me.

i was falling asleep on the train while sitting up.

when i got to school, i went in eblock. and i saw tracey and lenloe at the opp. door
but then when i was halfway down the corridor
another junior girl opened it.
== well gg.

In maths i sat with rina,
and we were doing surds.
notes notes~

contemplating to go library at lunch
(i forgot that i had acapella at lunch ><)

i feel bad =( jassy and lauren won't be able to do yr 11 Vocal cos of iscf =(
nobody would listen =(

lol atomic vocal =) -hi5jassy and lauren-

then had eco~ eco~ eco~ (no...bec. no)
talked to lauren bout rice =) ricesongs<3
and shared around oreos LOL

acapella *nts:learn candy!!

i feel sorry for jassy =(
cos she wants to learn so much but people who aren't considerate and only doing it for fun are making it worse.

we were talkinga bout determinants of health.
and carumen-chan mentioned negative ppl who sit in a corner and like...emo.
then lenloe slammed her on the back. i freaked out.
then lenloe slid over to join miss polly who was tlaking over there and said we weren't being productive.
-sigh-
hehe pd is fun with alice and catlin.

was raining, and decided to take bus to station for once.
then changed my mind halfway through crossing pacific hwy LOL

was singing forever and always as i walked to leos.
-cuesong- 'i'm singing in the rain~'
no bec...just no ==

at leos i walked past maccers and saw adrian standing there.
and i considered whether i would talk to him
in the end i walked straight past with head bowed.
wat a coward.

on the platform i saw the others,
but when they were getting on i changed my mind at the last minute and went down the paltform towards the end.
funnily enough, after waiting a while at the back,
adrian came down the stairs.
he walked past too LOL

the macquarie train came,
and the txt said he was on it.
so i ran onto the train.

met up...even if it was only for 5 minutes.

on the train, i plucked up courage to plonk down nxt to AJ LOL (ew...it's so weird calling him that LOL)
i think he looked at me and was like...O_O tf.
but then he talked first so =)
he's changed.
in a good way =)
like more mature.
maybe we both are =)
it seems yr 6 was such a long time ago.
i wanna put it behind me now, which is why i'm glad we were able to talk so easily today.
we talked about yr 11 and peer support lol.
he's doing very similar subjects as me! xD like...pd and eco and modern i think, and 3eng 2 maths xD
overall it was nice =)
i wanna break down that barrier that we never overcame in 4 years.
it would be nice if we could become friends =)
edit: his voice is SO much lower now xD like...it was maybe even whiney in yr 6
hahaha good times =)
it made me happy.

i guess this is what they mean by one day you'll be able to look back on that and laugh...=)

Labels: emotions, life, nostalgia, school

yerr...

becoz of this shitty situation wher i get fking cut every night at 11:00pm-11:30pm,
i dont get the freaking net when i'm most active T_T

so sorry if i stop talking to you guys on msn like randomly,
it's just that there's so much shit i need to do before i get off...
esp these few days when i havn't been home on time a single day
yer...since the start of the week i've been getting home around 6:30pm+
monday was 8pm (Y)

-sigh-

ah
btw

posts for yesterday and 2day will come.

i'll write them up online then post them with the right date later (WHEN I HAVE NET AGAIN! T_T)

i'm rly soz T_T
yes i'm overdramatic.
cos most ppl shud be asleep by now anywayz ==;;
but yeah...you know me LOL

mum stresses me out.
she fking stresses me out more than fking hw.
kevin saying rly scary shit about he wudnt care if she died has got me FKING stressed.
its his temporary feelings but i'm actually scared he feels like that for real.
fk.
and to add to it all, mum's giving me shit about everything.
sleeping.
work.
late nights.
msn.
suss about random ppl on msn (WTF?!)
and lots of other shit.

i need a cooldown period.

~breattthhheeee~

k i'm calm.

ona lighter note, thanks to all u guys for making my life, just a bit better than the parental hell it could be<3

so until later~

<33

Labels: emotions, rage, stress

FK
MY
LIFE~!

every fking night is like a fking race against the fking clock to do watever i can with the fking net before i get fking cut T_T

FARK THIS SHIT!~ T_T

-bitchrantover-

;D

Labels: emotions, fail, rage, stress

In PD,
We watched Homer (Simpsons) vs Cartman (South Park)
LOL
i kinda admire Homer's motivation as a father.
it was twisted...and also like...not really deep.
but to a point, it was admirable.
Homer looking at a Gym.
"a...gime?"
goes inside
"OOOHHH...a GIME!"

fking LOL xD
Cartman: "Dolphins are stupid! Because they live in igloos!"
satirical material makes me laugh xD



i've given up on coming up with titles for my posts (Y)

last night i stayed up till 3 contacting books LOL

i'm weird. xD

woke up at 6:30 to get ready for combined choir.
funfun~ it's been a while =)
combined is always awesomely fun^^ cos we have awesomes there =)

oh did i mention my mickey watch broke? D;
well the centre silver mickey head broke T_T
as well as the glass cracking =\
dont ask me wat i've been doing with it LOL
but anywayz, it still works.
but i'll leave it in my box of 'standby' watches for now
i'm now wearing the black heart dolphin watch that grabs onto ur hand.
haha its nice to not have to twist my wrist 360 degrees to get to the time for once xD

got to pymble in time for the 7:18 train~
met alex on the train with his yr 8...friend?-ish LOL
i was doing my kanji practice,
and we talked about stuffs.
alex might not do musical this yr =(
will miss toto~
i was counting on him doing gavroche too =(

nts: don't try to write kanji in pen on a moving train ==;;

we got to leos, and the 290 bus came.
i got on to walk from nsg to nsb,
and i bet alex i wud get to jblock before him
walked, got there,
gg...alex was there already ==;;
fml~ =D

but i was early for once so all's good =D
lawls everyone was talking about les miz.
suvie talks to tristan a lot O_O
she laughs a lot louder too LOL
just something i felt like pointing out.

me and lisa-marie and sarah talked to ms daley whoc am up to fotocopy something :3
i gave her a hug >w<
see i hug awesome teachers LOL
apparently she's been sneaking into capa staff and will get in trouble for it with english head if they find out LOL
she's also back to 30% art =)
yayy~ old room <33
and yayy she's doing crew this yr too >w< cant wait!! <33

i was the only alto for 10 minutes.
very sad LOL
'1, 121, 12321, 1234321...' and so on :3
i'm so out of tune LOL

we learnt new songs that could potentially go int he anzac ceremony =)
i like 'the winner takes it all'
it's so...like...epic xD
well it sounds epic.
but the other songs are very <3 too.
the new beginning or something one was very like...nice too.
tristan makes me laugh xD
so does hugh xD
so does sarah the midget ;P ahahahaha i love dissing her ;P

at the end of rehearsal we were leaving, the julia collapsed D;
from...not enugh sleep i think? (me: shifty sweatdrop)
was worried T_T
butbutbutbutbutbut~
saw tristan and his face was so like...D; worried.
and i dno.
that was just so <33
like ngawwww
he knelt down and like asked her if she was ok and tried to help her up
(altho julia be strong and stood up on her own =D)
for some reason, watching this whole exchange was very >w< for me
even though i shouldn't be happy over julia collapsing D;
i'm not.
but
-sigh- i'm still so HR (hopeless romantic).
i still go kyaaaa over like <3 situations.
yeah i need to grow up ==;;

we were talking to ms moulton about les miz for auds
and LOL apparently On My Own got cut from the score for the school version
which is crazy
cos its one of the main songs
and wats worse
everyone's shitting themselves cos everyone learnt that one for auds!!
xDDDD
like all the girls who know les miz,
are singing on my own
including me, sarah, julia, lisamarie, and monica etc.~

haha gged

then we nagged ms moulton and told her to put it back in xD
even tristan was -mouthdrop- at it xD
tristan is passionate about musical ;P
he wants javert and valjean's confrontation put back in so bad xD

we then walked back up
and me and sarah talked~ xD

btw there were some new ppl at combined today =)
the yr 10 alto girl sitting nxt to me was very good~
-feelsshit- xD
oh and paul wasn't there.
i wonder why not =\
it's not like him to miss combined

went back to school and tracked down bex.
we sat down with majo who was clinging to me LOL
then i went to talk to em and mon,
and em was telling us to party as much as possible in yr 11
cos we wud regret it in yr 12 haha
em<3 we had a 'SHARE THE LAUGH~!' moment~ ^w^
even tho we had no pillow to boobsandwich LOL
we air-cheseted (Y) xD

at assembly me and bex found the others.
turned out they were sitting outside eblock exit.
wahhhh didnt know ><;;
-sighhh-

assembly was interesting =)
twas multitudingly (LOL) funny =)
i fking LOL at the twilight representation of yr 8 LOL
orla wat a legend =)

our grade's was a bit weird haha
we were depicted as...err...nerd rivalists?
lol at kylie and alicia tho.
cambridge txtbook LOL

for 2nd period i had eco with steffu =)
we have mr mac
i felt bad cos after 3 hrs of sleep i was feeling otu of it ><
so...
i dozed off for a few seconds sometimes.
thanku steffu for always nudging me awake<3
its probs rly annoying for you T_T
but thankyou
and according to steffu mr mac notices it and ignores it =(
that makes me feel bad
so after that my eyes were wide awake LOL
ok from tonight on i promise to sleep before 1am.
unless i srsly cant help it.
i dont wanna fk yr 11 up...and to do that i'll have to be awake in class ><
i need to revise wats the other 2 characteristics of wants...err... wait...i know what complimentary and changeable is.
ok nvm ><

nts: highlight all sheets for studying from now on. and in ref to that, put another coloured highlighter in pencil case ><

after eco me and steffu went down and took a look at musical auds signup.
wowww so many ppl now. ><

i feel so...like...wont get it D;
i can do crew if i dont tho :3

we chatted to cici and juhi from yr 10 about it and i gave cici tips about crew =)
also toalked to them about work exp.
i like those 2 =) they did drama night with us
good memories~ them dusting my hair with baby powder LOL
my hair stank up the whole stage that night xD
we had so much fun =)
i rly hope they do crew^^ or even better if cici (cos juhi doesnt want to) gets in cast with us =D
oh yeah i gave cici best and fairest award for our team last yr so (Y)
she deserved it =)

not much time left in recess
went to pd with carumen-chan and lenloe~
yayy ms polly<3
3 of us sat on table with catlin and alouse,
yay i remember to give carumen-chan lenloe and al the pd notes~

fml i just fell asleep for 2 hrs...now i mite not have neugh time to do potential work T_T
ah...an i could've sworn my eyes were open O_O
the whole time. SHOWER SHOWER~!!!
ok all good.
blogblog~!

we watched south park and the simpsons in pd =)
was funny
we were comparing homer and cartman's ideas of health GG
xD
eww...1000(or something)g of saturated fat per serving DX
miss polly is awesomes<3
have i said that?
i might've...
or not ^^;;
well she is.
she's very young and full of awesome ideas =)
i feel bad if i switch but...-sigh-
i dnoooooooooo

lunchtime there was accapella~ :3
first rehearsal of the year^^
oh and i just realised.
i'm in 4 vocal groups O_O not including musical, if i get in...
haha i'm so...like..
lame
xD
i cant sing for shit anywayz xD -offtunewailing-

extra curricular activities for the year (so far):
acapella
senior vocal
yr 11 vocal
combined choir
volleyball
coaching netball
umpiring netball
peer mediation if the opportunity arises O_O
D2MG if it happens?
errrrr.....Musical if i get in? D;
and Dancekool if that counts LOL

shoot~ hang in there T_T

anywayz accapella (Y)
we sung 'Candy'
it be a sexy song LOL
like the -swayyyyswaaayyyyy-
kinda song xD
imma singing contralto for this song,
and we dont do much LOL
like...2 notes every 3 bars?
ahshit...that reminds me
i gtota learn my part at home ><;;
-pianopianooo-
Lara gave out expired snake packets at the end of rehearsal LOL
they taste fine tho :3
but if i die of food poisoning (SO not melodramatizing here xD)
then you know what my cause of death was (Y)

eng 4th period was meh.
mr harrs is getting...bleurgh LOL
we already got some tasks and stuff
and we're writing about relationships and stuffs.
need to write a short composition about an important relationship in my life.

sabrina...leave my social life alone ==;;
can't i talk to ANYONE outside my normal group who doesn't ask about it first thing ==
that includes catlin too -sigh-
its getting old.
i'm dating. get over it.
gg

it's not like i'm sick of dating. quite the opp.
but
why can't ppl just...like GARGH!
i'm sitting in eng trying to decide who to write about
and sabrina yells across the room, with everyone listening, with mr harrs listening,
"Bec you want a first line?!"
-silence-
"he was once yours, but now he is mine~"
and this is EVERYTIME something remotely related to romantic relationships pops up.
it's getting frustrating
like
-headdesk-
-groans-
-facepalm-
==;;
i love sabrina, but like...
its getting...not funny anymore T_T

related material...2-3 pieces. -sigh-

maths was for the first time in...god knows how many yrs.
was
fun!

ok mebbe thats an exaggeration.
but it was pleasant.
i guess its cos i'm doing easy as shit stuffs,
but being taught by miss Lee actually relaxes me.
not because she's a slacker, cos she's not!
it's just...her demeanor
is nice
and motivational LOL
i sat nxt to maddy z and beryl (LOL in my class again ;P)
ah and we got our txtbooks~
they're cambridge
but look very like...not professional.
and not snr-ish LOL
cos they're thin and colourful xDD
but ah wells
better for storage =D

i think i actually took in the entire maths lesson for the first time in yonks~

lol anywayz

after school.
i felt...rebellious?
so when i saw sarah with phil with ness and a couple of guys i'd never seen before,
i crashed and joined their group LOL.
jason xu and john i think?
oh and ness's BOYFIIIIIEEEE! >D nathan. lOL
this is the first time i saw them together >w<
so sweeeeeeet kyyaaaaaaaa
i paparazzi-ed them incase u were wondering LOL

and we just talked.
it was nice.
just after school
talking.
not stressing about getting anywhere.
i had to go to officeworks anywayz.
so i walked with them to NS.
we took the bus from dominos cos we werent bothered to walkt he rest of the way LOL.
after we got off i parted ways with them~
and went to berry square

at officeworks i bought the little note-taker recorder thing we saw.
cos i have money after working now LOL
and also bought a shitload of medium-sized notebooks, all diff coloured :3
for official notes for each subject^^
i also bought a phone book and a binder grid book for maths, which will be a lot more convenient =)
so yes.

i impulse bought at officeworks LOL.
how
sad xD

after officeworks, i walked to greenwood.
and at greenwood i err...lol walked around.
bought something at kenny's cardiology -fufufufufufu-
and then a top and shorts at SES :3
i like i like~^^
i only have like one pair of shorts so was a need~ (not rly xD)

got on train from there and went home.

~~

i'm worried about you.
you've seemed really stressed out and distant and...thinking all the time
these past few days...
i wish i could figure you out.
even though you explained already.
it still seems a bit vague.
please D;
talk to me.

~~

got home and mum picked me up.
lol kev stayed back afterschool for 3 hrs (from 2:30) to 'watch bball'.
gg
how shifty LOL
well itcould be true but still wtf =L

while i was opening my note-taker, the plastic broke and sprang off my face rly close to my eye.
it felt like glass waahh ><
wonder if there's a mark.

yeah as i mentioned above, i flopped on bed for 2 hrs.
-sigh- gg

ah yeahh...gg
i ended up having to give mum and dad my report.
no use avoiding anymore ==
-sigh-

i'm tired.
but i gotta do work.
i've got shitload of stuff to do by 2moz.
well better get cracking =\
till nxt time~

Labels: emotions, friends, life, love, school

LOL phone prostitution xD



freaking yr 10 dance song now
now i know how annoyed the rest of the school would've been with us last year LOL
I LIKE IT LOOOOOOOOUUUUUUDDDDDD~!

kev forgot his maths books this morning gg
so i had to take his exercise book to school for him ==
mum insisted cos he did his hw as soon as he got it so... ==;;

i took 8:11 train,
and twas hot.
roxy came on at lindfield and was wearing stockings
i'm thinking 'TF! she's cold-blooded~!' LOL
not rly ><

surprise~ found out we had scram presentation 1st period to yr 7s
lol had no idea
lauren couldn't be let out of class by brauner
so i got to be granny~
lol joy~ old woman~ ^^;;
twas fun...kinda LOL
the hat/bonnet thingy was very floppy
and i couldn't see LOL
i kept lifting it up to try to see the audience.

had first jap lesson of the year~
got a shitload of handouts LOL
nina and christine like btch about mizoshiri-sensei xDD
i'm guessing they're gna drop.
if that's the case we'll be left with 5 people in the class LOL
gg
it's cool though.
we're in this tiny room (languages study room)
all on the same table

in eng adv, we be talking about relationships (Y)
LOL mr harrs cant spell.
yes
as in eng teacher. can't spell.
LOL gg
he spelt hierarchical 'hierochicol',
then professional 'proffesional',
acquaintance 'acquaintence'
we were listing types of relationships
then he said 'relationships with non-living things'
then i thought...vibrator
LOL FK
YES
I'M WRONG~! xDDDD

we have to come up with a visual rep for a personal relationship.
and then alouse said my earrings represented my boyfie LOLL
as in
has a bow in his hair and has 2 balls LMFAO~!
wtf man xDDD

as soon as recess bell rang i sprinted to nsb.
only to find it incredibly awkward walking through it when i got there ==
i tried to find out through nathan where kev sat but i ceebed looking for him lol.
so i dropped off his book at the office.
the office ladies seemed...i dno...dodgy LOL
then i went back out.
i didnt see anyone i knew =(
anywayz. yeah
was very hot
and sweaty
and
kev didnt even end up getting the book ==
frekaing hell

after recess we had a meeting period,
and ms melky talked to us about how we can't change lines and shit in our timetables.
lol yerr meh
we got talked to about camp,
and cabins.
-siiiggghhhh-

for the rest of the period we had a free (when we have nothing in our meeting periods its free :3)
we started talking about camp cabins and stuffs, but people were like...tangenting.
well when ppl had come back and stuff.
i rly wanted to eat my wrap (lunch) but everyone was like
'YOU JUST ATE'
so i settled for playing with it.
xDD
the shape felt so funny as i was tossing it around xP
and it was all smooth and lol.
carumen-chan gave me nutella~ :3
chocolate on a hot day isnt good idea but meh =)
hazelnuts<3

i then took carumen-chan with me to get my jap award at the office (assumably i got it O_O;;)
but the office ladies were like yeah u need to wait till end of week O_O
ok...
then we went to music staff to 1) ask about acapella (haha me and carumen-chan both in 3 vocals<3) and 2) borrow a pen to sign up for musical LOL
ms cleggie is awesomes too<33
i love how she talks. its just entertaining.
its almost as if she's singing when she's talking =D

and then we went back to group's spot.
and i got guguuuuuued from lenloe.
and it was nice tlaking to lenloe more =)
we had an entertaining convo, mainly consisted of 'guguuuuu's and -squishface-
xD

twas fun :3

then me and lenloe and carumen-chan started comparing our veins LOL
lenloe: this looks really cool...
carumen-chan: that's internal bleeding O_O
LOOOOOOL~! xDD
epic fail
ah and green veins look cool apparently xD

ppl then went to sport while the rest of us stayed for ext.
altho cath, weelay, caurmen-chan and lenloe went to maths
and I to english~

freney's not as bad as i imagined.
from wat i'd heard she sounded pretty crap teacher.
but she's not that bad =)
she explains things pretty well
(altho i fell asleep during the break betweek double periods, i wasn't bored. just shit tired LOL)
we talked about high culture vs. pop culture.
anywayz
yes
freney's nice =)
*the canon LOL

ran to the public bus stop just in time to catch the 254 with lenloe and carumen-chan =)

at the back, we sat with catlin
and we talked with hari~ :3
haha talking with hari is fun =)
she gave us heaps of advice on yr 11 and stuffs.
and we talked about musical^^
she's one of my fav yr 12s<3

lenloe and carumen-chan and hari got off at wynyard,
and is tayed on bus with catlin.
at th called doosh cos catlin told him to come to th LOL
but lazyass didnt want to so i deserted catlin lol.
catlin was disappointed that we didnt 'mwah' LOL
nxt time i'll tell catlin said mwah to doosh ^w^ ;P
catlin then met up with HER boyfiiii ;P

we went to belmore park (after ages :3)
and went to our spot =)

we bummed and killed each other for the nxt hour lol
spotto is fun xP
will have many bruises xD

i decided to dog dance jsut this week for the last time.
since i wud have vball nxt week,
so, i wouldn't be able to see him again on monday =\
so then~
i went home with him xP

leave my blue bra alone~ T_____T

took newcastle train.
and i slept LOL
i squished my eyes on his lap haha sorry T_T
on the way home from mac uni we were fascinated by shattered glass lol.
and spottos
all along epping rd >[
you suck
just cos u know ur street xP

so then i walked back
~~
oh yeah.
it was the first one in a long time.
underground, and before we separated.
i had wondered if it was gna happen again =)




but why do i feel like that spark is gone...



i like fish meat =)

ok beta get to work now =)

haha yay for msn talking~ keeps me busy^^

ja byebye~ :3

*nts: remember to fotocopy pd stuffs for al
*nts2: remember to get mum to fill out camp forms so we can nab cabins =)

Labels: emotions, friends, life, love, school

you know...i wonder if i'm being a bit too laid back

and somehow, i feel a bit...shallow?

it's just this nagging thing at the back of my head.
everyone's working so hard.
like, i'm working hard too.
i promised myself i would
but.
somehow, all the people coaching and studying extra around me is...
daunting

and also.

is my blog too happy?
i read over it.
and it somehow sounds like just a random journal.
there's no...insight?
it's all just
i did this.
i did that.
like...wtf man
T_T

maybe it reflects who i am
maybe i am just that naive, shallow little girl (ok not little ==;;)

maybe it's time to grow up.

Labels: emotions