Just no copying^^. That's all =)
If you do, i'll make sure u don't again -blink-
Swearing = ok (Y) cos i do it too ><
All work is original except for song lyrics xP
I take no credit for those at all~








Music Code here=)
GetItHere! lalala~ :D

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
January 2011
March 2011

waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
maths test over

maybe this will mean the start of blogdays.

maybe not...LOL
well i'll try =)

uhmm yeah cos i'm like cbbed like that...i'm not gna bother catching up LOL

just major highlights of the past few weeks:

snr dance: awesome night of highness :3
bellar, carumen-chan, shirley, grace, vivan, and bri<3
i've been more or less banned from nxt yr's dance cos of my delinquency so i'm glad this yr was probs the best one =)
despite dodgy music and such LOL

grace with her purple low dress and bellar with her sexy legs being hit on by pedos LOL.
me and carumen-chan and shirley freaking out over them LOL
we WIN =)
i wore the dress ig to from jap ^w^
and carumen-chan and shirley bought very nice dresses from market =)

BAHAHAHAHA
carumen: -smack's bella's butt-
bella: -turns around, narrows eyes-
carmen: -points to random guy behind her-
bella: -SMACKS random guy-
carumen: OSHIT!

ｘDDDDDD good times

kwan hung with us for much of the night =)
lol i saw winston...he was not in his promised singlet and shorts, instead in grey T and blue pants i think -fail-
but i didnt talk to him LOL

bashed Ike on the head again.
the noob didnt hit me back (Y)
now it's 2-0 biatch =)

carumen-chan almost lost her nametag necklace thingy
but we found it =)
<3<3

i lost part of my earings LOL
i lose all my jewellery nowadays ><

overall was an awesome night resulting in aching feet, deaf ears and hoarse voices LOL
wudn't have not gone for the world =)

Starlight Cinema: Joey, me, vivian, cath, bellar and lookyoung
haha lack of food win
at st leos park,
saw frank =)
and we all shook hands with him BAHAHAHAHA -random-
watched a guy scale the stage building xD
and said hi to aaron randomly...then he started coming over and i panicked LOL
and he knew who i was -shock- xD
papparazzing lukey and bellar,
then getting my ass pwned by luke for it xD

joey came late GG xD
and ramen shop was like jampacked xD
but we got food from the theatre place YAY~ =)
i kept dorpping popcorn down my top ><
oh and FOCUS ON THE MOVIE U DOOSH xP

vday was an okay movie
incredibly cliche tho LOL
and very -facepalm-

adult phone entertainer (Y) xD

latenight train home =)
awesomes~

another note: epping is now officially a DODGY STATION! xP

emotional breakdown resulting from:
1) jap speaking test:...i hate being compared.
or rather...comparing myself to people.
but 16/20 isn't exactly meetin my expectations.
yeah fkoff gg i know i set high stnadards for myself.
but i'll be frank.
jap's the only subject i can count on not to fk up.
so yeah gg TT
but maybe it was a wakeup call.
i should start studying.
i cant keep blaming it on her attacking me, or cos the test was fked up or watever.

2) ancient fail

3) modern fail - didn't get to conclude.
then someone tells me i should've missed out a point instead of missing conclusion.
great.
very reassuring T_T

4) maths...i fking fail.
was sure iw as gna fail the test

5) tutor coming (on saturday aka today)
to see if i'm worth tutoring...
apparently i wasn't even gna be considered at first cos i do 2u.
and then i freaked out cos i thot i'd be too shit.

6) pd...did i hand it in late?

7) english supplementary material
needed to read the whole novella again.

yeahhh~
wanted to go like hide in a hole, jump off a bridge or something
but thankyouuu for the people who were there for me<3
i've already mentioned you so =)

i also kinda broke my camera.
well i dno how it screwed up but...somehow the lenses like don't open anymore.
so yeah uhmmm...i'm sad HAHA
but yeah...will have to manage wihtout my paparazzi-ness for a while i guess
-cries-
meh =)
thanks to lauren for trying to get it fixed<3
yeah maybe i'll sell off the spare parts or something LOL

alrites:
friday and today in another post =)

<3

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school, stress

I AM CD~! >D

heehee havn't had much time to talk about it
but just a quick shoutout to Rina for her maths awesomeness!!
i love you to bits and thankyou so much for being supportive in maths.
i know my slacked-offness dusnt exactly prove as the best maths buddy
but
thankyou for all the good times and body graffiti haha
the boob you drew on my leg is so flattering T_T

and thankyou for today about inequalities and absolute values~!!!
hopefully i can do better now =)

<3

Labels: friends

I just finished reading 'With Kisses on Both Cheeks' again to do my english supplementary material assignment.
it's a beautiful story.
I remember crying at the end of it the first time i read it.
it's funny cos u'd think the second time round it's not rly cry-able material.
since u already know how it ends.
but yeah i'm very emotional nowadays.
just like how i started crying while reading carumen-chan's blog haha.
thankyou<3 you're inspirational =)
i really don't do enough for you guys...so i tend to try too hard sometimes to makeup for neglect of other times.
and sometimes...i guess the effort is ill-timed.
i'm not exactly a good judge for when to let go.
in that way i guess i'm stubborn.
sorry if it's excessive sometimes.

so yeah...it's been assessment week so i haven't really had the physical capability (considering i'm running on 3 hrs sleep on average per night) to keep up the blog.
i promise i'll work at it after tomorrow =)

speaking of tomorrow
it's the maths test.
haha as a few of you may know, i had an emotional breakdown for various reasons last night. (i think it reflected during vball training...sorry to steffu for being so out of it and stoned. spinning around in circles and shuffling wasn't exactly a great team motivation. haha i actually caught a ball i called going out T_T i'm so sorry guys~)
thankyou to those who made me feel better =)
shoutout to carumen-chan, lookyoung and my awesome bf for talking me through it<3
love you all =)
really thankyou...i couldn't get through these things without you guys...ANY of you guys in fact. everyone out there, you make up who i am.
and i hope i'm there for you guys like how you've been there for me.
pick you up off the ground just like how some of you have pulled me out of the ditches i fall into.
one day i hope i can become a person you guys can depend on, hands down =)
so until then...

がんばります～！ =)

and for now i should get bak to studying.
maths won't wait for me so it's my job to catch up ne~?
i'd better get off the computer.
i vow to stay away from facebook! >D

ja mata ne~

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school

一時間.二十分

心いたい



nan ka...tanoshisou.

ii ne~...

watashi mou...kiechau.

Labels: emotions

oh and change of plan.

bump it up to 2 hrs =)

-sulk-



hug anyone? =(



wonder if it'll get up to an hour.





why can't life be simple.

Labels: life

woooooops

i'm like epic fail blog now TT

sorry...
hopefully after assessments it gets better

but for now...i must return
to
my
ANCIENT NOTES!!!!!!
shoot shoot shoooooooooooooooooot -bangbang-
study study D;
dont wanna fk this up...
no i dont
TT

on another note~
to my imouto-chan
i love you. really.
i'm not worthy of your worry but just the fact that you noticed is very special to me.
not many people notice anymore.
you are so observative.
and thankyou for always being by my side.
even though i'm not always there for you =(
iloveyoumuchlies<3

MI-RU-kun (haha onli jap ppl wud get that xD thankgod u dont do jap)
go...dig a hole (LOLwhut)
haha.
you need to chillax man~
and thankyou too =)
but u need to look in the mirror for just a bit and realise who you're turning into.
please don't give in to that kinda stoopid brawness...
yeh?
yeh.
=)

and to a special someone.
you know who you are.
i'm sorry for being so selfish.
i'm sorry for being...dAmUnding xP
i'm sorry i can't be who you want me to be.
i'm sorry for being shallow.
i'm sorry for amking situations worse than they are already.
i'm sorry for 2 nights ago.
i'm sorry i turned out to be such a crazy btch xD

and most of all i'm sorry that you have to put up with all this and still manage to see something in me worth your time.

and i'm sorry you almost lost your bag at chats LOL
(DONT FKING SCARE ME LIKE THAT! >[ )

but most importantly
thankyou for being in my life<3

and now to my precious atom babies<3
i'm sorry i'm never there.
i'm sorry i seem disconnected.
i've been busy...and i never see half of you guys anymore.
some is see almost all the time cos of wat we have together.
but everybody else is so diversely interested (whut O_O)
that we're never in/doing the same thing together.
it saddens me.
so much i sometimes feel like there's a hole in my chest
because the warmth and happiness that you guys hold in my heart
just doesnt seem to be there as vibrantly as you used to be.
but i guess it's my fault too.
i wish things would go back to the way they were.
but they can't.
so i can only hope for the best.
it's weird...maybe i'm the least mature out of all of us...despite being the eldest.
i fail as the oldest sister yeah?
i love you guys.
no matter who you become, who you're with, how far you go, when i'll next see you. it doesn't matter.



i can't do monday arvos or thurs mornings for coaching netball! D;
plzplzplzplzplzzzzz let there be someway we can change it =(
i dont wanna coach matches only...

i'm in ko softball LOL
so randomly got in.
even tho i'm so shit xD

must remmber that miss achelly is giving me big sister/litle siter training next wednesday

pd assignment and supp material and modern 'The TERROR!' test and maths test.
g fking g T_T

SNR DANCE TOMORROWS~~!! ^w^
bling it on wheeeeeeee~

so for now i love you guys.
and i shud love my ancient.
in order to study it haha.
wish me lucks for 2mozzies~!

baibai~<3

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school, stress

oh. i see.







why is it everyone but the person i need most talks to me.
and strangely enough...it's everyone else who makes me feel better.

i can't always initiate everything.
there's a limit...no matter how hard you try.
a particular delta goodrem song comes to mind LOL

my chest feels heavy (and not with the physical weight there ==;;)

Labels: emotions

I CAN DO THIS~! D;



theres so much i shud say.
so much i wanna say.
but wat i can think of right now is just these 2 things.
ok well maybe a few more than 2 xP

1. To a particular friend.
i'm glad we're closer now =) i dno. obv our relationship's a bit twisted haha...but having you around rly dus cheer me up. no matter how much swearing and err...insulting our convos might be. =) thankyou for being my friend. you make me smile =D oh...and i hope you don't figure out this is you xP

2. I hate myself for thinking this...but you're a bit arrogant. do you do it out of pity-seeking? or whut...actually...-sigh- this is just me raging. i know u dont. in fact...it's just me looking for excuses. i'm so confused...about you and in general. about everything.

note: i stared at you for about 5 mins and you didn't notice me =D TT

3. PD -FREAKOUT!-

4. MATHS oh fkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfk yes i freak out this much abotu a stoopid in-class test TT oh fkfkfkffkfkfkfkffkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkkkkkkkkkkkkk

5. to my silver key pendant wherever you are...i hope...well i hope you r.i.p. our time together was short and sweet. will miss you =( i wud consider asking christiana in china to get me another one but...nah.

6. to henna and her friend. thank you for stopping to help me find it...even though we didn't. realy thankyou. it meant a lot to me =)

7. to the kind stranger who picked up my wallet and gave it back in one piece. i wish there were more people like you in this world =) thankyou so much<3333

Randomly-in-the-middle-of-the-year resolution: To do at least one Random Act of Kindness everyday.

oh yeah. who put the bump and lean on me in acapella and yr 11 vocal<33 i love singing. it gives me life. not that i'm any good but it's a joy =). thank you god for blessing us with the gift of music<3 and for good acoustics in the watermelon stairs xD

nts1: late note. GET MUM TO SIGN IT!
nts2: split the $20 note 2moz for school photos
nts3: KO SOFTBALL AT LUNCH!!!
nts4: get off fb and blog ==;;
nts5: don't be late 2moz morning<3

i know i havn't blogged in a while kiddies (i sound like carumen-chan LOL) but falling asleep at 5 till 8, or sleeping at 9 on a schoolday -SHOCK- might give indication of how dead tired i am sometimes. i'll try to keep you updated =)

until nxt time.

from the depressionally reflective bed<3

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school, stress

Labels: emotions

harlo to the world~

i'll post sometime about the past 4 days i've missed...somewaht TT

but in the meantime.

thanks to vincent for intro-ing me to Wedding Dress<333 :3

the song's so bittersweet...and it's beautiful.

(but i wouldn't go as far as to say it's ur life vt ;P)

Wedding Dress - Taeyong

TRANSLATION

Some say it's not over till its over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please dont take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress youre wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When Im by myself I talk to you like you're here
Ive felt so restless every night
Maybe Ive known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, dont take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come


The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress youre wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

Labels: emotions, love

oh yeah.
top 25 remix
is nice.

thanks weelay for intro-ing =)



oh btw.

from Sunday.

i got huggu-ed.
lol awkward.
i think i know why.



brainwave...does anyone even read here anymore? xD



Miki-chan mentioned something i had never even thought of last week.

oh...note: i met up with miki chan LOL
last Tuesday =)
CAPSSS<3 how fun^^ 'Can I suwatte mo ii desuka? xD'
we went FR with Brigitta and called ppl, and...Dan didnt recognise her voice LOL
wat a fail
bakayarou ;P
we went shopping at fob shop LOL
ngaawww i love miki chan<33
oh and brigitta's gloomy exchange student came...LOL.
we then went poporo for dinner :3
NO HAMBURGERS ANYMOREEEE~!!! D; -cries-
ramen<3
lol me and brigitta and miki-chan all swapped around dishes to try them out :3
staye dout till 9 in the city LOL
surprised i didnt get busted.
but yes
i love you guys<3
mata kite ne~ =) -huggu-

miki-chan is a gossip machine LOL
did you know akira and miki-chan were on bad terms?
did you know there was much inter-volunteer romance?
did you know... it was possible that I was reciprocated?

i'm not shifty. not at all. ><
the possiblity never struck me.
never
and now i can't stop thinking about it.

we talk a lot now.
and somehow...
i wish we talked even more.
or maybe i'm playing the role of the naive, deluded kouhai.
senpai...
nan tsumori desu ka...
sonna koto was hontou desu ka?
shiritai...
doushitemo...shiritai.
watashi doushiyo?

Labels: emotions, friends

go in asking for school photo payment.
get told twice about how good euni's doing.
how i should be more like everybody. and be a good student.


doesn't even remember what subjects i do.
thought i did phys.
cut.

Labels: emotions, rage

love story's video has been on repeat for the last 3 hrs ==;;

so fking tired...

eighty ate is opening again 2moz =)
Coffee...CAFFEINE~!!!! =D

face rape =) thanks to carumen-chan and rina LOL

happy 6mnths weelay and gary<3

pizza with bellarr~ <33
(kudos to shirley for picking up^^)

Rina quote(s) of the day:
*Sex is Art
*(Rina feels dirtier when she looks at my face than when she's looking at Dudu xD)

Mr Siu is so nice =)
i wish i wud appreciate him more.
haha
'I don't think you should go to your lockers'
or something =)
<33

it's been a while since we talked like that =)
E-block lockers.
Both so tired.
didn't wanna go home.

haymarket library =)

sea snail soup...?

wanna sleep...
wanna work...
need to sleep...
need to work...

oh yeah. must remember.
Luke's coming ns 2moz.
haha =)

Labels: friends, life, love, school

waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
maths test over

maybe this will mean the start of blogdays.

maybe not...LOL
well i'll try =)

uhmm yeah cos i'm like cbbed like that...i'm not gna bother catching up LOL

just major highlights of the past few weeks:

snr dance: awesome night of highness :3
bellar, carumen-chan, shirley, grace, vivan, and bri<3
i've been more or less banned from nxt yr's dance cos of my delinquency so i'm glad this yr was probs the best one =)
despite dodgy music and such LOL

grace with her purple low dress and bellar with her sexy legs being hit on by pedos LOL.
me and carumen-chan and shirley freaking out over them LOL
we WIN =)
i wore the dress ig to from jap ^w^
and carumen-chan and shirley bought very nice dresses from market =)

BAHAHAHAHA
carumen: -smack's bella's butt-
bella: -turns around, narrows eyes-
carmen: -points to random guy behind her-
bella: -SMACKS random guy-
carumen: OSHIT!

ｘDDDDDD good times

kwan hung with us for much of the night =)
lol i saw winston...he was not in his promised singlet and shorts, instead in grey T and blue pants i think -fail-
but i didnt talk to him LOL

bashed Ike on the head again.
the noob didnt hit me back (Y)
now it's 2-0 biatch =)

carumen-chan almost lost her nametag necklace thingy
but we found it =)
<3<3

i lost part of my earings LOL
i lose all my jewellery nowadays ><

overall was an awesome night resulting in aching feet, deaf ears and hoarse voices LOL
wudn't have not gone for the world =)

Starlight Cinema: Joey, me, vivian, cath, bellar and lookyoung
haha lack of food win
at st leos park,
saw frank =)
and we all shook hands with him BAHAHAHAHA -random-
watched a guy scale the stage building xD
and said hi to aaron randomly...then he started coming over and i panicked LOL
and he knew who i was -shock- xD
papparazzing lukey and bellar,
then getting my ass pwned by luke for it xD

joey came late GG xD
and ramen shop was like jampacked xD
but we got food from the theatre place YAY~ =)
i kept dorpping popcorn down my top ><
oh and FOCUS ON THE MOVIE U DOOSH xP

vday was an okay movie
incredibly cliche tho LOL
and very -facepalm-

adult phone entertainer (Y) xD

latenight train home =)
awesomes~

another note: epping is now officially a DODGY STATION! xP

emotional breakdown resulting from:
1) jap speaking test:...i hate being compared.
or rather...comparing myself to people.
but 16/20 isn't exactly meetin my expectations.
yeah fkoff gg i know i set high stnadards for myself.
but i'll be frank.
jap's the only subject i can count on not to fk up.
so yeah gg TT
but maybe it was a wakeup call.
i should start studying.
i cant keep blaming it on her attacking me, or cos the test was fked up or watever.

2) ancient fail

3) modern fail - didn't get to conclude.
then someone tells me i should've missed out a point instead of missing conclusion.
great.
very reassuring T_T

4) maths...i fking fail.
was sure iw as gna fail the test

5) tutor coming (on saturday aka today)
to see if i'm worth tutoring...
apparently i wasn't even gna be considered at first cos i do 2u.
and then i freaked out cos i thot i'd be too shit.

6) pd...did i hand it in late?

7) english supplementary material
needed to read the whole novella again.

yeahhh~
wanted to go like hide in a hole, jump off a bridge or something
but thankyouuu for the people who were there for me<3
i've already mentioned you so =)

i also kinda broke my camera.
well i dno how it screwed up but...somehow the lenses like don't open anymore.
so yeah uhmmm...i'm sad HAHA
but yeah...will have to manage wihtout my paparazzi-ness for a while i guess
-cries-
meh =)
thanks to lauren for trying to get it fixed<3
yeah maybe i'll sell off the spare parts or something LOL

alrites:
friday and today in another post =)

<3

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school, stress

I AM CD~! >D

heehee havn't had much time to talk about it
but just a quick shoutout to Rina for her maths awesomeness!!
i love you to bits and thankyou so much for being supportive in maths.
i know my slacked-offness dusnt exactly prove as the best maths buddy
but
thankyou for all the good times and body graffiti haha
the boob you drew on my leg is so flattering T_T

and thankyou for today about inequalities and absolute values~!!!
hopefully i can do better now =)

<3

Labels: friends

I just finished reading 'With Kisses on Both Cheeks' again to do my english supplementary material assignment.
it's a beautiful story.
I remember crying at the end of it the first time i read it.
it's funny cos u'd think the second time round it's not rly cry-able material.
since u already know how it ends.
but yeah i'm very emotional nowadays.
just like how i started crying while reading carumen-chan's blog haha.
thankyou<3 you're inspirational =)
i really don't do enough for you guys...so i tend to try too hard sometimes to makeup for neglect of other times.
and sometimes...i guess the effort is ill-timed.
i'm not exactly a good judge for when to let go.
in that way i guess i'm stubborn.
sorry if it's excessive sometimes.

so yeah...it's been assessment week so i haven't really had the physical capability (considering i'm running on 3 hrs sleep on average per night) to keep up the blog.
i promise i'll work at it after tomorrow =)

speaking of tomorrow
it's the maths test.
haha as a few of you may know, i had an emotional breakdown for various reasons last night. (i think it reflected during vball training...sorry to steffu for being so out of it and stoned. spinning around in circles and shuffling wasn't exactly a great team motivation. haha i actually caught a ball i called going out T_T i'm so sorry guys~)
thankyou to those who made me feel better =)
shoutout to carumen-chan, lookyoung and my awesome bf for talking me through it<3
love you all =)
really thankyou...i couldn't get through these things without you guys...ANY of you guys in fact. everyone out there, you make up who i am.
and i hope i'm there for you guys like how you've been there for me.
pick you up off the ground just like how some of you have pulled me out of the ditches i fall into.
one day i hope i can become a person you guys can depend on, hands down =)
so until then...

がんばります～！ =)

and for now i should get bak to studying.
maths won't wait for me so it's my job to catch up ne~?
i'd better get off the computer.
i vow to stay away from facebook! >D

ja mata ne~

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school

一時間.二十分

心いたい



nan ka...tanoshisou.

ii ne~...

watashi mou...kiechau.

Labels: emotions

oh and change of plan.

bump it up to 2 hrs =)

-sulk-



hug anyone? =(



wonder if it'll get up to an hour.





why can't life be simple.

Labels: life

woooooops

i'm like epic fail blog now TT

sorry...
hopefully after assessments it gets better

but for now...i must return
to
my
ANCIENT NOTES!!!!!!
shoot shoot shoooooooooooooooooot -bangbang-
study study D;
dont wanna fk this up...
no i dont
TT

on another note~
to my imouto-chan
i love you. really.
i'm not worthy of your worry but just the fact that you noticed is very special to me.
not many people notice anymore.
you are so observative.
and thankyou for always being by my side.
even though i'm not always there for you =(
iloveyoumuchlies<3

MI-RU-kun (haha onli jap ppl wud get that xD thankgod u dont do jap)
go...dig a hole (LOLwhut)
haha.
you need to chillax man~
and thankyou too =)
but u need to look in the mirror for just a bit and realise who you're turning into.
please don't give in to that kinda stoopid brawness...
yeh?
yeh.
=)

and to a special someone.
you know who you are.
i'm sorry for being so selfish.
i'm sorry for being...dAmUnding xP
i'm sorry i can't be who you want me to be.
i'm sorry for being shallow.
i'm sorry for amking situations worse than they are already.
i'm sorry for 2 nights ago.
i'm sorry i turned out to be such a crazy btch xD

and most of all i'm sorry that you have to put up with all this and still manage to see something in me worth your time.

and i'm sorry you almost lost your bag at chats LOL
(DONT FKING SCARE ME LIKE THAT! >[ )

but most importantly
thankyou for being in my life<3

and now to my precious atom babies<3
i'm sorry i'm never there.
i'm sorry i seem disconnected.
i've been busy...and i never see half of you guys anymore.
some is see almost all the time cos of wat we have together.
but everybody else is so diversely interested (whut O_O)
that we're never in/doing the same thing together.
it saddens me.
so much i sometimes feel like there's a hole in my chest
because the warmth and happiness that you guys hold in my heart
just doesnt seem to be there as vibrantly as you used to be.
but i guess it's my fault too.
i wish things would go back to the way they were.
but they can't.
so i can only hope for the best.
it's weird...maybe i'm the least mature out of all of us...despite being the eldest.
i fail as the oldest sister yeah?
i love you guys.
no matter who you become, who you're with, how far you go, when i'll next see you. it doesn't matter.



i can't do monday arvos or thurs mornings for coaching netball! D;
plzplzplzplzplzzzzz let there be someway we can change it =(
i dont wanna coach matches only...

i'm in ko softball LOL
so randomly got in.
even tho i'm so shit xD

must remmber that miss achelly is giving me big sister/litle siter training next wednesday

pd assignment and supp material and modern 'The TERROR!' test and maths test.
g fking g T_T

SNR DANCE TOMORROWS~~!! ^w^
bling it on wheeeeeeee~

so for now i love you guys.
and i shud love my ancient.
in order to study it haha.
wish me lucks for 2mozzies~!

baibai~<3

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school, stress

oh. i see.







why is it everyone but the person i need most talks to me.
and strangely enough...it's everyone else who makes me feel better.

i can't always initiate everything.
there's a limit...no matter how hard you try.
a particular delta goodrem song comes to mind LOL

my chest feels heavy (and not with the physical weight there ==;;)

Labels: emotions

I CAN DO THIS~! D;



theres so much i shud say.
so much i wanna say.
but wat i can think of right now is just these 2 things.
ok well maybe a few more than 2 xP

1. To a particular friend.
i'm glad we're closer now =) i dno. obv our relationship's a bit twisted haha...but having you around rly dus cheer me up. no matter how much swearing and err...insulting our convos might be. =) thankyou for being my friend. you make me smile =D oh...and i hope you don't figure out this is you xP

2. I hate myself for thinking this...but you're a bit arrogant. do you do it out of pity-seeking? or whut...actually...-sigh- this is just me raging. i know u dont. in fact...it's just me looking for excuses. i'm so confused...about you and in general. about everything.

note: i stared at you for about 5 mins and you didn't notice me =D TT

3. PD -FREAKOUT!-

4. MATHS oh fkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkfk yes i freak out this much abotu a stoopid in-class test TT oh fkfkfkffkfkfkfkffkfkfkfkfkfkfkfkkkkkkkkkkkkk

5. to my silver key pendant wherever you are...i hope...well i hope you r.i.p. our time together was short and sweet. will miss you =( i wud consider asking christiana in china to get me another one but...nah.

6. to henna and her friend. thank you for stopping to help me find it...even though we didn't. realy thankyou. it meant a lot to me =)

7. to the kind stranger who picked up my wallet and gave it back in one piece. i wish there were more people like you in this world =) thankyou so much<3333

Randomly-in-the-middle-of-the-year resolution: To do at least one Random Act of Kindness everyday.

oh yeah. who put the bump and lean on me in acapella and yr 11 vocal<33 i love singing. it gives me life. not that i'm any good but it's a joy =). thank you god for blessing us with the gift of music<3 and for good acoustics in the watermelon stairs xD

nts1: late note. GET MUM TO SIGN IT!
nts2: split the $20 note 2moz for school photos
nts3: KO SOFTBALL AT LUNCH!!!
nts4: get off fb and blog ==;;
nts5: don't be late 2moz morning<3

i know i havn't blogged in a while kiddies (i sound like carumen-chan LOL) but falling asleep at 5 till 8, or sleeping at 9 on a schoolday -SHOCK- might give indication of how dead tired i am sometimes. i'll try to keep you updated =)

until nxt time.

from the depressionally reflective bed<3

Labels: emotions, friends, life, school, stress

Labels: emotions

harlo to the world~

i'll post sometime about the past 4 days i've missed...somewaht TT

but in the meantime.

thanks to vincent for intro-ing me to Wedding Dress<333 :3

the song's so bittersweet...and it's beautiful.

(but i wouldn't go as far as to say it's ur life vt ;P)

Wedding Dress - Taeyong

TRANSLATION

Some say it's not over till its over
Guess this is really over now
There's something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please dont take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress youre wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When Im by myself I talk to you like you're here
Ive felt so restless every night
Maybe Ive known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, dont take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I've been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come


The wedding dress you're wearing
It's not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress youre wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It's going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

Labels: emotions, love

oh yeah.
top 25 remix
is nice.

thanks weelay for intro-ing =)



oh btw.

from Sunday.

i got huggu-ed.
lol awkward.
i think i know why.



brainwave...does anyone even read here anymore? xD



Miki-chan mentioned something i had never even thought of last week.

oh...note: i met up with miki chan LOL
last Tuesday =)
CAPSSS<3 how fun^^ 'Can I suwatte mo ii desuka? xD'
we went FR with Brigitta and called ppl, and...Dan didnt recognise her voice LOL
wat a fail
bakayarou ;P
we went shopping at fob shop LOL
ngaawww i love miki chan<33
oh and brigitta's gloomy exchange student came...LOL.
we then went poporo for dinner :3
NO HAMBURGERS ANYMOREEEE~!!! D; -cries-
ramen<3
lol me and brigitta and miki-chan all swapped around dishes to try them out :3
staye dout till 9 in the city LOL
surprised i didnt get busted.
but yes
i love you guys<3
mata kite ne~ =) -huggu-

miki-chan is a gossip machine LOL
did you know akira and miki-chan were on bad terms?
did you know there was much inter-volunteer romance?
did you know... it was possible that I was reciprocated?

i'm not shifty. not at all. ><
the possiblity never struck me.
never
and now i can't stop thinking about it.

we talk a lot now.
and somehow...
i wish we talked even more.
or maybe i'm playing the role of the naive, deluded kouhai.
senpai...
nan tsumori desu ka...
sonna koto was hontou desu ka?
shiritai...
doushitemo...shiritai.
watashi doushiyo?

Labels: emotions, friends

go in asking for school photo payment.
get told twice about how good euni's doing.
how i should be more like everybody. and be a good student.


doesn't even remember what subjects i do.
thought i did phys.
cut.

Labels: emotions, rage

love story's video has been on repeat for the last 3 hrs ==;;

so fking tired...

eighty ate is opening again 2moz =)
Coffee...CAFFEINE~!!!! =D

face rape =) thanks to carumen-chan and rina LOL

happy 6mnths weelay and gary<3

pizza with bellarr~ <33
(kudos to shirley for picking up^^)

Rina quote(s) of the day:
*Sex is Art
*(Rina feels dirtier when she looks at my face than when she's looking at Dudu xD)

Mr Siu is so nice =)
i wish i wud appreciate him more.
haha
'I don't think you should go to your lockers'
or something =)
<33

it's been a while since we talked like that =)
E-block lockers.
Both so tired.
didn't wanna go home.

haymarket library =)

sea snail soup...?

wanna sleep...
wanna work...
need to sleep...
need to work...

oh yeah. must remember.
Luke's coming ns 2moz.
haha =)

Labels: friends, life, love, school