Just no copying^^. That's all =)
If you do, i'll make sure u don't again -blink-
Swearing = ok (Y) cos i do it too ><
All work is original except for song lyrics xP
I take no credit for those at all~








Music Code here=)
GetItHere! lalala~ :D

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
January 2011
March 2011

maybe i am. but i'm sick of being moral-driven.
let me have my fun too.

on a sidenote:
Weelay is MY btch >D

Labels: emotions, friends, fun

Labels: friends, Thankyou

Labels: down, emotions, stress

suddenly feel as if all energy and optimism has been sucked away...

...maybe i shouldn't go tomorrow..=\

falling~








into a pit of nothingness.

Labels: down, emotions

3500 words...and done!
What a load of bs xD

Labels: school, stress

Yesterday nothing particularly spesh happened. Except for falling asleep upright.
Hence ceebed.
Will blog todays.

Got mum to wake me up early so i could do some of modern work.
Was gna go to school to do it but ceebs and twas cold.
So did it at home till 8.

Got to school.
Saw Nancy after her training.
She said I should push my team more or it would be humiliating for them to lose the grand final.
Spesh cos they're in the bottom snr div.
bleurgh~

Saw Bellar and Weelay and Shirley before the bell went.
Talked.
Weelay btching about Gary memorising Eng Essays for tests LOL

Jap.
The uhmm...other sensei was here too.
Poor Ruka =(
Mizoshiri pushed her hard.
She seemed sad and lonely...=(
Rumi was just nice and happy as usual.
We talked about holidays in Japan.

2nd period Ancient in B13.
Ran past and Mr Magic was like NOOOO WE'RE HERE! xD

Carumen-chan is producer for our Greek drama performance =)
Her and her awesome Gantt chart LOL =)
We assigned jobs to everyone.
I ish doing Prop production/helping with Prop List PLUS Photography =)
Hehe -shifty-
Stellar is assumed to be Medea (Y)
Ting and Wheeza are choreographer/director haha.
I kinda wanted to volunteer for choregraphing...
But Mr Magic wanted someone without a job yet.
So yeah...was ceebs to ask.
I guess I wanna direct one day...but...
I like acting ><;;

Recess went to see TEH HENSH! -dramatic music-
To talk about Deco for the hall.
Ceiling drapes...=\

Group was eating in the Gym (-dislike-...)
Not many ppl were there...
Doing random movements with Tina LOL
And heaps of ppl got CHAPpaties ;P (Spelled as pronounced xD)
Decided not to move...heh. ==
Ceebs to try for it.
And frankly...don't need to ==;;

Maths 3rd period.
Did intersection of 2 lines blah blah blah stuffs.
Not too hard.
Rina drew a lip mark on my neck.
Like a hickey LOL

Deco meeting at lunch.
Vicky's trying to hurry it along.
ARGH pressure ==;;
Why did I choose to liaison for Deco ><;;
Why couldn't I just be lazy like everyone else.
WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO CARE!?

Modern.
Finished off Anarchism and Napoleon quickly.
Hopefully Our Dark Lord won't find it too bs-ish.
T^T
-envies people who have the motivation to work hard-

Eng last period.
Messing around with Rina before Harrs came.
Ruka seemed very sad and lonely again...=(
Log didn't talk to her much...=\
T.S. Eliot.
Prufrock --> Prude in a Frock ==;;

After school.
Took school bus for first time in ages LOL.
Bus driver needed us to give him directions -fail-

Train home with others for first time in a while.
Al/Ally haha.
Ally wants to do 4u/4u ><;;
Crazy

Shitload of cheese afternoon tea LOL

Have to go out for dinner. -rage-
bleurgh.

Signing off =)

Labels: life, school

Well FML~

Have 9 bucks left on phone for 15 days...

SHEET~!

Labels: fail

I should stop wasting my time away...
Too late T^T

Labels: fail, stress

Where my people at
You in the front and in the back

Stop the beat lemme get a clap
That’s what I’m talkin bout yeahh

___________________

Today was very good for my self-esteem =D
Haha no Joey, my ego is still high and has not deflated xP

Last night spent till 3am just clearing my desk, closet shelves and dressing table.
Naoz all my work is categorised, boxed and shelved away =DDDDD
EMPTY-NESSSSSSSSSSSS~! >D
Also grouped all sheets from this yr into drawers in my box thingy and now folder is THINN~!
Feel so self-accomplished heehee :3
Chyeah xD

Woke up in time to go with Carumen-chan to go to Tucker st early.
Was earlier than Kev at the brekkie table; self-esteem UP~!
Got to Pymble in time for 7:50 train with a few minutes to spare YOSHAAA~!
So talked to Clara.
Haha we have interesting convos on the train^^
It's funny cos when she's early a lot of the time it's at same time as me =)
And a lot of the time we're late on the same day at the same time xD
A lot of the time she just punches me.
But tis cool =)
We're cool~
She reminds me of Al when we were closer...-sadface-
but a lot more agro xD

Carumen-chan'a train got cancelled,
And she mass spam txted me haha.
Got to Leos and waited inside gates for 5 mins till carumen-chan called me and told me to go outside, cos she was already there. xD
Was shouted flat white cos carumen-chan doesn't drink coffee >< thankyou<3
And she bought brekkie for Lenloe (Y)

Met Cath and Tina and Jojo and Alice and Wheeza (and...there was probs someone else ><) at the bus stops, and Cath said [later] that she noticed carumen-chan's dyed RANGA hair but didn't say anything about it haha.
We got on the bus, and I was spilling coffee on myself and out the cup the whole way -unco- Talked to Diwee, and we talked about Matrix HW
(SO AWESOME I CAN TTALK ABOUT IT NOW XD) and how neither of us has started unlike another ahem person.
-coughJOEYcough-
Diwee said Joey didn't try as hard at HW last term...or he was lying ;O

Walked to Tucker St, while spilling coffee the whole way xD
We got there early, and saw Dejian running to school.
Waved and called and he waved back xD

Lenloe and Kwaan came about the same time coincidentally.
Greeted Kwaan customarily (Y)...aka pwned/insulted him xD
And we counted down till Rickeh came =)
His hair looks very normal now .3.
And then just talked about random stuffs.
Kwaan's horribly bad writing...so he might be able to use a laptop for HSC LOL!
and Rickeh was mildly ignored =( -sorry!-

Then we left for school.
Hugsmacked Kwaan LOL

Back up to school.
And saw JAP EXCHANGE STUDENTS~! in the quad.
Thought we had Jap, so ran over trying to be friendly (chyeah right xD)
And instead turned out I had Ancient -fail...-

Legged it to Ancient...where Psaud [(still can't spell her name) ok spelling correct Persaud (checked school magazine just then...LOL SO BOTHERED!)] was subbing us.
And she was being anal.
And Foghorn had this hugely btchy face put on when Persaud was treating us like babies Compared to lax Mr Magic lol.
Mass highlighting (split between me and carumen-chan) and RHETORIC came up~!!!!
SUPER SUPRISED! LOL
(Only Diwee and Joey will get this...haha)
LIKE DUDE! RHETORIC...IN ANCIENT! GREEK DRAMA!

Yes i'm over the shock now xD

Oh and the juniors playing newcombe ball/vball outside were heaps annoying and like screaming.
Me and Lily went outside and asked Ms Seeto to calm them down.
She sat there.
dot.dot.dot... ok ==;;

Second period had PWEEDEE~
With sub...
-drumroll-
Seeto.
LOLwhut?! -sheet- Haha meh.
She was like bleurgh Txtbook work, urgh.
Didn't end up doing much of it...
Me Lenloe and Carumen-chan ended up talking about shampoos...and the bad-qual-ness of supermarket shampoos lol.
And then we talked about breaking ppl's spine/ribs in CPR, plus removing vomit and shit lol.
Scary business (Y)

Recess we...er...didn't do much?
Carumen-chan and Weelay deciding whether to go DK 2day.
Don't remember much of what went on.

Third period.
Jap~
Foghorn crashed our class LOL bleurgh xP her and her pro macedonian Jap xD
Mizoshiri somewhat rejected Rumi-chan =(
Gave her eng hw ><;;
We spent most of the lesson going thru dialogue...-boring-
Ah Maki sensei was there too =)
At the end, Rumi-chan gave us little luck packages with her deets handmade~!!!
with folded crane and 5 yen~!! <3
So considerate >w<

Talked to rumi-chan way into lunch, and dragged Bellar and Carumen-chan and Lenloe to talk with her! =D
Lots of fun trying to explain Awkward Turtle and 'Garage Chicken' to her xDD -patpatBellar-
Then talked to Lenloe bout stuffs =)
-hug-

Ext after lunch was so bleurgh haha.
Freney talked for a while about postcolonial stuffs and our assignment.
Forgot/lost my sheet so gg ><;;
2nd half of double period spent in library with rina.
To 'research'
-cough- ended up procrastinating ><;;
i mean even rina was so bleurgh cant help it xP
Found 2 useful cambridge books for both ext and adv (Y)
And another dodgy...'letters' book that i happened to just be bothered to borrow... lolwhut. xD

After school, Weelay and Carumen-chan ended up deciding to come =)
Consequently couldn't go btown train...=( sorry...yes you xP
Took city bus to Wynyard.
Looked in Priceline for half an hour.
LOL hairdye...-shift-
And dodgy twilight makeup...HAHA that's right xD
Only the packaging's cool xP
It's all so glittery and...ew xD
Blue mascara haha, guess it looks cool but still a bit tacky.
Oh yeah and fruity/coloured face mask packaging photos.
ARGH~ SCARY! ><;;
Oh and the gaptooth pinup girl xD
-sigh- want a curler =(
And also wish I could get highlights xP

BTW this whole time my whole body still CANED from the 20 min workout session me and carumen-chan had.
SO~...i was a crippled old lady for the whole day.
And had to take forever walking up and down stairs. xD
After that went to Pepper Lunch and we had dinner =)
Ordered Curry Chicken Pepper Rice with cheese and egg >D
Carumen-chan got salmon
And weelay got hamburger&steak =)
AND we all got ice tea :3 lychee peach and lemon^^
We are such Asian tourists...taking photos of random things haha =)
Talked about stuffs, twas nice. =)

DK~!!!!
>D
So many more ppl today ><;;
We were being retarded in the bathroom
And chicks were giving us dirties LOL
But there was a nice one who laughed...WITH us xD
Carmen danced in her school uniform ;P

When we went in finally found out from Weelay that the pro chick's name is Leanne...
AND SHE'S IN YR 10 AT ST GEORGE!
WTF! thought she was in uni ><;;

Anywayz.
We had heaps of fun.
Laughing at each other's noob-ness
Mine mainly cos every move ached xD
Rest of the routine's pretty cool =)
Can't wait to learn the rest of verse^^
We vid-ed each other.
And they laughed at me xP


Yes awkwardness with Leanne LOL

Looked at fob shop for a bit.
Then went to th.
Finally went home, got off with Weelay at NS to wait for nxt train to Berowra.
Talked about relationships stuffs and also Under 18's and afters.
Considering~

That's it for today =)

Edit: OH yeah...I fell asleep upright for 4 hrs xD

Labels: emotions, fail, For the LOL, friends, fun, life, Music of the heart, school

Please...I need to know...

Labels: Sorry, stress

___________________________________

Labels: friends, fun, Music of the heart

Night at the...Glass shopping centre with a big hole in the middle, where you can play 'running' monopoly... LOLwhut?! O.o

Moral of the Story: Don't follow herds of mini elephants into glass doors which close on you.

edit: In the next dream I was a scary parasital short-haired chick who was 'eating' out of a truck.
I had these things that came out of my fingers and I sucked energy from...animals?! WTF!
And I got perved on by some jap guy in a clothes shop...
Then I screamed at him, and humiliated him and his gf,
and ran out.
I was hard-core and really like prettily made-up...like NANA~!! >D (As in Osaki Nana^^)

Labels: Dreams, For the LOL

Labels: emotions, love, Music of the heart

Labels: emotions

Mosman chicks...i mean ladies...
are MENOPAUSALLY SCARY~!! T^T

Thanks to Rach Au for being supportive through the entirely stressful game xD
Didn't do too bad tho in general =)

Labels: For the LOL, fun, rage, stress

Labels: down, emotions, love

Doo doo doo doo doo doo kissing you baby~

Labels: fun, Music of the heart

Second day of school: SUTAATO

Was going to wake up early to finish off english...but failed.
Yet again.

Managed to catch 8:05 on time, hence no morning rage for today. =)
Was raining.
My shoes have a hard part hat just won't bend.
And it's digging into my foot.
It hurts.

Train ride talked a bit to Kev...weirdly enough.
But pretty much uneventful for the rest.
Got to school, and ran into Beryl and...someone I forgot.
Outside E-block entrance.
Ah yes, they were with Ike too.
Shifty look-ed at him.
-shakes head-
Lol.

Went to locker and dropped off PD stuff,
Then saw Alouse and Beryl again.
Talked.
About Eng. LOL

Went down and just stoned.
Until Bellar and Lia came around.
Both offered me their GJ iced drinks HAHA
Mango vs. Caramelly iced chocolate.
I took the mango xD
Then hugged them both :3
We went on to talk about...houses.
And real estate prices.
-weeeiiirrdddd-
And how my house was apparently richbtch
and Asian stuffness...
I'm not making sense.
Bell went.
And went to first Jap lesson for the term.

We gots out Jap tests back.
Spent the whole period looking over them.
SO MUCH DETAIL~
And plus, we don't even get to keep them T^T.
Only the Writing parts for Revision.
Still,
My marks were...satisfactory.
I could have done better.
With a bit more work.
I know this will sound up myself...but...
Being just simply the 'top' isn't really my personal best.
The marks could have been better.
And frankly...I'm a bit disappointed.
-sigh-
But oh well.
Shall study study study~!
Oh and at the very least, my speaking improved heaps from the fail last term, as did writing which I ran out of time for last time =)
_____
[present chime-in]
LOL epic insult battle with Kwan.
Ahh it's been a while xD
Freaking greasy-faced, grey-haired old pedo xP
[chime-out]
_____

Second period Ancient.
Carumen-chan was laaaateeeee~! D;
She woke up at nine -patpat-
Walked halfway in LOL
We did not much.
Just talking about Medea,
While we gathered around Ms Senthi's heater like a ritual LOL.
And I lay down
and Carumen-chan strung up my hair like...like a teletubby xD
So I walked around for the next 2 hours like a dickhead (Y)
Got the strangest reactions haha.

At recess stayed a bit with Carumen-chan as she organised Semi's stuffs,
We missed the DT4 PD meeting, so instead we went to the staffroom.
And Miss Polly told us about Yr 10 subject selection 2moz night.
They need promoters~
Originally thought I couldn't go cos of tute.
But consequently, have now found out Roger can't make 2moz night.
So tute is on 7pm on Saturday night instead. (Y)
So i can go =)
Was suggested we make a video haha.
Maybe =)
If bothered (Y)

English...
A lot of people turned out to not have sent it in haha.
Even Rina -shock-
And then we got another 11-page booklet ==;;
He never learns -sigh-.
But this time it's about T.S Eliot's poem.
Bleurgh.
Dogged the class for bathroom halfway thru,
So that I could ask Mr (can't spell his name D;) T (The supervisor)
for the hall measurements for Deco,
Then also tried calling Rocket Hire (for Deco Committee)
but the guy was in a meeting.
Got luvoed with like a tourist attraction by Jess lol.
And Alouse too.

At lunchtime, went to Art Rooms to do Deco Meeting.
Andrew from Rocket Hire called back.
And we tried organising stuffs.
But he wants me to send in stuff so he can send me quotes.
-sigh-
so ceebed.
Vicky wasnt there (Prefects meeting), neither was Lisa.
So we kinda jsut ceebed.
Talked a bit about it after we got kicked out by Profilio.
Apparently Rocket Hire is dodgy => scaffolding fell down last year.
But I honestly cbFed to lookf or another company TT
Kinda wish I hadn't done Deco now...-sigh-

After we split up, went hunting for our group.
And found them after a while in upper B Block.
-sigh- nobody told me.
Talked to Shirley, Lenloe and yeah.
Weelay and Jassy were trying to convince people to go Rice.
Am already going ><;; plz dont ask me anymore to go...
But yeah. I'm going.
Can't go to Fever if DK showcase is on the same day at the same time tho -sad-
Meh.
Will talk about DK Showcase in earlier later post (Y)
*O* TAEYANG DANCE~!!! T^T
Lenloe tried to fix my coming out hair,
but it failed.
So just took it out anywayz haha.
-freedom-

Modern in Library.
We lazed around for ages.
Laid on Bellar's knee.
And got groped...as expected == xDD
We watched the rest of the vid.
But fell asleep a bit into it.
Whoops T^T Wasn't intentional.
Gna have to get some notes off Bellar/Elaine D; sorry~!!

Hopped on to PE~~!!
ZUMBA WITH ANIKA!! haha =)
Year 7's chimed in.
SOOOO MUCH FUN~!! >D
Like...
Tiring as shit xD
But still fun =)
Anika makes it fun =)
Shimmies, and body rolls, and pumps, and BASIC~! xD
ahhh good times =)
Felt so unco though.
Like...SO FAST~! D;
Recorded some stuff for the video =)
Was being dodgy after it and trying to get survey people from our class for the video.
Nobody bothered -sigh-
Except for like Lenloe and Jenny -hug-
Bleurgh
Will cope with what I have.

Walked halfway to station, then cbfed and took bus.
Saw Shelmo halfway, but she had to rush for Epping train.
Made it in time for normal train surprisingly.
Eating soft serve -phattie-
Talked with Lauren about coaching and stuffs.
Then she got off at Chats,
So talked with Alice and Un yung (still can't spell her name sorry!~ D;)
And yeah.
LOL turns out they both know Yale. xD
Alice from Matrix Maths now,
and Un yung from old coaching school. LOL.

Walked with Alice home for the first time =)
Happy, have going home buddy now^^
Crashed her house because she invited me in xP
Felt a bit bad though.
Her grandma made nice cake for us =)
And we talked about ltos of stuffs.
Esp Uni stuffs, and schoolies and like International Studies specifically.
Then was gna 'leave',
but we got distracted by her photo collage in her room.
And we talked heaps more again xD
Their group is so pretty =)
And so like...poised and photogenic =)

Finally left.
Alice walked me to the top of her road -hug-
Hope to invite her nxt time.

Got home,
Mum discussed kitchen reno plans,
And asked about the design.
The cupboards piss me off.
But was too tired to really make any suggestions.

Ish capped.
Ish pissed. ==;;

-sigh-

-baka- Will stop w-ing =)

Labels: emotions, friends, fun, life, school

Labels: down, emotions

I have a 13 page english handout booklet I should be reading.
However I have lost the motivation, conviction, and willpower to do it.
I'd rant more about Mr Harrs' feeble attempt to make it look like he prepared hw,
But I feel like I've done that too much already.

I'm so tired.
My eyes won't stay open.

Neither will my heart.

Labels: emotions, fail

Labels: emotions, stress

Do I really sound like I blame you...?
I can honestly say I don't.
But don't worry.
It's not like you're reading me wrong.
Maybe I'm just giving off that impression unintentionally.
I do a lot less self-reflecting than I should so maybe I've missed my ugly reflection in the mirror.
If I don't seem to care, I'm sorry.
Maybe I should do more to make it more evident.
I should be more pro-active...instead of complaining all the time.

but...

I never said I didn't want you.
Never.

Labels: down, emotions, love

Today I woke up at 3.
I won't even try to deny it.
And.
I woke up crying.
Funnily enough.
My dream wasn't sad.
Quite the contrary.
It was random...and stupid haha.
Go figure.
I shall try to recount it...although the beginning is fuzzy.

Of the beginning I don't remember much.
Something about Jackson 5 in a Motown setting performing ABC.
Then after that, I was at Dania's house for some reason,
and our parents were talking about musicals. Lolwhut.
And her mum whipped out a hand-drawn poster that Dania apparently had made of The Pajama Game.
(Actually...For some reason...I thought it was Les Mis in the dream...but the Logo was of a couple hugging and kissing...so go figure which logo it represents more ><;;)

And then cut to two school-ish brick buildings facing each other.
Twas in prep for a performance.
There was a NSB/NSG building which the NSG's were in the top floor of (incl. me)
and the other building was of witches, from young nooby to old pro ones.
I think this was because I was thinking of Wicked before I went to sleep.
And how much I wanted to watch it.
Anywayz, moving on.
I think...for some reason, I had some unmentioned-within-the-dream event happen between me and one of the older green-faced witches, who happened to be Hannah, my netball coach from Yr 7,
So i went into the witch building, and went to the top floor,
where I found the first room encountered to be a room of 3 or 4 teen-to-mid 20's green-faced witches sitting down in their dressing room.
I peeked around the door and called out Hannah.
She looked up.
And I thanked her for 'before'.
Funnily enough, I can't remember what she did for me anymore.
She smiled back.
And I felt extremely happy.
Like I'd accomplished something/done something good.

I skipped out of the witch building.
And went to the space between the two buildings.
My mum and some other randoms were at the doorway to the NSG/NSB building.
And were looking at me funnily.
And in my joy(?) I span around with my arms out and sang to the sky
"BUT THERE ARE DREAMS THAT CANNOT BEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!!"
And got raged at by the adults in our building
(not that I get why...it was quite noisy to begin with so it's not like I was disturbing the peace ><;;)
I went back to the witch building
And there was a new sign or board thingy, which was like a 'Reason for visit' check-in thing.
And I looked down the list and one of them was
[box] 'Ooooo...that kiss was good'
I laughed and ticked it for fun.
The next second, and elderly witch came storming around the corner to me, looking very pissed [at me].
And proceeded to shoo me away.
And I thought that it would be funny if they did this everytime someone ticked that box.

And that's where it ended. =)

One more thing.
I went to sleep after the 4-hr long call with Carumen-chan (thankyou btw <3 twas fun and I'm sorry if I made you sleepy/late for tute today =( )
And just before I fell asleep
I was thinking very depressingly
Because I had been listening to White Horse,
Imagined him with either her or her.
And imagining the situations,
I felt like my heart could rip into a million pieces.
Am I justifying myself, by being able to say that thinking of a situation like that kills?
Or...
My mind is slowly disintegrating into black oblivion.

Labels: Dreams, emotions, love, Music of the heart

Labels: down, emotions

I'm trying. I really am.
I'm sorry if it's not good enough.

But I won't give up.
No matter how much it diminishes.
Even if you dose it with water.
Flames can be re-ignited.

Right now, that's what I believe.
And I don't care what other people say, or doubt.

Labels: emotions, love, Music of the heart, Sorry

Labels: down, emotions, Music of the heart

I just realised I have no confidence in myself.
No matter what.
I just don't.

Labels: down., emotions

gotta love the people around you at times =)
kudos to my dear brother for sending this to me...knowing that I love Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts, as well as SNSD xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcK7Y9VSs5M&feature=related

awesome animation much =)

will blog about DoE when I'm not feeling so brain dead haha =)

Labels: emotions, Family

So finished packing for DoE.
Yayy for txts that make you feel closer to a person.
Yayy for vid-calling that makes you happy.
Yayy for people who notice things surpisingly, even if not talk much.
Yayy for good advice.
Yayy for mutuality.

-sigh-



So yesterday I went to dad's work to help out.
Kev went too.
We were hauled out of bed and had a shitload of brekkie.
Then we got in the car.
And slept.
For the rest of the way haha.
Hence when we got to Lidcombe we were like raaawwrrr nuuuu~! T^T

Work in general was fun =)
got to completely take apart laptops.
And, to my utmost delight, we found screws with mini springs inside.
I took all the springs and kept them xD
Since they were gonna be thrown out anyway.

Harry (20-ish, arab) and Lin (mid-50-ish, chinese) were extra funny =)
According to Lin, Harry should be in a mental hospital;



Ahahahaha they're so awesome^^
Such friendly colleagues haha.

After taking apart the laptops, we repacked the separate parts into individual boxes.
As well as taping and labelling all of them.
Altogether we probably did about 150 boxes --> motherboards, keyboards, dvd-roms, batteries.
Me and Harry made lots of fun of Kev, (cue return of the 'Anti-static' joke)
And I raged at Kev when he stole my earphones and ran away with them.
Tried to lock him out of the workroom.
And then Harry suggested he was looking for a bed to stay the night now, because our dad 'wasn't coming back till 7'.

Anywayz
In general was a fun day (I think I've said that 3 or 4 times already ><;;)

At 5, Dad and mum came to pick us up and we went to Parra for dinner.
Although, first we visited our g-rents.
When they suggested we had fast food for dinner, (after coming all the way to Parra) I think my eyes like...bulged and widened.
That's probably the wrong description but bleurgh.
Then I complained.
But anywayz.
We ended up having Italian at Parra Critini's (I think that's what it's called)
and was SOOOOOOOOO nice
>w<
We all shared.
Fried potato starter with cheese and shallots inside, Rosa spinach and feta ravioli, veal with some awesomesauce, Garlic cream prawns, Caesar salad, and Romano (cream of chicken and mushroom) Fettucini. (I think I gained about 10kg T^T)
Kev sulked for ages cos we screwed up his order, but we made up by letting him order again later.
Oh yeah had a Mocha cookie Frappe for a drink too >w<
CREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM~!

G-rents left and we drove to Andy's house (surprisingly).
Andy was asleep lol.
Plus his room has been relocated to Liwei's old one.
Which is smallish.
Not used to it~
Anywayz, yes.
He was...embarrassed. And I don't blame him.
LOL Matt said he wasn't wearing boxers so I made sure to avert my eyes before the blanket became too far lifted up ><;;
Andy took a shower, and Matt took the opportunity to show us Andy's recording of himself singing.
SO FKING FUNNY! xDD
He sung with bleeding love and some other emo song and other stuffs.
We got it on my usb before Andy got out of the shower (Y)

We then crashed Peter's room.
Where there i 2 new TVs (Y)
and all piled onto the bed.

We started talking about Ruby and Peter doing shifty stuffs and...yeah LOL
Cos apparently Andy and Matt caught them once.
And then we showed each other funny vids on Youtube.
Andy showed us this one of this HK chick called Ruby dissing her teacher's eng, ironically speaking in her own absolutely fail english LOL. sooooo lame. xD

WATCH!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OLBHk1qWlA

Then Peter and Ruby came back
Twas like WOAH! yayyy!
Haha
And Peter was all dressed up like a fresh-out-of-uni employee. The look suits him haha.
We migrated to Matt's house --> I ran up the driveway (it's been a while since I was able to do that =) )
And so we started playing the board game War on Terror =DDDDDD
Ruby sat out to be the world bank and stuffs
Basically its a strategy game where u try to take over the world as either an empire (country or nation or whatever) or as a terrorist >D
I tried to take over Asia but my bro nuked me (WIPING OUT FKING 2 3rds OF MY EMPIRE!! >[ )
Yes I was feeling very passionately about it xD
So then I dedicated the rest of the game trying to bring down my bro's empire.
I almost turned terrorist LOL.
In the end Peter won (damnit) but twas very fun nevertheless =)

Today went city with Dudu to watch Karate Kid.
Was late.
Haha.
Movie was ok...but not as epic as expected -sadface- but still quite epic =)
And then we went Norita to play Jenga =D
And I epic failed.
Lost 3 out of 4. T^T
We also had Fruit Eskimo and takoyaki =D
And then I went to buy pie from Cafe on Wheels again =D
Yumyum mash and cheese sauce >w<
On the way to central when we were leaving we AWESOMELY ran into Wenxi and Zac and friend called William (who was very fail becoz he ran into another 'friend' who he couldn't remember the name of LOL)
They were hobo-ing it out in Belmore Park with FFXIII Elixirs and Cloud Strife Cologne!! =D And apparently we turned up at just the right time to take a photo for them lol.
They ish epic =)
Kept going to Central while Dudu raged at Robine for ditching him for 6 girls, and yours truly got raged for not telling parents she was going out to city (sorta their own fault cos they assumed I was going to Chats ><;;)
And finally left (awkward parting LOL)
and wents home =)
lif

Labels: emotions, fail, Family, friends, fun, life

You're so frustrating.
I want to like you.
I really do.
And maybe sometimes I do.
But then there's times when
I watch the way you handle other people.
And how...how you seem so committed to making yourself the most noticed.
So much of what comes out of your mouth...it's like, yeah so what?
But in the end are you really committed to anyone in particular?
I wonder if it's tiring being everyone's.

But I guess I don't really have a say in this.
Since you're not changing.
And everybody loves you so much the way you are.
I'm the villain here.

I'm as insignificant as they come.



bla.

bla bla bla bla...

that's what the voices in my head sound like at the moment.

Labels: emotions

-ding-

random.

it's been ages since my last post.
i have been removed off the list consequently.
and understandably.

-stone-

i guess i have no excuse not to be blogging now since it's holidays.
but
i'm just not in the mood.

it's just that...there's been so much going on in my head recently.
and
it feels like there's only one person i can pour it all out to.
funnily enough,
not many of you would be able to guess who.

i think i'm digging my own grave here.
-sigh-

the sky's dark
had tutor this morning
and roger was his usual awesome self.
haha with all his 'BULLSHIT!'
and stuff
he makes me laugh =)
which is awesome.
i should be more serious about the hw now.
and stop making mistakes.

there's not much to talk about i guess.
the thoughts in my head are stil a swirl of mess
and i can't put them in a sensible order
so saying it out loud is kinda hard.
i don't even know myself how to go about fixing all this.

Recently I've been watching hana yori dango.
and the 2nd season too.
and it's weird for me to say this but...
its excessive.
like
i dont feel the dokidoki! D;
or rather
i just don't like the main couple haha.
hanazawa rui for the win! -squish-

recently it feels like...
the people i enjoy being with most isn't who i should be with.
like
i should be paying attention to the others more.
but
what can i do.
it feels like...
there's nothing to say.
a void.
an empty hole where conversation should be.

ah it's raining.

yesterday
went to luke's houseparty.
there was me, steffu, carumen-chan,
luke, joey, daniel, anthony, matty, kerry, and luke's bro richard =D
somehow feel like...no girls bothered going. i dno. thot it was meant to be viv's too...-confused-
meh.
everyone was obsessed over robot unicorn attack.
haha
was ironic cos dudu had intro-ed the game to me onli 2 nights ago =)
and doeo-ed (lol azn dorito xD), and ice1cube-d
and
yeahhh.
played poker with punches while waiting for luke carumen-chan and daniel.
then played levels =)
haha
levels is such epic fun.
i was very silent tho.
but still managed to get pulled from level zero to 3 in one go buy matty.
dayum.
me daniel and carumen-chan are normally the ones who stay longest on level zero =)
like last time at carumen-chan's house =)
heehee i take pride in this game^^
in the meantime we were passing around green grainwaves, doritos and kettle.
anthony wudnt give me the kettle .3.
lol steffu and matty kept hiding the grainwaves.

we then went out for lunch at roselands (raindrop) shopping centre.
before going luke bet me $20 that i cudnt lift 40kg on the bench press.
i did.
haha.
So gg-ed, broke luke has to owe me 20 once again xP

me and carumen-chan swapped shoes lol.
awkward cos her boots were spacey xD
we walked to roselands, stopping on the way at the playground haha with the wobbly thing.
lawn bowls place on the way.

i ate kfc.
and matty and luke spent most of the time telling everyone how dodgy maccers was.
haha cos steffu had a not-fresh cheeseburger.
fiona glasses yay.
i gg-ed myself with wicked wings.

on the way back
we spammed the little vending machines.
the guys got a $1 bouncy ball
and carumen-chan bought a mega sour which she gave to richard who spat it out after the prolonged disgust haha.
the guys were throwing the bouncy ball across the road on the way back.
immature idiots lol.
and me and carumen-chan were screaming for them to stop.

when we got back we played twister which was...interesting to say the least =)
being crushed by everyone.
and how joey and carumen-chan both managed to stay standing up for most of their rounds xP
we then played uno.
which was very epic =)
esp owned when i had to pick up 8 T^T
and stuff....~~~

twas in all a fun day =)

oh and got the tent fly from steffu (Y)...now have to plan the food haha.

train home was quiet.
spent most of the time sleeping...and thinking.
parents semi-raged when got home.
for not calling.

i managed to get the banner up finally =)
(kudos to dudu for the advice (Y))
took me about an hour or two of stitching tho T^T
but looks good =)
wonder if ppl will notice...
the other posters are all up too =)
i sleep below cosette now^^
maybe she'll drop the books on my head in my sleep haha.

i'm sorry if i sound a bit stoned.
or maybe i don't.
maybe that's just how i feel while i've been typing.
oh well.
gloomy weather.
gloomy mood.
gloomy life.

going to watch karate kid on saturday yay.
and play jenga maybe =)
asian fantasy lol.
that's an icecream btw ><;;

do i have the courage to let go...

Labels: down, emotions, fail, For the LOL, friends, life

maybe i am. but i'm sick of being moral-driven.
let me have my fun too.

on a sidenote:
Weelay is MY btch >D

Labels: emotions, friends, fun

Labels: friends, Thankyou

Labels: down, emotions, stress

suddenly feel as if all energy and optimism has been sucked away...

...maybe i shouldn't go tomorrow..=\

falling~








into a pit of nothingness.

Labels: down, emotions

3500 words...and done!
What a load of bs xD

Labels: school, stress

Yesterday nothing particularly spesh happened. Except for falling asleep upright.
Hence ceebed.
Will blog todays.

Got mum to wake me up early so i could do some of modern work.
Was gna go to school to do it but ceebs and twas cold.
So did it at home till 8.

Got to school.
Saw Nancy after her training.
She said I should push my team more or it would be humiliating for them to lose the grand final.
Spesh cos they're in the bottom snr div.
bleurgh~

Saw Bellar and Weelay and Shirley before the bell went.
Talked.
Weelay btching about Gary memorising Eng Essays for tests LOL

Jap.
The uhmm...other sensei was here too.
Poor Ruka =(
Mizoshiri pushed her hard.
She seemed sad and lonely...=(
Rumi was just nice and happy as usual.
We talked about holidays in Japan.

2nd period Ancient in B13.
Ran past and Mr Magic was like NOOOO WE'RE HERE! xD

Carumen-chan is producer for our Greek drama performance =)
Her and her awesome Gantt chart LOL =)
We assigned jobs to everyone.
I ish doing Prop production/helping with Prop List PLUS Photography =)
Hehe -shifty-
Stellar is assumed to be Medea (Y)
Ting and Wheeza are choreographer/director haha.
I kinda wanted to volunteer for choregraphing...
But Mr Magic wanted someone without a job yet.
So yeah...was ceebs to ask.
I guess I wanna direct one day...but...
I like acting ><;;

Recess went to see TEH HENSH! -dramatic music-
To talk about Deco for the hall.
Ceiling drapes...=\

Group was eating in the Gym (-dislike-...)
Not many ppl were there...
Doing random movements with Tina LOL
And heaps of ppl got CHAPpaties ;P (Spelled as pronounced xD)
Decided not to move...heh. ==
Ceebs to try for it.
And frankly...don't need to ==;;

Maths 3rd period.
Did intersection of 2 lines blah blah blah stuffs.
Not too hard.
Rina drew a lip mark on my neck.
Like a hickey LOL

Deco meeting at lunch.
Vicky's trying to hurry it along.
ARGH pressure ==;;
Why did I choose to liaison for Deco ><;;
Why couldn't I just be lazy like everyone else.
WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO CARE!?

Modern.
Finished off Anarchism and Napoleon quickly.
Hopefully Our Dark Lord won't find it too bs-ish.
T^T
-envies people who have the motivation to work hard-

Eng last period.
Messing around with Rina before Harrs came.
Ruka seemed very sad and lonely again...=(
Log didn't talk to her much...=\
T.S. Eliot.
Prufrock --> Prude in a Frock ==;;

After school.
Took school bus for first time in ages LOL.
Bus driver needed us to give him directions -fail-

Train home with others for first time in a while.
Al/Ally haha.
Ally wants to do 4u/4u ><;;
Crazy

Shitload of cheese afternoon tea LOL

Have to go out for dinner. -rage-
bleurgh.

Signing off =)

Labels: life, school

Well FML~

Have 9 bucks left on phone for 15 days...

SHEET~!

Labels: fail

I should stop wasting my time away...
Too late T^T

Labels: fail, stress

Where my people at
You in the front and in the back

Stop the beat lemme get a clap
That’s what I’m talkin bout yeahh

___________________

Today was very good for my self-esteem =D
Haha no Joey, my ego is still high and has not deflated xP

Last night spent till 3am just clearing my desk, closet shelves and dressing table.
Naoz all my work is categorised, boxed and shelved away =DDDDD
EMPTY-NESSSSSSSSSSSS~! >D
Also grouped all sheets from this yr into drawers in my box thingy and now folder is THINN~!
Feel so self-accomplished heehee :3
Chyeah xD

Woke up in time to go with Carumen-chan to go to Tucker st early.
Was earlier than Kev at the brekkie table; self-esteem UP~!
Got to Pymble in time for 7:50 train with a few minutes to spare YOSHAAA~!
So talked to Clara.
Haha we have interesting convos on the train^^
It's funny cos when she's early a lot of the time it's at same time as me =)
And a lot of the time we're late on the same day at the same time xD
A lot of the time she just punches me.
But tis cool =)
We're cool~
She reminds me of Al when we were closer...-sadface-
but a lot more agro xD

Carumen-chan'a train got cancelled,
And she mass spam txted me haha.
Got to Leos and waited inside gates for 5 mins till carumen-chan called me and told me to go outside, cos she was already there. xD
Was shouted flat white cos carumen-chan doesn't drink coffee >< thankyou<3
And she bought brekkie for Lenloe (Y)

Met Cath and Tina and Jojo and Alice and Wheeza (and...there was probs someone else ><) at the bus stops, and Cath said [later] that she noticed carumen-chan's dyed RANGA hair but didn't say anything about it haha.
We got on the bus, and I was spilling coffee on myself and out the cup the whole way -unco- Talked to Diwee, and we talked about Matrix HW
(SO AWESOME I CAN TTALK ABOUT IT NOW XD) and how neither of us has started unlike another ahem person.
-coughJOEYcough-
Diwee said Joey didn't try as hard at HW last term...or he was lying ;O

Walked to Tucker St, while spilling coffee the whole way xD
We got there early, and saw Dejian running to school.
Waved and called and he waved back xD

Lenloe and Kwaan came about the same time coincidentally.
Greeted Kwaan customarily (Y)...aka pwned/insulted him xD
And we counted down till Rickeh came =)
His hair looks very normal now .3.
And then just talked about random stuffs.
Kwaan's horribly bad writing...so he might be able to use a laptop for HSC LOL!
and Rickeh was mildly ignored =( -sorry!-

Then we left for school.
Hugsmacked Kwaan LOL

Back up to school.
And saw JAP EXCHANGE STUDENTS~! in the quad.
Thought we had Jap, so ran over trying to be friendly (chyeah right xD)
And instead turned out I had Ancient -fail...-

Legged it to Ancient...where Psaud [(still can't spell her name) ok spelling correct Persaud (checked school magazine just then...LOL SO BOTHERED!)] was subbing us.
And she was being anal.
And Foghorn had this hugely btchy face put on when Persaud was treating us like babies Compared to lax Mr Magic lol.
Mass highlighting (split between me and carumen-chan) and RHETORIC came up~!!!!
SUPER SUPRISED! LOL
(Only Diwee and Joey will get this...haha)
LIKE DUDE! RHETORIC...IN ANCIENT! GREEK DRAMA!

Yes i'm over the shock now xD

Oh and the juniors playing newcombe ball/vball outside were heaps annoying and like screaming.
Me and Lily went outside and asked Ms Seeto to calm them down.
She sat there.
dot.dot.dot... ok ==;;

Second period had PWEEDEE~
With sub...
-drumroll-
Seeto.
LOLwhut?! -sheet- Haha meh.
She was like bleurgh Txtbook work, urgh.
Didn't end up doing much of it...
Me Lenloe and Carumen-chan ended up talking about shampoos...and the bad-qual-ness of supermarket shampoos lol.
And then we talked about breaking ppl's spine/ribs in CPR, plus removing vomit and shit lol.
Scary business (Y)

Recess we...er...didn't do much?
Carumen-chan and Weelay deciding whether to go DK 2day.
Don't remember much of what went on.

Third period.
Jap~
Foghorn crashed our class LOL bleurgh xP her and her pro macedonian Jap xD
Mizoshiri somewhat rejected Rumi-chan =(
Gave her eng hw ><;;
We spent most of the lesson going thru dialogue...-boring-
Ah Maki sensei was there too =)
At the end, Rumi-chan gave us little luck packages with her deets handmade~!!!
with folded crane and 5 yen~!! <3
So considerate >w<

Talked to rumi-chan way into lunch, and dragged Bellar and Carumen-chan and Lenloe to talk with her! =D
Lots of fun trying to explain Awkward Turtle and 'Garage Chicken' to her xDD -patpatBellar-
Then talked to Lenloe bout stuffs =)
-hug-

Ext after lunch was so bleurgh haha.
Freney talked for a while about postcolonial stuffs and our assignment.
Forgot/lost my sheet so gg ><;;
2nd half of double period spent in library with rina.
To 'research'
-cough- ended up procrastinating ><;;
i mean even rina was so bleurgh cant help it xP
Found 2 useful cambridge books for both ext and adv (Y)
And another dodgy...'letters' book that i happened to just be bothered to borrow... lolwhut. xD

After school, Weelay and Carumen-chan ended up deciding to come =)
Consequently couldn't go btown train...=( sorry...yes you xP
Took city bus to Wynyard.
Looked in Priceline for half an hour.
LOL hairdye...-shift-
And dodgy twilight makeup...HAHA that's right xD
Only the packaging's cool xP
It's all so glittery and...ew xD
Blue mascara haha, guess it looks cool but still a bit tacky.
Oh yeah and fruity/coloured face mask packaging photos.
ARGH~ SCARY! ><;;
Oh and the gaptooth pinup girl xD
-sigh- want a curler =(
And also wish I could get highlights xP

BTW this whole time my whole body still CANED from the 20 min workout session me and carumen-chan had.
SO~...i was a crippled old lady for the whole day.
And had to take forever walking up and down stairs. xD
After that went to Pepper Lunch and we had dinner =)
Ordered Curry Chicken Pepper Rice with cheese and egg >D
Carumen-chan got salmon
And weelay got hamburger&steak =)
AND we all got ice tea :3 lychee peach and lemon^^
We are such Asian tourists...taking photos of random things haha =)
Talked about stuffs, twas nice. =)

DK~!!!!
>D
So many more ppl today ><;;
We were being retarded in the bathroom
And chicks were giving us dirties LOL
But there was a nice one who laughed...WITH us xD
Carmen danced in her school uniform ;P

When we went in finally found out from Weelay that the pro chick's name is Leanne...
AND SHE'S IN YR 10 AT ST GEORGE!
WTF! thought she was in uni ><;;

Anywayz.
We had heaps of fun.
Laughing at each other's noob-ness
Mine mainly cos every move ached xD
Rest of the routine's pretty cool =)
Can't wait to learn the rest of verse^^
We vid-ed each other.
And they laughed at me xP


Yes awkwardness with Leanne LOL

Looked at fob shop for a bit.
Then went to th.
Finally went home, got off with Weelay at NS to wait for nxt train to Berowra.
Talked about relationships stuffs and also Under 18's and afters.
Considering~

That's it for today =)

Edit: OH yeah...I fell asleep upright for 4 hrs xD

Labels: emotions, fail, For the LOL, friends, fun, life, Music of the heart, school

Please...I need to know...

Labels: Sorry, stress

___________________________________

Labels: friends, fun, Music of the heart

Night at the...Glass shopping centre with a big hole in the middle, where you can play 'running' monopoly... LOLwhut?! O.o

Moral of the Story: Don't follow herds of mini elephants into glass doors which close on you.

edit: In the next dream I was a scary parasital short-haired chick who was 'eating' out of a truck.
I had these things that came out of my fingers and I sucked energy from...animals?! WTF!
And I got perved on by some jap guy in a clothes shop...
Then I screamed at him, and humiliated him and his gf,
and ran out.
I was hard-core and really like prettily made-up...like NANA~!! >D (As in Osaki Nana^^)

Labels: Dreams, For the LOL

Labels: emotions, love, Music of the heart

Labels: emotions

Mosman chicks...i mean ladies...
are MENOPAUSALLY SCARY~!! T^T

Thanks to Rach Au for being supportive through the entirely stressful game xD
Didn't do too bad tho in general =)

Labels: For the LOL, fun, rage, stress

Labels: down, emotions, love

Doo doo doo doo doo doo kissing you baby~

Labels: fun, Music of the heart

Second day of school: SUTAATO

Was going to wake up early to finish off english...but failed.
Yet again.

Managed to catch 8:05 on time, hence no morning rage for today. =)
Was raining.
My shoes have a hard part hat just won't bend.
And it's digging into my foot.
It hurts.

Train ride talked a bit to Kev...weirdly enough.
But pretty much uneventful for the rest.
Got to school, and ran into Beryl and...someone I forgot.
Outside E-block entrance.
Ah yes, they were with Ike too.
Shifty look-ed at him.
-shakes head-
Lol.

Went to locker and dropped off PD stuff,
Then saw Alouse and Beryl again.
Talked.
About Eng. LOL

Went down and just stoned.
Until Bellar and Lia came around.
Both offered me their GJ iced drinks HAHA
Mango vs. Caramelly iced chocolate.
I took the mango xD
Then hugged them both :3
We went on to talk about...houses.
And real estate prices.
-weeeiiirrdddd-
And how my house was apparently richbtch
and Asian stuffness...
I'm not making sense.
Bell went.
And went to first Jap lesson for the term.

We gots out Jap tests back.
Spent the whole period looking over them.
SO MUCH DETAIL~
And plus, we don't even get to keep them T^T.
Only the Writing parts for Revision.
Still,
My marks were...satisfactory.
I could have done better.
With a bit more work.
I know this will sound up myself...but...
Being just simply the 'top' isn't really my personal best.
The marks could have been better.
And frankly...I'm a bit disappointed.
-sigh-
But oh well.
Shall study study study~!
Oh and at the very least, my speaking improved heaps from the fail last term, as did writing which I ran out of time for last time =)
_____
[present chime-in]
LOL epic insult battle with Kwan.
Ahh it's been a while xD
Freaking greasy-faced, grey-haired old pedo xP
[chime-out]
_____

Second period Ancient.
Carumen-chan was laaaateeeee~! D;
She woke up at nine -patpat-
Walked halfway in LOL
We did not much.
Just talking about Medea,
While we gathered around Ms Senthi's heater like a ritual LOL.
And I lay down
and Carumen-chan strung up my hair like...like a teletubby xD
So I walked around for the next 2 hours like a dickhead (Y)
Got the strangest reactions haha.

At recess stayed a bit with Carumen-chan as she organised Semi's stuffs,
We missed the DT4 PD meeting, so instead we went to the staffroom.
And Miss Polly told us about Yr 10 subject selection 2moz night.
They need promoters~
Originally thought I couldn't go cos of tute.
But consequently, have now found out Roger can't make 2moz night.
So tute is on 7pm on Saturday night instead. (Y)
So i can go =)
Was suggested we make a video haha.
Maybe =)
If bothered (Y)

English...
A lot of people turned out to not have sent it in haha.
Even Rina -shock-
And then we got another 11-page booklet ==;;
He never learns -sigh-.
But this time it's about T.S Eliot's poem.
Bleurgh.
Dogged the class for bathroom halfway thru,
So that I could ask Mr (can't spell his name D;) T (The supervisor)
for the hall measurements for Deco,
Then also tried calling Rocket Hire (for Deco Committee)
but the guy was in a meeting.
Got luvoed with like a tourist attraction by Jess lol.
And Alouse too.

At lunchtime, went to Art Rooms to do Deco Meeting.
Andrew from Rocket Hire called back.
And we tried organising stuffs.
But he wants me to send in stuff so he can send me quotes.
-sigh-
so ceebed.
Vicky wasnt there (Prefects meeting), neither was Lisa.
So we kinda jsut ceebed.
Talked a bit about it after we got kicked out by Profilio.
Apparently Rocket Hire is dodgy => scaffolding fell down last year.
But I honestly cbFed to lookf or another company TT
Kinda wish I hadn't done Deco now...-sigh-

After we split up, went hunting for our group.
And found them after a while in upper B Block.
-sigh- nobody told me.
Talked to Shirley, Lenloe and yeah.
Weelay and Jassy were trying to convince people to go Rice.
Am already going ><;; plz dont ask me anymore to go...
But yeah. I'm going.
Can't go to Fever if DK showcase is on the same day at the same time tho -sad-
Meh.
Will talk about DK Showcase in earlier later post (Y)
*O* TAEYANG DANCE~!!! T^T
Lenloe tried to fix my coming out hair,
but it failed.
So just took it out anywayz haha.
-freedom-

Modern in Library.
We lazed around for ages.
Laid on Bellar's knee.
And got groped...as expected == xDD
We watched the rest of the vid.
But fell asleep a bit into it.
Whoops T^T Wasn't intentional.
Gna have to get some notes off Bellar/Elaine D; sorry~!!

Hopped on to PE~~!!
ZUMBA WITH ANIKA!! haha =)
Year 7's chimed in.
SOOOO MUCH FUN~!! >D
Like...
Tiring as shit xD
But still fun =)
Anika makes it fun =)
Shimmies, and body rolls, and pumps, and BASIC~! xD
ahhh good times =)
Felt so unco though.
Like...SO FAST~! D;
Recorded some stuff for the video =)
Was being dodgy after it and trying to get survey people from our class for the video.
Nobody bothered -sigh-
Except for like Lenloe and Jenny -hug-
Bleurgh
Will cope with what I have.

Walked halfway to station, then cbfed and took bus.
Saw Shelmo halfway, but she had to rush for Epping train.
Made it in time for normal train surprisingly.
Eating soft serve -phattie-
Talked with Lauren about coaching and stuffs.
Then she got off at Chats,
So talked with Alice and Un yung (still can't spell her name sorry!~ D;)
And yeah.
LOL turns out they both know Yale. xD
Alice from Matrix Maths now,
and Un yung from old coaching school. LOL.

Walked with Alice home for the first time =)
Happy, have going home buddy now^^
Crashed her house because she invited me in xP
Felt a bit bad though.
Her grandma made nice cake for us =)
And we talked about ltos of stuffs.
Esp Uni stuffs, and schoolies and like International Studies specifically.
Then was gna 'leave',
but we got distracted by her photo collage in her room.
And we talked heaps more again xD
Their group is so pretty =)
And so like...poised and photogenic =)

Finally left.
Alice walked me to the top of her road -hug-
Hope to invite her nxt time.

Got home,
Mum discussed kitchen reno plans,
And asked about the design.
The cupboards piss me off.
But was too tired to really make any suggestions.

Ish capped.
Ish pissed. ==;;

-sigh-

-baka- Will stop w-ing =)

Labels: emotions, friends, fun, life, school

Labels: down, emotions

I have a 13 page english handout booklet I should be reading.
However I have lost the motivation, conviction, and willpower to do it.
I'd rant more about Mr Harrs' feeble attempt to make it look like he prepared hw,
But I feel like I've done that too much already.

I'm so tired.
My eyes won't stay open.

Neither will my heart.

Labels: emotions, fail

Labels: emotions, stress

Do I really sound like I blame you...?
I can honestly say I don't.
But don't worry.
It's not like you're reading me wrong.
Maybe I'm just giving off that impression unintentionally.
I do a lot less self-reflecting than I should so maybe I've missed my ugly reflection in the mirror.
If I don't seem to care, I'm sorry.
Maybe I should do more to make it more evident.
I should be more pro-active...instead of complaining all the time.

but...

I never said I didn't want you.
Never.

Labels: down, emotions, love

Today I woke up at 3.
I won't even try to deny it.
And.
I woke up crying.
Funnily enough.
My dream wasn't sad.
Quite the contrary.
It was random...and stupid haha.
Go figure.
I shall try to recount it...although the beginning is fuzzy.

Of the beginning I don't remember much.
Something about Jackson 5 in a Motown setting performing ABC.
Then after that, I was at Dania's house for some reason,
and our parents were talking about musicals. Lolwhut.
And her mum whipped out a hand-drawn poster that Dania apparently had made of The Pajama Game.
(Actually...For some reason...I thought it was Les Mis in the dream...but the Logo was of a couple hugging and kissing...so go figure which logo it represents more ><;;)

And then cut to two school-ish brick buildings facing each other.
Twas in prep for a performance.
There was a NSB/NSG building which the NSG's were in the top floor of (incl. me)
and the other building was of witches, from young nooby to old pro ones.
I think this was because I was thinking of Wicked before I went to sleep.
And how much I wanted to watch it.
Anywayz, moving on.
I think...for some reason, I had some unmentioned-within-the-dream event happen between me and one of the older green-faced witches, who happened to be Hannah, my netball coach from Yr 7,
So i went into the witch building, and went to the top floor,
where I found the first room encountered to be a room of 3 or 4 teen-to-mid 20's green-faced witches sitting down in their dressing room.
I peeked around the door and called out Hannah.
She looked up.
And I thanked her for 'before'.
Funnily enough, I can't remember what she did for me anymore.
She smiled back.
And I felt extremely happy.
Like I'd accomplished something/done something good.

I skipped out of the witch building.
And went to the space between the two buildings.
My mum and some other randoms were at the doorway to the NSG/NSB building.
And were looking at me funnily.
And in my joy(?) I span around with my arms out and sang to the sky
"BUT THERE ARE DREAMS THAT CANNOT BEEEEEEEEEEEEE~!!!"
And got raged at by the adults in our building
(not that I get why...it was quite noisy to begin with so it's not like I was disturbing the peace ><;;)
I went back to the witch building
And there was a new sign or board thingy, which was like a 'Reason for visit' check-in thing.
And I looked down the list and one of them was
[box] 'Ooooo...that kiss was good'
I laughed and ticked it for fun.
The next second, and elderly witch came storming around the corner to me, looking very pissed [at me].
And proceeded to shoo me away.
And I thought that it would be funny if they did this everytime someone ticked that box.

And that's where it ended. =)

One more thing.
I went to sleep after the 4-hr long call with Carumen-chan (thankyou btw <3 twas fun and I'm sorry if I made you sleepy/late for tute today =( )
And just before I fell asleep
I was thinking very depressingly
Because I had been listening to White Horse,
Imagined him with either her or her.
And imagining the situations,
I felt like my heart could rip into a million pieces.
Am I justifying myself, by being able to say that thinking of a situation like that kills?
Or...
My mind is slowly disintegrating into black oblivion.

Labels: Dreams, emotions, love, Music of the heart

Labels: down, emotions

I'm trying. I really am.
I'm sorry if it's not good enough.

But I won't give up.
No matter how much it diminishes.
Even if you dose it with water.
Flames can be re-ignited.

Right now, that's what I believe.
And I don't care what other people say, or doubt.

Labels: emotions, love, Music of the heart, Sorry

Labels: down, emotions, Music of the heart

I just realised I have no confidence in myself.
No matter what.
I just don't.

Labels: down., emotions

gotta love the people around you at times =)
kudos to my dear brother for sending this to me...knowing that I love Final Fantasy/Kingdom Hearts, as well as SNSD xD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcK7Y9VSs5M&feature=related

awesome animation much =)

will blog about DoE when I'm not feeling so brain dead haha =)

Labels: emotions, Family

So finished packing for DoE.
Yayy for txts that make you feel closer to a person.
Yayy for vid-calling that makes you happy.
Yayy for people who notice things surpisingly, even if not talk much.
Yayy for good advice.
Yayy for mutuality.

-sigh-



So yesterday I went to dad's work to help out.
Kev went too.
We were hauled out of bed and had a shitload of brekkie.
Then we got in the car.
And slept.
For the rest of the way haha.
Hence when we got to Lidcombe we were like raaawwrrr nuuuu~! T^T

Work in general was fun =)
got to completely take apart laptops.
And, to my utmost delight, we found screws with mini springs inside.
I took all the springs and kept them xD
Since they were gonna be thrown out anyway.

Harry (20-ish, arab) and Lin (mid-50-ish, chinese) were extra funny =)
According to Lin, Harry should be in a mental hospital;



Ahahahaha they're so awesome^^
Such friendly colleagues haha.

After taking apart the laptops, we repacked the separate parts into individual boxes.
As well as taping and labelling all of them.
Altogether we probably did about 150 boxes --> motherboards, keyboards, dvd-roms, batteries.
Me and Harry made lots of fun of Kev, (cue return of the 'Anti-static' joke)
And I raged at Kev when he stole my earphones and ran away with them.
Tried to lock him out of the workroom.
And then Harry suggested he was looking for a bed to stay the night now, because our dad 'wasn't coming back till 7'.

Anywayz
In general was a fun day (I think I've said that 3 or 4 times already ><;;)

At 5, Dad and mum came to pick us up and we went to Parra for dinner.
Although, first we visited our g-rents.
When they suggested we had fast food for dinner, (after coming all the way to Parra) I think my eyes like...bulged and widened.
That's probably the wrong description but bleurgh.
Then I complained.
But anywayz.
We ended up having Italian at Parra Critini's (I think that's what it's called)
and was SOOOOOOOOO nice
>w<
We all shared.
Fried potato starter with cheese and shallots inside, Rosa spinach and feta ravioli, veal with some awesomesauce, Garlic cream prawns, Caesar salad, and Romano (cream of chicken and mushroom) Fettucini. (I think I gained about 10kg T^T)
Kev sulked for ages cos we screwed up his order, but we made up by letting him order again later.
Oh yeah had a Mocha cookie Frappe for a drink too >w<
CREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM~!

G-rents left and we drove to Andy's house (surprisingly).
Andy was asleep lol.
Plus his room has been relocated to Liwei's old one.
Which is smallish.
Not used to it~
Anywayz, yes.
He was...embarrassed. And I don't blame him.
LOL Matt said he wasn't wearing boxers so I made sure to avert my eyes before the blanket became too far lifted up ><;;
Andy took a shower, and Matt took the opportunity to show us Andy's recording of himself singing.
SO FKING FUNNY! xDD
He sung with bleeding love and some other emo song and other stuffs.
We got it on my usb before Andy got out of the shower (Y)

We then crashed Peter's room.
Where there i 2 new TVs (Y)
and all piled onto the bed.

We started talking about Ruby and Peter doing shifty stuffs and...yeah LOL
Cos apparently Andy and Matt caught them once.
And then we showed each other funny vids on Youtube.
Andy showed us this one of this HK chick called Ruby dissing her teacher's eng, ironically speaking in her own absolutely fail english LOL. sooooo lame. xD

WATCH!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OLBHk1qWlA

Then Peter and Ruby came back
Twas like WOAH! yayyy!
Haha
And Peter was all dressed up like a fresh-out-of-uni employee. The look suits him haha.
We migrated to Matt's house --> I ran up the driveway (it's been a while since I was able to do that =) )
And so we started playing the board game War on Terror =DDDDDD
Ruby sat out to be the world bank and stuffs
Basically its a strategy game where u try to take over the world as either an empire (country or nation or whatever) or as a terrorist >D
I tried to take over Asia but my bro nuked me (WIPING OUT FKING 2 3rds OF MY EMPIRE!! >[ )
Yes I was feeling very passionately about it xD
So then I dedicated the rest of the game trying to bring down my bro's empire.
I almost turned terrorist LOL.
In the end Peter won (damnit) but twas very fun nevertheless =)

Today went city with Dudu to watch Karate Kid.
Was late.
Haha.
Movie was ok...but not as epic as expected -sadface- but still quite epic =)
And then we went Norita to play Jenga =D
And I epic failed.
Lost 3 out of 4. T^T
We also had Fruit Eskimo and takoyaki =D
And then I went to buy pie from Cafe on Wheels again =D
Yumyum mash and cheese sauce >w<
On the way to central when we were leaving we AWESOMELY ran into Wenxi and Zac and friend called William (who was very fail becoz he ran into another 'friend' who he couldn't remember the name of LOL)
They were hobo-ing it out in Belmore Park with FFXIII Elixirs and Cloud Strife Cologne!! =D And apparently we turned up at just the right time to take a photo for them lol.
They ish epic =)
Kept going to Central while Dudu raged at Robine for ditching him for 6 girls, and yours truly got raged for not telling parents she was going out to city (sorta their own fault cos they assumed I was going to Chats ><;;)
And finally left (awkward parting LOL)
and wents home =)
lif

Labels: emotions, fail, Family, friends, fun, life

You're so frustrating.
I want to like you.
I really do.
And maybe sometimes I do.
But then there's times when
I watch the way you handle other people.
And how...how you seem so committed to making yourself the most noticed.
So much of what comes out of your mouth...it's like, yeah so what?
But in the end are you really committed to anyone in particular?
I wonder if it's tiring being everyone's.

But I guess I don't really have a say in this.
Since you're not changing.
And everybody loves you so much the way you are.
I'm the villain here.

I'm as insignificant as they come.



bla.

bla bla bla bla...

that's what the voices in my head sound like at the moment.

Labels: emotions

-ding-

random.

it's been ages since my last post.
i have been removed off the list consequently.
and understandably.

-stone-

i guess i have no excuse not to be blogging now since it's holidays.
but
i'm just not in the mood.

it's just that...there's been so much going on in my head recently.
and
it feels like there's only one person i can pour it all out to.
funnily enough,
not many of you would be able to guess who.

i think i'm digging my own grave here.
-sigh-

the sky's dark
had tutor this morning
and roger was his usual awesome self.
haha with all his 'BULLSHIT!'
and stuff
he makes me laugh =)
which is awesome.
i should be more serious about the hw now.
and stop making mistakes.

there's not much to talk about i guess.
the thoughts in my head are stil a swirl of mess
and i can't put them in a sensible order
so saying it out loud is kinda hard.
i don't even know myself how to go about fixing all this.

Recently I've been watching hana yori dango.
and the 2nd season too.
and it's weird for me to say this but...
its excessive.
like
i dont feel the dokidoki! D;
or rather
i just don't like the main couple haha.
hanazawa rui for the win! -squish-

recently it feels like...
the people i enjoy being with most isn't who i should be with.
like
i should be paying attention to the others more.
but
what can i do.
it feels like...
there's nothing to say.
a void.
an empty hole where conversation should be.

ah it's raining.

yesterday
went to luke's houseparty.
there was me, steffu, carumen-chan,
luke, joey, daniel, anthony, matty, kerry, and luke's bro richard =D
somehow feel like...no girls bothered going. i dno. thot it was meant to be viv's too...-confused-
meh.
everyone was obsessed over robot unicorn attack.
haha
was ironic cos dudu had intro-ed the game to me onli 2 nights ago =)
and doeo-ed (lol azn dorito xD), and ice1cube-d
and
yeahhh.
played poker with punches while waiting for luke carumen-chan and daniel.
then played levels =)
haha
levels is such epic fun.
i was very silent tho.
but still managed to get pulled from level zero to 3 in one go buy matty.
dayum.
me daniel and carumen-chan are normally the ones who stay longest on level zero =)
like last time at carumen-chan's house =)
heehee i take pride in this game^^
in the meantime we were passing around green grainwaves, doritos and kettle.
anthony wudnt give me the kettle .3.
lol steffu and matty kept hiding the grainwaves.

we then went out for lunch at roselands (raindrop) shopping centre.
before going luke bet me $20 that i cudnt lift 40kg on the bench press.
i did.
haha.
So gg-ed, broke luke has to owe me 20 once again xP

me and carumen-chan swapped shoes lol.
awkward cos her boots were spacey xD
we walked to roselands, stopping on the way at the playground haha with the wobbly thing.
lawn bowls place on the way.

i ate kfc.
and matty and luke spent most of the time telling everyone how dodgy maccers was.
haha cos steffu had a not-fresh cheeseburger.
fiona glasses yay.
i gg-ed myself with wicked wings.

on the way back
we spammed the little vending machines.
the guys got a $1 bouncy ball
and carumen-chan bought a mega sour which she gave to richard who spat it out after the prolonged disgust haha.
the guys were throwing the bouncy ball across the road on the way back.
immature idiots lol.
and me and carumen-chan were screaming for them to stop.

when we got back we played twister which was...interesting to say the least =)
being crushed by everyone.
and how joey and carumen-chan both managed to stay standing up for most of their rounds xP
we then played uno.
which was very epic =)
esp owned when i had to pick up 8 T^T
and stuff....~~~

twas in all a fun day =)

oh and got the tent fly from steffu (Y)...now have to plan the food haha.

train home was quiet.
spent most of the time sleeping...and thinking.
parents semi-raged when got home.
for not calling.

i managed to get the banner up finally =)
(kudos to dudu for the advice (Y))
took me about an hour or two of stitching tho T^T
but looks good =)
wonder if ppl will notice...
the other posters are all up too =)
i sleep below cosette now^^
maybe she'll drop the books on my head in my sleep haha.

i'm sorry if i sound a bit stoned.
or maybe i don't.
maybe that's just how i feel while i've been typing.
oh well.
gloomy weather.
gloomy mood.
gloomy life.

going to watch karate kid on saturday yay.
and play jenga maybe =)
asian fantasy lol.
that's an icecream btw ><;;

do i have the courage to let go...

Labels: down, emotions, fail, For the LOL, friends, life