Just no copying^^. That's all =)
If you do, i'll make sure u don't again -blink-
Swearing = ok (Y) cos i do it too ><
All work is original except for song lyrics xP
I take no credit for those at all~








Music Code here=)
GetItHere! lalala~ :D

June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
September 2010
October 2010
November 2010
January 2011
March 2011

oh i forgot to mention...As of the 14th (aka Monday)
I have officially been blogging for 1 year~! =D
Quite an achievement imo =)
There were breaks and stuffs
but in the end
Thank you for being here
in this place
where I could pour my heart out
at least as much as I could manage to.
Thankyou for hearing all my fked up thoughts.
It's been hard but Thankyou. <3

Labels: life, nostalgia, Thankyou

i feel so dumb.
Like
EXTRA dumb.
like
BEYOND stupid.
my academic ability is zero.
i swear
no i'm not being modest.
nowhere near.
i'm being fking honest with myself.
I'm a fking fail.

Despite the above rage
thankyou Nathan for studying this arvo with me
On completely out of the blue request.
Whether I managed to learn anything or not, i'm glad i could help u with Jap =)
Oh and Dudu for helping with Othello on msn =)

Sorry for always being the one in need.
I'm defs not the type someone would go to help for.
Sorry for being a burden, everyone.

But, it won't be long...till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Thankyou Jassy for the Thin bolsa wood dedication =)
Although I wouldn't really call it 'not feeling well' haha =)
Anata mo tokubetsu da yo.
Watashi...zenzen...
Demo kanshin shiteimasu~!
arigatou<3

Will blog bout today if have time.

Labels: fail, life, rage, school, Sorry, stress, Thankyou

Make a wish <3

Labels: 11:11

Today was cool I guess...

In the morning woke up and managed to get my ass out of bed quick enough to catch 7:25 from Turramurra.
So spaced out on the train haha.
Got to Leos, and saw William =)
We talked about his lenses and apprently how something had gone wrong and he was now long-sighted cos of the lenses...didn't rly get it but meh xD
oh and there was about how he was gna get a new computer if he did well in SC or something
and we talked all about this while we caught 143 bus too.
haha
and yeeeeeeaaaah

POINT IS~

I WASNT LATE FOR COMBINED! -win-
Lia was very tired -patpat-
while tristan and suvie viola-ed away (Y)
Jono got a haircut~! ;O
didn't know if it was him cos...his face shape looks diff i tihnk?
he looked very tired too =( -patpat-
oh and yesh tis Lia's bday -nods- =D
happy bday Lia you wonderful squishee >w<
<3

We warmed up with The Winner Takes it All and Let's begin again :3
like yayyyyy~ -happyfeeling-
halfway thru, Carumen-chan called me to open up the fire-escape
and VOILA~ reveals Alice Carumen-chan and DEJIAN~!!
YESH! persuaded OK! >D -win-

Bellar and Howell were both not there -hmmm-
no i kid xD
Bellar slept in xP
and Howuuuuuu....I dno xP

By Waters Clear and Flowing ish pretty
esp. with Frank's playing <3
cos Frank is awesomes like that~! :3
lol Richard dumped us xP
meh
Then we did Acapella Overtures <3
bahahahaha
bop bop bop bop~
ba da ba da~
LOO LOOOO~!
ahahaha such an awesome by funny song :3
<3

Finished on a good note (LOL no pun intended...again xD)
and
me and carumen-chan got Ms Moulton to do our PD survey (Y) =D
thank god she was within the age group LOL!
-failawkward-
Ms Moulton is 47 (Y)
not putting it out there or anything xD
and Mr Weiss is apparently not within the 45-55 age bracket...
hence
Ms Moulton is dating an 8-yr ol...
NO COMMENT~! =D
-awkward-
sooooooooooooooooooo moving on
xD

Went hopping around B-block looking for Mr Weiss
and he did the survey for us too =D
And some yr 12 SEXY NSB~ (in-joke much xD) was like
oohhhh Mr Weiss xD
ahahahaha guys crack me up =D
Mr Weiss put his age as: Old (Very)
and Ms Moulton put hers as: 47 (old)
haha
oh the LOL's
^^
Then we legged it out of NSB =)

Went to Eighty Ate where Carumen-chan showed me her Semi invite-designs =)
on her sexy laptop ^^
and we had brekkie :3
me with a mushroom, cheese, ham and onion omelette -orgasmic- (<--not literally ><;;)
and Carumen-chan with her Egg...B-...b-...B-something xD
twas nice :3
and her smoked salmon xP
and lots of whipped butter much? =)

note: Eighty ate staff are AWESOMES <3
=)

We had to like full stuff it down cos we were late for assembly haha
so as soon as we finished we legged it xD

got bak in time to mark our names off yay~
assembly was short
hmmm should I donate blood desuka~?
and should I go mocktail night desuka~?
decisions~ decisions~
-yes i am very scared of blood being SHOOPED out of me LOL-

PD first period talking about our survey results
and fitness choices.
and wat exercise means to us etc.
quite normal
bleurgh.

THen went with Carumen-chan to Ms Cleggy
sos he could get her Ars North T-shirt
plus ask to miss out on a bit of Acapella at lunch.
LOL Ms Cleggy has a deathsmile too, like Ms Moulton.
But not as scary xDDDD

Recess bleurgh
Used to being outside the 'O' now.
It's been a while since ppl forgot to make space.
-daijoubu desu~-
-will not be depressed anymore (Y)-

3rd period had Maths~
gets abs values now.
now i hate trig ><;;
gargh
totally didnt sink in that the test is on friday
FFFFFFFFFF
hehe
funtimes with Rina hehe
and my disappearing witeout lid
LOL
yes i can
conjure and disappear witeout lids xD
without my own knowledge of it
now as rina said i onli have to move on to elephants =D

Acapella at lunch.
the song is like second nature now i swear xD
txting shiftily (Y)
the song (And So It Goes) made me sad... =(
like
just made me think things while singing.
-sigh-

oh yes...did i mention bellar got a fringe? =)
wat a cutie =)

Modern 4th Pweriod.
Doing essay stuffs.
ARRRGHHH we have to hand in stuffs for thurs.
like
NOTES~!
-dies-
bellar's such a modern pro -cries-
why do i suck so much T^T
no don't answer that ><;;

5th Ancient with the American sub LOL
yes her accent is so annoying LOL
Carumen-chan and Lia and me were having fun looking thru Carumen-chan's old ppl shops xD
so funi
x)
ppl's faces amaze me...they really do haha
and found out from steph and lily and linda
that we onli have to do
one
greek drama.
-fail-
ARGGGHHHH~
yesh
i shall
now
do
Ion shtuffs =)
EURIPIDES~
-dies again-

walking to leos saw cath and lauren.
I stoned between them while they talked about sound and lighting stuffs.
and they were persuading me to go mocktail (Y)
shall think about it~

oooh self reminder.
gala day is nxt friday
ARGH!
yes i make manly noises
and yes i make them often
build a bridge (Y)
xD


met the doosh in mufti on the train.
was feeling bad for a bit
but got better
company is always best<3

so tired~ ><;;
didnt wanna get off at pymble.
he walked me home yay~
but shifty~
cos mum was gna drive down the road~
but then~
we hid~
then mum got even sus-er~
LOL~
i'll stop xD

but yeah
we finally got to my house
and we went in
and yeah.
bummed.

-shift-

(Y)

for a while haha.

till 5:30 yeah?
=)

----
oh note.
ur breath was shifty today xP
eat mints ;P
----

he legs it to station~

yayyy warm blanket on the couch.
and hot minestrone :3

parents didn't come back till 7:30 lolfail.

we had pizza for dinner.
so fulllll -poof-
liek deep pan =)

now shall go shower
and
try to get something done.
T^T

Labels: emotions, For the LOL, friends, life, love, school, stress

See this is what I'm talking about.
Obligation ><;; maybe not a good thing.
But the fact that you do it anyway is a good end to the day =)
Haha thank you for making me feel loved <3 =)
I take it completely out of context maybe xD
but still...it makes me happy =)
it's very nice of you.
Thankyou =)

Labels: emotions, friends, Thankyou

To you, and various other people out there in search of answers;
I have no wise advice to give.
I've run out of that.
Or maybe I had none to begin with.
All I have to offer is:

"Hang in there."

Labels: emotions, friends, life

why does everyone come to me for help about these things...
Stop it.
I'm not qualified to give you advice.
Just stop myself from making things worse.
I don't wanna screw up anymore lives.

Make it all go away.

Labels: emotions, friends, love, stress

Today started off late last night haha.

On the phone till...what was it...1:30?
Fun times.
It's nice talking to you cos...well I can be myself?
Or maybe it's cos we're both so immature.
Yeah i think that's it =D

Got invited to go iceskating today at Macq.
Uber random LOL
Matt organised it =) (as in 'HOW LOOOONG OH LOOOOORD BEFORE YOU LET ME DIIIIIEEE~?!') ;]

Dudu woke me up at 9 as promised haha.
cos free Voda is cool like that LOL
then slept for another hr or so xD
spent ages picking out something I wouldn't freeze my ass in esp if i fell LOL
(I dont normally include random details about my clothes...was just very prominent in my memory lol)
Then mum and dad were nice enough to drive me there =D
(after lifting the fridge into dad's car haha -awkward-)

Lolz was super late (arrived at about 11:35)
and felt so...awkward xD
cos onli got invited late late last night (this morning)
But people were nice about it =D
and saw like Clare and Dejian -cueNGAWWWW-
and Matt was rly nice about the random crashing haha =)
-hug-

Got my skates which were like awesomely kool compared to the Canterbury ones
haha cos they fit this time x)
and we skated. haha go figure.

People there were:
Clare, Claudz (T), Dejian, Dudu, Matt, Louis, Andrew Lai (an NSB I met today LOL) another NSB who I never properly found out the name of haha, and these other 2 random girls lol.

Had awesome fun like...
(Dejian and Dudu) tagging random ppl on the shoulder,
Limbo-ing with Louis who is like FULL beast at iceskating (THIRTEEN YEARS man!)
dodging/crashing into/pedo-ing with Claudz on little kiddies (sorry ><)
and just you know. chillin xD (no pun intended)

Was awesome fun.
esp the end.
Where we were like planning how to chime ppl's photos
and
make ppl look at each other haha.

then went up to have lunch
got Hungry Jacks with Dudu
My storm looked like...shit xD
and he made sure I knew it -fkyou-
ahhhh~ goodtimes arguing lol.

we then joined the rest of the group who had not saved seas for us .3.
and talked about stuffs.
Matt had a piece of brown chicken on his sundae spoon,
and I thought it had come out of his Sundae cup.
and was like 'D; WTF is that?!'
and then
Matty couldn't eat it anymore cos he kept laughing LOL
and yesh Claudz and Matt are very -ngaawwww-
and Cluadz looked nice today =)
even though she didn't brush her hair this morn lOL

We then just bummed around Macq for like...an hour.
Crashed GAME (the shop) while Claudz and Clare (and Louis and Matt LOL) went shopping at SES
and had awesome childish fun poking raving rabbids stomachs which made AARRRGRHHHH noises.
Very fun
esp when a lot of them were screaming at the same time LOL.
Oh the immaturity.

We then went up to the top level
so Matt could buy his new Virgin sim =D
And we looked very fascinatingly at the Chalet cookshop.
Me and Dudu couldn't figure otu how to open the snowglobe -fail-
and then I went high with the winding salad tosser haha

Crashed borders.
Where me and Dejian and Dudu went zip to the manga section lol.
Rurouni Kenshin IS AWESOME!
Yay i have a fellow fanatic heehee :3
Then we went to the park across the road.
And i kept phoning.
-feelsbad-

Haha the swings were SOOOOO dodgy.
like out of 3 sets of swings.
Only one didnt make noise.
Creaking/squeaking/gunshot noises.
fking scary.
and gaytards who pushed me made me go high like -that-
"It went as high as that" -indicates-
no Dejian you DONT get to 'that's what she said" call it xP

I'm a chicken and cannot jump off the swings LOL
Someday will learn how to.
or rather find the guts to.
then show Dudu LOL

Dudu and Louis sat ont he seesaw and bumped their asses.
-facepalm-
I think the park residents were like all WTF
oh yeah and Matt did crazy shit by walking on top of the flying fox.
Was so scared he'd fall D;

CLaudia went >w< over Andrew's cousin
and Clare went home early (poor Dejian)
We then started doing hardcore shit on the grass.
and I CAN DO A WALKOVER NOW~!!!!
-kudos to Dejian and Dudu for the peer pressure LOL-
next stop, Backward flip from bridge =D

We left around 4-4:30 ish
-sadface-
CLaudz and Louis took car home.
COuld've asked for a ride too
since they both live in Pymble LOL
but cbf.
So took train with Dudu and Dejian.
Gate open -win-

Took city train (to Chats) with them
Talkd about...dance and flexibility (moderated form talk about me doing hiphop)
Then switched train.
and went with them at Chats cos I was bored LOL
in hopes of taking the train coming in 15 minutes back to Gordon.
But I missed it at ARtarmon
-fail-
So went all the way to NS LOL
and made it~ =D

the rest of the arvo is history.

Labels: For the LOL, friends, fun, life

Labels: emotions, friends, Sorry

Today was a good day =)
Maybe cos it was mostly bludge haha xD

morning went early for snr vocal.
nathan was also at the station.
and he bought a caramello from me~ =D
then he thot it was too sweet.
watafail xD

Camthom got on at train.
was slightly awkward (tu)
but managed to talk to him like...a few words.
haha
fail.
was whining about how nsb's get to go snow.
and bagging nathan out about his snowboarding fail ;P

got to snr vocal 8:15-20. cleggy didnt rage so...meh
xD
realised when i got there and saw everyone in mufti...that i forgot Bluedragon mufti day.
FFFFFF and its blue theme too~!!! T^T
I still don't know the Africa song well.
-fail-
Pemulwuy cracks me up.
tis so...epic.
Like
we're screaming
or at least the Sopranos are ;P
heehee

---------
on a present note.
the minestrone is very nice and warm.
and so is the big blankie i've got over my legs.
heehee
it's the same material as Fleecey (yes i named my jacket and nightgown xP)
and the same colour
so i shall call it FleeceySenior
-random-
----------

1st period in Ct1 for Eng.
People bludged LOL
spent the whole period randoming it out with Rina xD.
Sorry for not working much Suvie D;

2nd period maths~
Revision.
we got our topic test back.
I DIDNT FAIL!
-shokku-
like...i thot i'd DaiFail~ (lame shuddup --> u guys make the joke so much its a habit ><;;)
but instead...i was...ADEQUATE! D;
revision was pretty meh.
knew most of the stuff.
tis good.
x)
means i know most of Plane geo and functions haha.
except abs.values.
i abhore them xD
Dudu called randomly...and fail hung up-ed xD
cos i said bye to Rina
and he was like
"Ok cya"
and hungup
FAIL! xD

recess...gave cath the stuffs.
i hope its used =)
well i rly do...
i mean i was up till 4 putting them on my usb LOL
hey i went through all of yr9,10 and 11.
excessive i know.

Ancient was kool =)
none of Mr Magic's books have Herakles in them T^T
shall have to research more~
lia, and carumen-chan went thru my ipod heehee.
feels happy for updating =D
we then watched a vid on persians vs. athenians.
was KOOL!
took LOTS OF NOTES! =D
haha i'm sad.
no but rly.
was such an epic vid xD
OH AND MR MAGIC GAVE US SHOUT CUPCAKES! =D
choco and hundreds&thousands <3

lunch went yr 11 vocal/pick up arts north festival shirt.
ms clegy is scrapping fly me to the moon for gala concert =(
instead we're doing i'm gonna walk.
and we're doing Choralography now xD
yes that's spelt rite i think xP
Ms Roser says we're flat
-fail-
we need more ppls~ T^T

4th period modern.
LOL Superpower Party xP
aka Suez Crisis.
i dislike the arab-israeli conflict ><;;
too many wars~
like srsly they last a week ==;;
anwyayz
notes notes notes~
ran out of looseleaf so had to use the grid paper at back of folder instead LOL
lol Jess and being british xD

Last period free Jap.
in library.
Wanted to go canoodle in our canoodling corner with Rina
but wendy invited us in
so was like ok meh~
We (I) groovesharked Jpop
heehee =)
Rina was making her abstract window out of cardboard.
and tried to stick a piece on with witeout LOL
(too lazy to walk to get glustick ;P)
then we camwhored with out ghost reflections xD
and she kidnapped my glue stick lol

walked to st leos...was FFFFing cold T^T
for all guys out there...
u are LUCKY u cant wear a skirt LOL

winston said hi to me...as...REBECCA DAI!
awkward...==;;
and then his friends were like "how do you know all these people?!" LOL

thankyou carumen-chan for your comments.
your LGMH <3

Labels: fail, friends, life, school

ps. To Suvie (who wont be reading this anyway LOL) who spent our Othello period D&Ming with me
thankyou so much.
It meant a lot.
And it was nice talking to you about stuff.
Now let's focus on planning our death LOL (as Othello and Desdemona I mean ;P)

Labels: emotions, friends, Thankyou

To the person who wrote on it, and to the person who was about to write on it;
Thank you, it means a lot. It was a nice surprise...sorry I didn't notice earlier.

but I don't think I can promise either.

Labels: down, emotions, Thankyou

I wanna cry. I wanna scream.
Maybe I'm being paranoid.
Maybe I'm being a bitch.
Maybe I'm being self pitiful.
And maybe nobody cares.
Or maybe they do and I'm just too stubborn to accept the fact I'm the only one who can't see reality here.

But I don't give a fuck anymore.
Don't come and find me.
You can't find me.
I'm already long gone.


I could really use a wish right now.

Labels: down, emotions

went to DK yesterday.
twas nice seeing Jaye again after so long. =D
hehe the class looked like it was gna be just me and the pro chick. (cos of uni exams)
except ppl started pouring in.
and pro chick with makeup caked on looks disappointed xP
class ended up as about 7 or 8.

died after situps haha.
We did a routine to a song which kept repeating
"I can be a freak, I can be a freak, I can be a freak, everyday and every night..."
lol.

I feel so...empowered when i dance.
Like, as if it's one of the few things i can control in my life.
A short period of calm where my body is physically exerting itself,
but it's peace of mind.
Like, there are no boundaries.
I don't have to slow down for anyone.
I don't have to be anyone else because there's someone who should be in the spotlight instead.
That's why I love Jaye's classes.
It's you yourself being whoever you wanna be.

It's another world.

*note: must learn the Replay dance from JOJO~!! =D

Labels: emotions, life

Labels: down, life

Sorry for taking you for granted.
There are so many things I can't say directly to you.
I think you know by now I'm not very good with expressing myself.
So please understand why I'm posting this here.
I love you so much. I love you with all my heart.
So much it makes me cry (now).
This time last year, I didn't know I had met the person who can perhaps understand me the best out of everyone in the world.
Admittedly there are things I can't tell you (you normally get it out of me anyway haha).
But you've always been by my side.
All these 10 months.
And the one place I feel most at home,
is in your arms.

I didn't realise how weak I was,
until I found myself unable to stand without you.

For a year ago, for 10th/12th August,
for those long months apart while I trekked China and Japan,
for today, yesterday and every other day in between...

thankyou. <3

Labels: emotions, love, nostalgia, Thankyou

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Labels: emotions, love, Music of the heart, Thankyou

nobody can know.

oh i forgot to mention...As of the 14th (aka Monday)
I have officially been blogging for 1 year~! =D
Quite an achievement imo =)
There were breaks and stuffs
but in the end
Thank you for being here
in this place
where I could pour my heart out
at least as much as I could manage to.
Thankyou for hearing all my fked up thoughts.
It's been hard but Thankyou. <3

Labels: life, nostalgia, Thankyou

i feel so dumb.
Like
EXTRA dumb.
like
BEYOND stupid.
my academic ability is zero.
i swear
no i'm not being modest.
nowhere near.
i'm being fking honest with myself.
I'm a fking fail.

Despite the above rage
thankyou Nathan for studying this arvo with me
On completely out of the blue request.
Whether I managed to learn anything or not, i'm glad i could help u with Jap =)
Oh and Dudu for helping with Othello on msn =)

Sorry for always being the one in need.
I'm defs not the type someone would go to help for.
Sorry for being a burden, everyone.

But, it won't be long...till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on.

Thankyou Jassy for the Thin bolsa wood dedication =)
Although I wouldn't really call it 'not feeling well' haha =)
Anata mo tokubetsu da yo.
Watashi...zenzen...
Demo kanshin shiteimasu~!
arigatou<3

Will blog bout today if have time.

Labels: fail, life, rage, school, Sorry, stress, Thankyou

Make a wish <3

Labels: 11:11

Today was cool I guess...

In the morning woke up and managed to get my ass out of bed quick enough to catch 7:25 from Turramurra.
So spaced out on the train haha.
Got to Leos, and saw William =)
We talked about his lenses and apprently how something had gone wrong and he was now long-sighted cos of the lenses...didn't rly get it but meh xD
oh and there was about how he was gna get a new computer if he did well in SC or something
and we talked all about this while we caught 143 bus too.
haha
and yeeeeeeaaaah

POINT IS~

I WASNT LATE FOR COMBINED! -win-
Lia was very tired -patpat-
while tristan and suvie viola-ed away (Y)
Jono got a haircut~! ;O
didn't know if it was him cos...his face shape looks diff i tihnk?
he looked very tired too =( -patpat-
oh and yesh tis Lia's bday -nods- =D
happy bday Lia you wonderful squishee >w<
<3

We warmed up with The Winner Takes it All and Let's begin again :3
like yayyyyy~ -happyfeeling-
halfway thru, Carumen-chan called me to open up the fire-escape
and VOILA~ reveals Alice Carumen-chan and DEJIAN~!!
YESH! persuaded OK! >D -win-

Bellar and Howell were both not there -hmmm-
no i kid xD
Bellar slept in xP
and Howuuuuuu....I dno xP

By Waters Clear and Flowing ish pretty
esp. with Frank's playing <3
cos Frank is awesomes like that~! :3
lol Richard dumped us xP
meh
Then we did Acapella Overtures <3
bahahahaha
bop bop bop bop~
ba da ba da~
LOO LOOOO~!
ahahaha such an awesome by funny song :3
<3

Finished on a good note (LOL no pun intended...again xD)
and
me and carumen-chan got Ms Moulton to do our PD survey (Y) =D
thank god she was within the age group LOL!
-failawkward-
Ms Moulton is 47 (Y)
not putting it out there or anything xD
and Mr Weiss is apparently not within the 45-55 age bracket...
hence
Ms Moulton is dating an 8-yr ol...
NO COMMENT~! =D
-awkward-
sooooooooooooooooooo moving on
xD

Went hopping around B-block looking for Mr Weiss
and he did the survey for us too =D
And some yr 12 SEXY NSB~ (in-joke much xD) was like
oohhhh Mr Weiss xD
ahahahaha guys crack me up =D
Mr Weiss put his age as: Old (Very)
and Ms Moulton put hers as: 47 (old)
haha
oh the LOL's
^^
Then we legged it out of NSB =)

Went to Eighty Ate where Carumen-chan showed me her Semi invite-designs =)
on her sexy laptop ^^
and we had brekkie :3
me with a mushroom, cheese, ham and onion omelette -orgasmic- (<--not literally ><;;)
and Carumen-chan with her Egg...B-...b-...B-something xD
twas nice :3
and her smoked salmon xP
and lots of whipped butter much? =)

note: Eighty ate staff are AWESOMES <3
=)

We had to like full stuff it down cos we were late for assembly haha
so as soon as we finished we legged it xD

got bak in time to mark our names off yay~
assembly was short
hmmm should I donate blood desuka~?
and should I go mocktail night desuka~?
decisions~ decisions~
-yes i am very scared of blood being SHOOPED out of me LOL-

PD first period talking about our survey results
and fitness choices.
and wat exercise means to us etc.
quite normal
bleurgh.

THen went with Carumen-chan to Ms Cleggy
sos he could get her Ars North T-shirt
plus ask to miss out on a bit of Acapella at lunch.
LOL Ms Cleggy has a deathsmile too, like Ms Moulton.
But not as scary xDDDD

Recess bleurgh
Used to being outside the 'O' now.
It's been a while since ppl forgot to make space.
-daijoubu desu~-
-will not be depressed anymore (Y)-

3rd period had Maths~
gets abs values now.
now i hate trig ><;;
gargh
totally didnt sink in that the test is on friday
FFFFFFFFFF
hehe
funtimes with Rina hehe
and my disappearing witeout lid
LOL
yes i can
conjure and disappear witeout lids xD
without my own knowledge of it
now as rina said i onli have to move on to elephants =D

Acapella at lunch.
the song is like second nature now i swear xD
txting shiftily (Y)
the song (And So It Goes) made me sad... =(
like
just made me think things while singing.
-sigh-

oh yes...did i mention bellar got a fringe? =)
wat a cutie =)

Modern 4th Pweriod.
Doing essay stuffs.
ARRRGHHH we have to hand in stuffs for thurs.
like
NOTES~!
-dies-
bellar's such a modern pro -cries-
why do i suck so much T^T
no don't answer that ><;;

5th Ancient with the American sub LOL
yes her accent is so annoying LOL
Carumen-chan and Lia and me were having fun looking thru Carumen-chan's old ppl shops xD
so funi
x)
ppl's faces amaze me...they really do haha
and found out from steph and lily and linda
that we onli have to do
one
greek drama.
-fail-
ARGGGHHHH~
yesh
i shall
now
do
Ion shtuffs =)
EURIPIDES~
-dies again-

walking to leos saw cath and lauren.
I stoned between them while they talked about sound and lighting stuffs.
and they were persuading me to go mocktail (Y)
shall think about it~

oooh self reminder.
gala day is nxt friday
ARGH!
yes i make manly noises
and yes i make them often
build a bridge (Y)
xD


met the doosh in mufti on the train.
was feeling bad for a bit
but got better
company is always best<3

so tired~ ><;;
didnt wanna get off at pymble.
he walked me home yay~
but shifty~
cos mum was gna drive down the road~
but then~
we hid~
then mum got even sus-er~
LOL~
i'll stop xD

but yeah
we finally got to my house
and we went in
and yeah.
bummed.

-shift-

(Y)

for a while haha.

till 5:30 yeah?
=)

----
oh note.
ur breath was shifty today xP
eat mints ;P
----

he legs it to station~

yayyy warm blanket on the couch.
and hot minestrone :3

parents didn't come back till 7:30 lolfail.

we had pizza for dinner.
so fulllll -poof-
liek deep pan =)

now shall go shower
and
try to get something done.
T^T

Labels: emotions, For the LOL, friends, life, love, school, stress

See this is what I'm talking about.
Obligation ><;; maybe not a good thing.
But the fact that you do it anyway is a good end to the day =)
Haha thank you for making me feel loved <3 =)
I take it completely out of context maybe xD
but still...it makes me happy =)
it's very nice of you.
Thankyou =)

Labels: emotions, friends, Thankyou

To you, and various other people out there in search of answers;
I have no wise advice to give.
I've run out of that.
Or maybe I had none to begin with.
All I have to offer is:

"Hang in there."

Labels: emotions, friends, life

why does everyone come to me for help about these things...
Stop it.
I'm not qualified to give you advice.
Just stop myself from making things worse.
I don't wanna screw up anymore lives.

Make it all go away.

Labels: emotions, friends, love, stress

Today started off late last night haha.

On the phone till...what was it...1:30?
Fun times.
It's nice talking to you cos...well I can be myself?
Or maybe it's cos we're both so immature.
Yeah i think that's it =D

Got invited to go iceskating today at Macq.
Uber random LOL
Matt organised it =) (as in 'HOW LOOOONG OH LOOOOORD BEFORE YOU LET ME DIIIIIEEE~?!') ;]

Dudu woke me up at 9 as promised haha.
cos free Voda is cool like that LOL
then slept for another hr or so xD
spent ages picking out something I wouldn't freeze my ass in esp if i fell LOL
(I dont normally include random details about my clothes...was just very prominent in my memory lol)
Then mum and dad were nice enough to drive me there =D
(after lifting the fridge into dad's car haha -awkward-)

Lolz was super late (arrived at about 11:35)
and felt so...awkward xD
cos onli got invited late late last night (this morning)
But people were nice about it =D
and saw like Clare and Dejian -cueNGAWWWW-
and Matt was rly nice about the random crashing haha =)
-hug-

Got my skates which were like awesomely kool compared to the Canterbury ones
haha cos they fit this time x)
and we skated. haha go figure.

People there were:
Clare, Claudz (T), Dejian, Dudu, Matt, Louis, Andrew Lai (an NSB I met today LOL) another NSB who I never properly found out the name of haha, and these other 2 random girls lol.

Had awesome fun like...
(Dejian and Dudu) tagging random ppl on the shoulder,
Limbo-ing with Louis who is like FULL beast at iceskating (THIRTEEN YEARS man!)
dodging/crashing into/pedo-ing with Claudz on little kiddies (sorry ><)
and just you know. chillin xD (no pun intended)

Was awesome fun.
esp the end.
Where we were like planning how to chime ppl's photos
and
make ppl look at each other haha.

then went up to have lunch
got Hungry Jacks with Dudu
My storm looked like...shit xD
and he made sure I knew it -fkyou-
ahhhh~ goodtimes arguing lol.

we then joined the rest of the group who had not saved seas for us .3.
and talked about stuffs.
Matt had a piece of brown chicken on his sundae spoon,
and I thought it had come out of his Sundae cup.
and was like 'D; WTF is that?!'
and then
Matty couldn't eat it anymore cos he kept laughing LOL
and yesh Claudz and Matt are very -ngaawwww-
and Cluadz looked nice today =)
even though she didn't brush her hair this morn lOL

We then just bummed around Macq for like...an hour.
Crashed GAME (the shop) while Claudz and Clare (and Louis and Matt LOL) went shopping at SES
and had awesome childish fun poking raving rabbids stomachs which made AARRRGRHHHH noises.
Very fun
esp when a lot of them were screaming at the same time LOL.
Oh the immaturity.

We then went up to the top level
so Matt could buy his new Virgin sim =D
And we looked very fascinatingly at the Chalet cookshop.
Me and Dudu couldn't figure otu how to open the snowglobe -fail-
and then I went high with the winding salad tosser haha

Crashed borders.
Where me and Dejian and Dudu went zip to the manga section lol.
Rurouni Kenshin IS AWESOME!
Yay i have a fellow fanatic heehee :3
Then we went to the park across the road.
And i kept phoning.
-feelsbad-

Haha the swings were SOOOOO dodgy.
like out of 3 sets of swings.
Only one didnt make noise.
Creaking/squeaking/gunshot noises.
fking scary.
and gaytards who pushed me made me go high like -that-
"It went as high as that" -indicates-
no Dejian you DONT get to 'that's what she said" call it xP

I'm a chicken and cannot jump off the swings LOL
Someday will learn how to.
or rather find the guts to.
then show Dudu LOL

Dudu and Louis sat ont he seesaw and bumped their asses.
-facepalm-
I think the park residents were like all WTF
oh yeah and Matt did crazy shit by walking on top of the flying fox.
Was so scared he'd fall D;

CLaudia went >w< over Andrew's cousin
and Clare went home early (poor Dejian)
We then started doing hardcore shit on the grass.
and I CAN DO A WALKOVER NOW~!!!!
-kudos to Dejian and Dudu for the peer pressure LOL-
next stop, Backward flip from bridge =D

We left around 4-4:30 ish
-sadface-
CLaudz and Louis took car home.
COuld've asked for a ride too
since they both live in Pymble LOL
but cbf.
So took train with Dudu and Dejian.
Gate open -win-

Took city train (to Chats) with them
Talkd about...dance and flexibility (moderated form talk about me doing hiphop)
Then switched train.
and went with them at Chats cos I was bored LOL
in hopes of taking the train coming in 15 minutes back to Gordon.
But I missed it at ARtarmon
-fail-
So went all the way to NS LOL
and made it~ =D

the rest of the arvo is history.

Labels: For the LOL, friends, fun, life

Labels: emotions, friends, Sorry

Today was a good day =)
Maybe cos it was mostly bludge haha xD

morning went early for snr vocal.
nathan was also at the station.
and he bought a caramello from me~ =D
then he thot it was too sweet.
watafail xD

Camthom got on at train.
was slightly awkward (tu)
but managed to talk to him like...a few words.
haha
fail.
was whining about how nsb's get to go snow.
and bagging nathan out about his snowboarding fail ;P

got to snr vocal 8:15-20. cleggy didnt rage so...meh
xD
realised when i got there and saw everyone in mufti...that i forgot Bluedragon mufti day.
FFFFFF and its blue theme too~!!! T^T
I still don't know the Africa song well.
-fail-
Pemulwuy cracks me up.
tis so...epic.
Like
we're screaming
or at least the Sopranos are ;P
heehee

---------
on a present note.
the minestrone is very nice and warm.
and so is the big blankie i've got over my legs.
heehee
it's the same material as Fleecey (yes i named my jacket and nightgown xP)
and the same colour
so i shall call it FleeceySenior
-random-
----------

1st period in Ct1 for Eng.
People bludged LOL
spent the whole period randoming it out with Rina xD.
Sorry for not working much Suvie D;

2nd period maths~
Revision.
we got our topic test back.
I DIDNT FAIL!
-shokku-
like...i thot i'd DaiFail~ (lame shuddup --> u guys make the joke so much its a habit ><;;)
but instead...i was...ADEQUATE! D;
revision was pretty meh.
knew most of the stuff.
tis good.
x)
means i know most of Plane geo and functions haha.
except abs.values.
i abhore them xD
Dudu called randomly...and fail hung up-ed xD
cos i said bye to Rina
and he was like
"Ok cya"
and hungup
FAIL! xD

recess...gave cath the stuffs.
i hope its used =)
well i rly do...
i mean i was up till 4 putting them on my usb LOL
hey i went through all of yr9,10 and 11.
excessive i know.

Ancient was kool =)
none of Mr Magic's books have Herakles in them T^T
shall have to research more~
lia, and carumen-chan went thru my ipod heehee.
feels happy for updating =D
we then watched a vid on persians vs. athenians.
was KOOL!
took LOTS OF NOTES! =D
haha i'm sad.
no but rly.
was such an epic vid xD
OH AND MR MAGIC GAVE US SHOUT CUPCAKES! =D
choco and hundreds&thousands <3

lunch went yr 11 vocal/pick up arts north festival shirt.
ms clegy is scrapping fly me to the moon for gala concert =(
instead we're doing i'm gonna walk.
and we're doing Choralography now xD
yes that's spelt rite i think xP
Ms Roser says we're flat
-fail-
we need more ppls~ T^T

4th period modern.
LOL Superpower Party xP
aka Suez Crisis.
i dislike the arab-israeli conflict ><;;
too many wars~
like srsly they last a week ==;;
anwyayz
notes notes notes~
ran out of looseleaf so had to use the grid paper at back of folder instead LOL
lol Jess and being british xD

Last period free Jap.
in library.
Wanted to go canoodle in our canoodling corner with Rina
but wendy invited us in
so was like ok meh~
We (I) groovesharked Jpop
heehee =)
Rina was making her abstract window out of cardboard.
and tried to stick a piece on with witeout LOL
(too lazy to walk to get glustick ;P)
then we camwhored with out ghost reflections xD
and she kidnapped my glue stick lol

walked to st leos...was FFFFing cold T^T
for all guys out there...
u are LUCKY u cant wear a skirt LOL

winston said hi to me...as...REBECCA DAI!
awkward...==;;
and then his friends were like "how do you know all these people?!" LOL

thankyou carumen-chan for your comments.
your LGMH <3

Labels: fail, friends, life, school

ps. To Suvie (who wont be reading this anyway LOL) who spent our Othello period D&Ming with me
thankyou so much.
It meant a lot.
And it was nice talking to you about stuff.
Now let's focus on planning our death LOL (as Othello and Desdemona I mean ;P)

Labels: emotions, friends, Thankyou

To the person who wrote on it, and to the person who was about to write on it;
Thank you, it means a lot. It was a nice surprise...sorry I didn't notice earlier.

but I don't think I can promise either.

Labels: down, emotions, Thankyou

I wanna cry. I wanna scream.
Maybe I'm being paranoid.
Maybe I'm being a bitch.
Maybe I'm being self pitiful.
And maybe nobody cares.
Or maybe they do and I'm just too stubborn to accept the fact I'm the only one who can't see reality here.

But I don't give a fuck anymore.
Don't come and find me.
You can't find me.
I'm already long gone.


I could really use a wish right now.

Labels: down, emotions

went to DK yesterday.
twas nice seeing Jaye again after so long. =D
hehe the class looked like it was gna be just me and the pro chick. (cos of uni exams)
except ppl started pouring in.
and pro chick with makeup caked on looks disappointed xP
class ended up as about 7 or 8.

died after situps haha.
We did a routine to a song which kept repeating
"I can be a freak, I can be a freak, I can be a freak, everyday and every night..."
lol.

I feel so...empowered when i dance.
Like, as if it's one of the few things i can control in my life.
A short period of calm where my body is physically exerting itself,
but it's peace of mind.
Like, there are no boundaries.
I don't have to slow down for anyone.
I don't have to be anyone else because there's someone who should be in the spotlight instead.
That's why I love Jaye's classes.
It's you yourself being whoever you wanna be.

It's another world.

*note: must learn the Replay dance from JOJO~!! =D

Labels: emotions, life

Labels: down, life

Sorry for taking you for granted.
There are so many things I can't say directly to you.
I think you know by now I'm not very good with expressing myself.
So please understand why I'm posting this here.
I love you so much. I love you with all my heart.
So much it makes me cry (now).
This time last year, I didn't know I had met the person who can perhaps understand me the best out of everyone in the world.
Admittedly there are things I can't tell you (you normally get it out of me anyway haha).
But you've always been by my side.
All these 10 months.
And the one place I feel most at home,
is in your arms.

I didn't realise how weak I was,
until I found myself unable to stand without you.

For a year ago, for 10th/12th August,
for those long months apart while I trekked China and Japan,
for today, yesterday and every other day in between...

thankyou. <3

Labels: emotions, love, nostalgia, Thankyou

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I'm wasted
And I'm wastin' every day

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love[repeat]

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Labels: emotions, love, Music of the heart, Thankyou

nobody can know.